Negativity around boys from mums of girls

This happens in both directions. Mums of boys saying they're glad they don't have to deal with bitchy girls or that they're glad their husbands get to raise a son. It's gender stereotypes and it is bullshit.

However, I bet the smug mums of girls would have been smug mums of boys if they'd had boys instead, and vice versa.

The blue eyed blond posts are AI surely? Ridiculous. My 4 boys have brown hair and green or brown eyes .... I still got the pitying looks, how do you cope, boys are so boisterous, dirty etc comments from mothers with multiple girls. Anecdotal but I'll let you guess whose kids caused most drama in the teenage years ...

I’m not “clutching at straws” , what straws and why would I be clutching them? My toes did genuinely curl at that part of your OP.

Also- why is it ok for you to state you are over joyed / happy that you had “the blonde haired blue eyed boy [you] always saw in [your] mind when [you] pictured him” , and you would love to have him ten times over, but it’s not ok to be happy about having the little girl someone might have pictured in their mind when thinking of their future child?

Why if someone says they are so happy they had girls - that implies they are ignorant , wouldn’t love a boy just the same, and that they are a sexist. But you can talk about the “blond haired blue eyed boy” you always pictured - and having him 10 times over- and it’s totally ok and obvious that this has nothing to do with race and obviously you would still love your child if they were ginger? Makes no sense.

I have one fantastic son and I'm currently pregnant with number 2, I would be absolutely delighted and extremely lucky if I was to have another boy - I think I'll get snappy with anyone who tries to say otherwise!

Born perfect blue eyed blonde

This is now being downright provocative.

Congratulations.
Don't let the negative posts get you down.
I had two girls.
My eldest now has 3 teenage boys.
Born perfect blue eyed blonde.
Age 19 17 and 16. They are the most kind caring boys anyone could wish for.
Eldest and youngest ( ASD) home educated but eldest now at Uni( lives at home).
Middle one just started college ( A Levels).
They adore me their Granny and would do anything for me.
Never been in trouble.
Daughter brought them up on her own.. with my help and a whole amount of her wonderful friends.
She has now gone back to work full time.
They help with the cleaning/ washing.. keep their rooms tidy.
Look after the 3 cats.
Buy her presents for no reason .
I feel well blessed.
I honestly think her boys were easier than she was lol.

Get used to it OP. I have 4 boys, all teens now, and its like this constantly all the way from some (not all) mothers of girls. Its quite amusing when they have a 3rd or 4th and its a boy.

@mills8 i get that and I think everyone does, it doesn’t mean it doesn’t read a bit uncomfortably.

Agreed. Interestingly I only see preference for girls expressed online. In real life I know men who've expressed a strong preference for boys, and it's always laughed off as "Oh he's just being honest".

Are we really saying that as many men as women visit their parents regularly, take on care of elderly relatives, even care for grandchildren?

But that is yet another stereotype "Women tend to be closer to their families than men". Genuinely not what I see in my family, my husband's family, the families of my friends. I don't actually know anyone where it's the case.
I'm not saying there aren't differences between men and women but personality is far more important in terms of family relationships.

@Notmollybutdolly I presumed it meant that OP imagined a child to be like this because this is how herself and partner look. I presume everyone imagines a fantasy baby to be in their own image or their partners.

Congratulations!

I think there is a growing feeling around having boys because, as women, we have become so aware of toxic masculinity, sexism etc etc, so perhaps there is an element of 'another man in the world'. However we can all try to bring our sons up to understanding their role, to be respectful, call out sexism, and not be part of toxic masculinity/entitlement.

Thanks utter nonsense as a high earner myself.

I don't understand why people say there is no difference between boys and girls in threads like this, but from other threads people clearly think there is a difference between men and women and the relationship with daughters/sons - as PP have said, the MIL hate, the anti-men sentiment ect.

I don't know of anyone who has a gender preference because of stereotypical football/ballet reasons. It's more based on who the child will become as an adult. I see it on here and in real life that women tend to be closer to their families than men

MN loves to hate on men, then gets outraged that someone might lean towards wanting a girl

I kind of meant that they wouldn’t look like us at all - ie that they certainly weren’t my husbands. Although clumsy comment to be fair because we have had a couple red heads crop into the mix for cousins! But yes, every single one of the cousins on my husbands side and on mine bar two red heads are vvv blonde!

Why would you be disappointed just out of curiosity? This makes less sense to me than gender disappointment…

I mean I’d be pretty surprised and probably a little disappointed if mine weren’t blonde hair blue eyes looking at my husband and I 😂. But yes, it is a little strange to comment on it!

Yeh I noticed that 😬. It made my toes curl a bit.

I’ve** heard this too

Yeah. All those poor brown eyes boys or brown haired or ginger clearly. And let’s not get started on race because I don’t know many blonde haired blue eyed Afrikaans

feedback from people that it was ideal to have their first child be a boy but much less ideal that their second children were also boys.

Yes, it be heard this too. But it’s because if there was a Venn diagram of a) people who might have “gender” disappointment and b) people who say gendered bullshit like “I want a boy first then a girl so her big brother can look after her 😍” there’d probably be a bit of an overlap.

My DD can perfectly handle herself without a big brother. 😂

Only read the first page but is no one else picking up on ‘blonde haired blue eyed boy’????
sorry what?

This is ridiculous. So many people feel strongly about this. It doesn’t mean they don’t love their children that they bring into the world as much as any other parent, but the grief of never having the little girl or boy you imagined is also real. Now you are telling these parents they shouldn’t have had children at all! 🤦🏼‍♀️ Give your head a wobble please.