Why do so many women blame peri menopausal for their moods?

I felt the same. Whilst in the midst of crazy pre-men , I wasn’t sure if it was justifiable rage from having lived a thousand little irritations and smiling dutifully through it all, building over time. It was like a fuse had been lit, and I wanted to watch it burn. I was already burning with rage, so small things would easy set me off, especially bullshit.

Now I feel like I am on the other side (mostly), and I stopped smiling dutifully.

Not sure if Estrogen makes you friendlier as a pp claimed. I’ve never been particularly friendly 😬. Plus I’m actually less emotional than I used to be.
I’ve become a lot more intolerant as of late and while it may be peri (mid 40s) I think it may just be mid life crisis and/or less tolerance for bullshit tbh.

Those of us who are impacted can tell the difference in our moods between justifiable and rational anger at injustice in the world and the absolute white hot out of nowhere rage or disproportionate anger at life's minor irritations

For example, throwing a plate across the room without even a pause and then immediately bursting into tears because I had no idea why I had done it other than an inanimate object wasn't quite where I thought it should be in that moment. It was terrifying as that kind of aggression is not me. There wasn't even else in the house for me to illogically hold responsible!

Within days of starting on HRT, I started to felt more like myself than I had in years and I can look back at how awful it must have been for my family to put up with.

If you haven't experienced it, you will never fully understand. And having lived it, I don't want you to, no one should have to.

I always had mood fluctuations with PMT but peri was off the scale by comparison. OMG the RAGE! I can never go back to a certain local shop after I had a full-on screaming meltdown in there.

The reason I blame peri is my lived experience. I have never felt such anger over absolutely trivial things in all my life up to that point nor has it happened since starting HRT. I fear I may have to go through it again when I come off HRT, but hopefully it won't last too long.

I quite agree that women should own their justified anger, but peri menopause made me (and other women I've known) completely crazy and totally unreasonable.

@OSU I am doing much better now. One of the positives is that as others have said, the hormone imbalance can make you much more assertive so after being fobbed off with anti-depressants by two (female, middle-aged) GPs, and offered folid acid (wtf?) by a younger, male GP, I practically demanded HRT patches from the 4th I spoke to. You'd have thought that 3 GPs could look at a 48 year old who had had a hysterectomy (kept my ovaries) 3 years previously and join the dots, but that's apparently too much to expect. That was about 3 years ago and although i'm still prone to occasional bouts of anxiety which I never ever had before, I am not seeing things as bleak as I was.

Menopause is so much more than the stereotypical hot flushes. I am so grateful to the ladies who post on here about their symptoms and guve support and advice because it was reading forums here and other websites, and listening to public figures like Mariella Frostrup or Kirsty Wark talk about their experiences and made me realise that I wasn't losing my mind, that I didn't have dementia or psychosis or anything like that, all I needed was to slap a 75 mcg estrogen patch on my arse every 4 days. Have now added in Ovestin cream to the routine and that's working wonders too.

There are a LOT of people who think that all you need to get through menopause is some hearty vegan food, a bit of positive thinking and a yoga class. If that works for you then great. If it doesn't, it's not some sort of moral failing to use HRT, which can be life changing.

Because they DO !!!

@OSU Thanks @KnottedTwine If you need or want it you should be able to get it hes a twat

@KnottedTwine unmumsnetty hugs to you

The oestrogen in Elleste Duet Conti can be considered body identical. It uses synthetic estradiol which is chemically and biologically identical to the hormone estradiol humans produce. The progesterone used, norethisterone, is synthetic but not considered body identical.

Its body identical Elleste Duet Conti. Pills

Never planned ways to kill myself before I hit peri and was refuse HRT by the doctor.

Guess I was just attention seeking and all I needed to do was to pull myself together and accept it was natural.

