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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think sex noises sound ridiculous

119 replies

PeachyKeane · 22/09/2024 08:19

I'm in a hotel bedroom peacefully having a cup of tea. Or was.... the couple in the room next door have just started having noisy sex. And the walls are thin. Lots of huffing, puffing, moaning and groaning.

AIBU to think sex noises sound utterly ridiculous 🙄

OP posts:
GiddyRobin · 22/09/2024 16:46

UnctuousUnicorns · 22/09/2024 16:42

Perhaps it was his attempt at auto asphyxiation? 🤔

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Possibly! He certainly took it very seriously. Studiously!

GiddyRobin · 22/09/2024 16:44

Isittoolatea · 22/09/2024 16:38

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂I can’t

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The mattress was squeaky, too! 😂😂

UnctuousUnicorns · 22/09/2024 16:42

GiddyRobin · 22/09/2024 16:35

Over the top performative moaning is ick. Regular old noises of enjoyment? I'd much prefer that than silence!

Once slept with a chap who got on top, closed his eyes, pursed his lips, and pretty much held his breath for the duration. 😂 I had to end that sharpish!

Perhaps it was his attempt at auto asphyxiation? 🤔

Baroldsback · 22/09/2024 16:41

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

That sounds awful. It's the last thing i would want to do on a ferry 😂
I've heard people in hotels. Sounded performative very OTT.
I remember a thread described neighbours and someone said change the WiFi name to WE CAN ALL HEAR YOU SHAGGING. Even better changing it to your Alan Partridge nugget.

Isittoolatea · 22/09/2024 16:38

GiddyRobin · 22/09/2024 16:35

Over the top performative moaning is ick. Regular old noises of enjoyment? I'd much prefer that than silence!

Once slept with a chap who got on top, closed his eyes, pursed his lips, and pretty much held his breath for the duration. 😂 I had to end that sharpish!

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂I can’t

GiddyRobin · 22/09/2024 16:35

Over the top performative moaning is ick. Regular old noises of enjoyment? I'd much prefer that than silence!

Once slept with a chap who got on top, closed his eyes, pursed his lips, and pretty much held his breath for the duration. 😂 I had to end that sharpish!

Dachshund40 · 22/09/2024 16:34

@UnctuousUnicorns that made me laugh! I’m not massively noisy myself, but very aware that sometimes noises escape me I had no control over! I used to work in a fairly upmarket hotel when I was younger, honestly some sex noises is not the worst thing you come across in hotels

UnctuousUnicorns · 22/09/2024 16:31

Dachshund40 · 22/09/2024 16:20

wondering if all those who are saying making noise is a choice have never had the sort of sex so amazing that involuntary noises escape you

Yep, got it in one. We're all pearl clutching, dried up old frumps, tutting and making cat's bum faces in disapproval at all this joyous nocturnal exuberance.

🙄

LunaNorth · 22/09/2024 16:22

I never, ever hear this. How boring.

Dachshund40 · 22/09/2024 16:20

wondering if all those who are saying making noise is a choice have never had the sort of sex so amazing that involuntary noises escape you

BunnyLake · 22/09/2024 16:11

Happii · 22/09/2024 13:39

Have you never had sex say at the in laws, or somewhere where you've actively wanted to make a concerted effort to be quiet? Not saying people in hotels should, but there are ways to be quiet if you want to!

I have and I used to find the forced quiet sex to actually be much more intense and enjoyable . Too much noise is very distracting and I can’t help thinking it’s overcompensating.

Forced as in having to be quiet.

UnctuousUnicorns · 22/09/2024 16:10

I see this has been updated since... 😅

UnctuousUnicorns · 22/09/2024 16:09

Workhardcryharder · 22/09/2024 15:54

Maybe they just wanted to order a dominos and their partner wouldn’t stretch to the £40+?

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I took that to mean the OP was stealth bragging about referring to her own uber tight lala. I could be wrong, though. 🤷‍♀️ 😗

Ethylred · 22/09/2024 16:05

PeachyKeane · 22/09/2024 15:55

Ha ha 😂 talk about a stealth brag....

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Nothing stealthy about it. Especially as he was rather small.

BunnyLake · 22/09/2024 16:04

I can remember some year’s ago staying at a friend’s house in a very expensive area with very big posh houses. I opened my bedroom window and could here these very loud sex noises coming from a house backing on to our back garden. I remember thinking that the noises sounded ridiculous, it was mid morning and couldn’t help thinking maybe she was with the gardner or pool man while her dh was at work 😁 Really brought the tone of the posh neighbourhood down, I thought.

And like a pp said, why is it always the woman? I didn’t hear a peep from him.

Jojimoji · 22/09/2024 16:02

Ethylred · 22/09/2024 15:52

You prude. One of my treasured memories is "oh god you're so fucking tight" at top volume in a hotel from an enthusiastic and illicit partner.

I just gipped in my mouth .

Duckduckgoose24 · 22/09/2024 16:01

TheOliveGoose · 22/09/2024 09:57

I think for lots of people when you have kids/roomates/live with parents etc staying in a hotel gives them the opportunity to let loose in a way they can't at home. Everyone needs to let loose sometimes.

Absolutely this, I am that person. Chances are we'll never meet or cross paths, and if we were to pass in the hall, we're not likely to meet again. Different maybe in a small hotel.

Also, famously, some people meet in hotels, for sex! Shocking stuff.

Isittoolatea · 22/09/2024 15:59

rubyrubyrubyrubymurray · 22/09/2024 15:56

@Isittoolatea it got to the stage where we were naming them Rod, Jane and Freddie and working out which one was doing what. I've just said to my DH do you remember them and he said 'FFS I don't think I'll ever forget that!'

😂😂😂😂😂😂 which one was the most enthusiastic? I’m putting my money on Rod

rubyrubyrubyrubymurray · 22/09/2024 15:56

@Isittoolatea it got to the stage where we were naming them Rod, Jane and Freddie and working out which one was doing what. I've just said to my DH do you remember them and he said 'FFS I don't think I'll ever forget that!'

Original poster
PeachyKeane · 22/09/2024 15:55

Workhardcryharder · 22/09/2024 15:54

Maybe they just wanted to order a dominos and their partner wouldn’t stretch to the £40+?

Show quote history

Ha ha 😂 talk about a stealth brag....

OP posts:
Original poster
PeachyKeane · 22/09/2024 15:54

It just sounded so silly, not really bring prudish as I love sex. 9am with my peaceful cup of tea and hearing his daft noises just made me laugh 😀

OP posts:
ScottBakula · 22/09/2024 15:54

The child in me loves it when I come across the post with a appropriate number of post 🤪 .

I agree with pp , record it and play it back , or if you are feeling brave a round of applause when they finish.

To think sex noises sound ridiculous
Workhardcryharder · 22/09/2024 15:54

Ethylred · 22/09/2024 15:52

You prude. One of my treasured memories is "oh god you're so fucking tight" at top volume in a hotel from an enthusiastic and illicit partner.

Maybe they just wanted to order a dominos and their partner wouldn’t stretch to the £40+?

Workhardcryharder · 22/09/2024 15:53

EveryKneeShallBow · 22/09/2024 08:57

My late husband used to fast forward the sex scenes in tv shows (Game of Thrones became a mini-series, lol). But that made it worse, it’s ridiculous watching folk have sex in fast forward 🫨

I thought that said “fast forward TO the sex scenes” originally and was thinking, that’s a bit mean outing her poor late husband like that 😂

Ethylred · 22/09/2024 15:52

You prude. One of my treasured memories is "oh god you're so fucking tight" at top volume in a hotel from an enthusiastic and illicit partner.