Negativity around boys from mums of girls

I think it’s mostly women who feel they will relate to girls better and possibly be closer to them in the future. I would imagine just as many men have a preference for sons but are perhaps not as vocal about it online. I have no preference personally. I longed for a baby for years before I had one and I was just happy my little boy was born healthy. I would love to have a daughter someday but equally I would love another little boy. If I had a slight preference either way it would probably be for another son as I think it would be lovely for my son to have a brother but like I said I don’t really mind. People just need to be grateful for and cherish the children that they have. Some people aren’t able to have any.

I have a girl and have already gotten comments if this is a boy I must go again to "give DD a little sister". I think pregnancy and babies is one area that people just say the most unfiltered, insulting comments without really thinking about what they are saying.

Talk about tone deaf

I have three boys. Was disappointed second wasn’t a girl, I’m really close to my mum and wanted that for myself. But it soon wore off. Had number three as felt not done and broody. Couldn’t have cared less another boy and never cared since, they are the best of friends and I’ve loved my sporting life with them. I just look at them as my children … not boy/girl.

I have a boy. I must be in the minority in that i actually wanted a boy rather than girl. I'm pregnant with my second child and I'm hoping that this one is a boy too. I've found at toddler groups that mums of girls, tend to gravitate together and look on in pity at me with my child.

I do get why people have gender disappointment and I'll add that I did. When I found out about DD I was very much of the opinion what do I do with one of those. I'm stereotypically not girly and was worried about how we would relate to each other especially as we were planning to be one and done. By the end of the pregnancy I'd warmed to her and I couldn't have cared less to what she was. She's absolutely perfect at 5 and I love the bones off her, we have a fab relationship. When I was expecting DS we never found out with him. We would have been happy for another girl and when he was born we looked at each other and said what do we do with a boy ha! With one of each we get the "nawww you have the perfect family". Hell no it honestly doesn't matter we would have been happy with 2 girls, 2 boys or as we have.

Weirdly all of my family is girls (2 boys out of 17 kids) so when DD was announced everyone was so chuffed because for us it was the norm. When DS was announced it was "poor boy to be absolutely outnumbered by all of us" DS loves it though as he has all of the girls to pick flowers for and have cuddles with.

Vile creature, that turned my stomach. How can you call that evil thing your friend?

Yeah it's sad. A lovely parent was expecting her third boy. The parents said people say were you trying for a girl this time and they said we're happy with boys. But how ridiculous they ended up feeling they had to say that. It never occurred to me.

Ah me too! X

I dont think people actually stop and think before they speak.

I've got a daughter, and we aren't having any more. The comments about how lonely and spoilt she will be bring me close to tears some days.

Enjoy your lovely boys and ignore them.

Every day?? Really?
Do you see everything through the lens of gender stereotypes?
Is every day a fiesta of frilly pink in your home?

I have a young adult son and daughter. They are fabulous in different ways, though I have a better relationship currently with the boy as my daughter is going through some stuff right now and can be quite irritable. But the way I feel about them has nothing at all to do their gender.

How strange to thank your lucky stars every day. What makes you think you wouldn’t be able to raise a boy?

There's a lot of pressure on the second baby's gender I've noticed. I had people saying 'if you have another boy you should keep trying for a girl' as though a boy would be disappointing. It's all very odd. Just be glad you don't feel like that and tell everyone you're not finding out the gender until birth. That way you avoid most of the commentary!

I have boys, late teens now. Funnily enough, I was only out clothes shopping with my youngest ds yesterday when I told him that people said that I wouldn’t have anyone to do that with, not having a daughter! My boys love shopping. I have never felt that I missed out on anything, boys are wonderful at every stage and now they tower over me, so handsome and I’m just in awe of them! I can’t imagine and wouldn't want life any other way (but obviously if I’d had daughters I would have said the same thing).

Ignore the negativity, I promise you will love having boys.

It just sounds like someone had an opinion and those who shared it commented. I wouldn’t comment on there because it makes no sense to me and though I secretly thought oh it would be nice to have a… it never would have been a big deal.

I have only come across one person in my life who voiced their need to have a baby boy. To the point they cried when each time it was a girl!

I agree but it’s also completely fine to have a pink loving ballet obsessed DD and a tractor obsessed fireman Sam loving DS <side eyes own child>

There’s certainly often a lot on MN about teen girls almost inevitably being a nightmare, which really does irritate me. It’s certainly not inevitable - our two never were.

congrations op! I also have two boys! I love them to bits they are my life and joy! I wouldn’t change them for the world. Each have their own personalities and each one gorgeous!

Gender stereotyping is ridiculous and quite negative. My football playing DD has a delightful girlfriend.

I’ve got one of each and yes I feel very lucky. I do still wonder what our family would have looked like with 2 the same. But then I wonder what it would have looked like with 3. And sometimes (shhhhh) what it would have looked like with 1 😳😂

I think women with two children, one of each sex are probably unique in that it seems to be the ONLY combination that doesn’t get negatively remarked on.

but actually I’m one of a boy/girl combo and a little part of me would have loved to have watched a same-sex sibling dynamic up close.

When I was expecting my second girl my mother asked me if I was disappointed. I was so annoyed by that. I had three girls then the fourth was a boy. Everyone was so happy and 'thank goodness' about that. I really didn't care. My DH really didn't care. Four girls would have been fine (as would four boys have been). At least after that no-one really cared what the next two were.

I don't know why people have to justify why they love their boys. They're always saying things like "he's so easy" or "he's so loving"
You're allowed to love them even if theyre difficult and moody.
To raise children is a huge challenge so it's important to put the effort in to do it well. Parent the child you have, love them, give them good self esteem and hopefully, they'll grow to be amazing wonderful adults. It really doesn't matter if they're bots or girls. Humanity needs both.

@YaWeeFurryBastard it was specifically the blue eyed blonde hair thing … not wanting to berate as I know she didn’t mean it that way but it’s got connotations with recentish history where people with that colouring were seen as superior and I did wince a bit when I read it.

That aside I do understand that it’s upsetting when people make stupid comments but I think it has the potential to upset when it’s a sore point for you. I didn’t find out the sex with my second, in the main because I did have a preference, and people showing enthusiasm for a girl made me feel it would be a huge anti climax if she’d been a boy. But the truth is it just is that way, in the UK at least: baby girls are more valued and dare I say monetised than boys. That’s awful but it’s nothing to do with me or my family and so all I say is I have a boy and a girl who are loved and cherished, just as they would be if they were two boys.

I also agree with this, I’ve seen quite a lot of girl bashing on gender threads about how girls are bitchy, a nightmare, not close to their mums etc etc. I personally don’t think this is gender dependent and is more to do with the individual child. The two most “nightmare” children I know are both boys FWIW. I know well behaved and difficult children of both sexes.

I think much depends on what your own world looks like before the child arrived. I was involved in what would typically be consider more likely to be male orientated activities prior to DC being born so I was thrilled when I found out I was having a DS.

My life has always been more about football than fairies!

So many vile people out there putting on social media that they are disappointed over a boy or a girl. They're damaging children even before they're born. So depressing.

Congrats on your pregnancy op! 😊