Sorry for the 😂 that was a typo 😳

If the HRT you were on was pills it's likely not to have been as effective as body identical transdermal HRT and can cause more side effects as it's synthetic😂

I will ask for a topical oestragen cream when i see her next week in case i do need it but ive really had no problems in the sex OR orgasm department No soreness during sex. . And ive already experienced what happens when trying to fix something that aint broke!

And i have an ultrasound scan and vaginal scan booked for next week so will know more then.

@JenniferBooth ok, if you don't want to listen, just trying to help. But from my experience, you're in the early stages of atrophy.

I would agree with this to a certain extent. I know plenty of adults who are unable to regulate their emotions and communicate effectively. Having said that, I am usually incredibly patient, I have to be as I’ve been an unpaid carers for 20 years. I can communicate effectively too.

I’ve never suffered from pmt or mood swings but perimenopause is kicking my arse. My patience is gone, I just can’t put up with the things I used too. Plus, I am far more willing to speak up, or question anyone I disagree with or suspect they are wrong. Maybe it’s my age or maybe it’s my hormones but I’m no longer willing to smile and be polite and put up with stuff women are expected to take, I actually think my behaviour is more similar to the average man now, but I probably come across as a harridan.

Yes. I was in my late 40s when we had the lockdowns and that affected a lot of people psychologically and emotionally including myself.

The term "peri" winds me up irrationally. It's "perimenopause" or "perimenopausal".

Agree a lot of women blame everything on being menopausal and often refuse to consider it could be explained by something else, such as their crap marriage, awful husband or delinquent children, not to mention various other ailments that affect the over 40s.

Personally, I could usually tell the difference between irrational red mist hormonal feelings and genuine and justifiable responses to situations. By the time we reach PM, most of us are at an age where we know ourselves and our emotions reasonably well. We know what's normal for us and what feels like an unusually intense reaction. So when we 'blame' the latter on PM, its usually because that's exactly what it is. I think the real problem lies when other people try to tell us our reasonable irritations are due to our hormones. This is a horrible form of gaslighting designed to manipulate us into being passive in the face of genuine grounds for grievance.

My perimenospause caused me to attempt suicide.

Well things change when you reach peri menopause, same as they do during your cycle, during pregnancy, at puberty.

I do agree it's not an excuse to behave like an arse and expect not to be confronted about it, efforts should be made to control and monitor it because taking it out on others isn't acceptable.

There was a thread a few months ago about a woman who was maybe in peri who was awful to service staff, by her own admission. It annoyed me that the peri was used as an excuse for how she behaved, and wasn't really seeking to change that, because as someone also in peri, but in a service job myself, it would never be tolerated the other way around. I would be expected to deal with how I felt myself, seek help, do something about it, get a different job etc etc, and it would be extremely unacceptable for me to do it, peri or not. So yeah, there's times people use it as a way to excuse behaviour they know is unacceptable. The behaviour and reason for it are the same, but it being acceptable seems to depend on who it's aimed at.

The thread you talk about is to me, just someone venting, she's not actually going around knocking caps off people's heads, she's not taking it out on other people.

There's a difference between feeling and discussing these things that give you rage when they were mildly annoying or didn't even register before and that peri menopause can cause those feelings, and using it as a get out of jail free card to abuse other people.

Of course your hormones make a difference. Are you saying all of the medical websites are wrong?

And why does it bother you so much anyway? Are you sure you aren't peri 😂

If you get it, then why would you ask such a stupid question. What would you prefer things be "blamed on"

The rest of your comments seem like hate baiting BS.

Now, go on back to being a slave to your ignorance.

it's also a bit of the ol' "women should always be so lovely and kind and nice and not annoy people" and guess what? we're human.

Even way before i went into menopause i stopped giving a shit and started behaving much more like a man (not going out of my way to "be kind") and not tolerate bullshit.

Made my life a lot better. Other people? well they had to cope.

I always got sore when bleeding on my period If thats counted as vaginal atrophy then my atrophy started when i was eleven.