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AIBU?

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AIBU to want to tell my ex friend

27 replies

KazzaBeeee · 22/09/2024 11:38

So, background: I was in a group of six women. We met at work, and even though we gradually moved on work wise we met up regularly for meals and catch ups.
there was a bit of a falling out a few years ago between me and friend A. I have reflected on this, and a lot of her behaviour, and I now realise friend A is quite toxic. The main reason for the fall out was that I’d started dating my current partner and was happy (still am), but she had decided that I should date her brother in law and wasn’t happy that I wasn’t doing so.
The group split after this, which I was devastated about. Friend A had been friends with friend B since school. Friend B obviously took her side. I tried to stay in touch with friend C, we met up a few times, but I can see on FB that she’s spending a lot of time with friend A and B, and hasn’t been keen to meet up with me, which is sad, but I accept that.

my AIBU is… I have been in contact with friend D, who has told me that friend A was having an affair with friend B’s long term bf. Friend D found out from friend A when the bf put a stop to it, and friend A wanted some sympathy from friend D.
I know I’m not in touch with them anymore, and you can say it’s nothing to do with me, but I like friend B, and I feel she is controlled by friend A. I keep putting myself in her situation, and I would definitely want to know. I know the messenger often gets the grief, but tbh if that happens it doesn’t make much difference to me.
sorry if this is a bit complicated to read, but AIBU to tell friend B that friend A was sleeping with her bf?

OP posts:
YaCannyKickYaGrannyInTheShin · 22/09/2024 11:42

Nah leave it.

This looks like one of two things.

  1. You're expecting friend B to fall into your arms and declare you're a really good friend (unlikely to happen as she chose friend A).
  2. You're gloating because she chose friend A.

Just leave it now, they are not your friends and never will be.

Whatevershallidowithmylife · 22/09/2024 11:40

I’m always on the side of telling the wronged party - whatever the reason- they have a right to know they’re being made a fool of and massively betrayed by their ‘friend’. Light the touch paper!

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