Negativity around boys from mums of girls

This is really going to depend on whether your first boy is a delight or a nightmare lol. It sounds like your first child is wonderful. Im not surprised you are excited to have another child who is hopefully similar.

For some women they have extremely physical boys who are a challenge to parent. I suspect those parents are probably hoping for a girl who wants to sit and colour for hours.

''Didn't really do boys in the house?''
^^
That's actually insane.

What does she think boys are like?
That they'll cock their legs and wee on the floor?

We once had a neighbour who would lead her horse through the house {Terraced} into her back garden-

I used to wonder about him lifting his tail, but he never did, plus his weight on the floors.

I might not do horses in the house, but boys?

Is it the enormous dislike of the male gender on MN maybe, people disliking baby boys because they will grow to be men?

This exactly was my thought process.

I think she was just highlighting it as an example for the general discussion. But I see how it got misconstrued.

there’s nothing wrong with what you said imo, but there seems to be a double standard on this thread if you say the same about having a girl ..

@StampOnTheGround I was asking the general thread, not you specifically. Apologies if you felt I was having a go. I wasn't

@mills8 Our first child was {is} a boy - a lovely, easy smiling good natured child -{With a few moments in teen years!} the health visitors at the baby clinic said ''Don't have another, you won't get one as easy as this!'' - I was so afraid of having a 'difficult' child we stuck at one.

Even with the same parents, characters of children can be very different.

It's the character that matters, not the sex.

@PiggleToes - I'm not interested in what others had said though, I was just responding to the OP - I had no reason to read others. my first comment actually was going to finish with

'But id be equally as delighted with a girl'

But then thought, that isn't relevant to this point of this thread as we are just talking about boys so took it away.

Then she did have a go by saying

'But why is this comment deemed ok but the woman who said she felt lucky to have 2 girls was torn to shreds? There have been so many comments on here from mothers with all boys about how much they love it, and how happy they are and they have been fine too. I'm confused! 🙈😅'

That was in response to my comment personally, therefore having a go at me.

Haha, that’s brilliant.

One day a group of us were meant to meet in the park. However it started raining really heavily so one of the mums (a most definite SMOG) invited the two girls in the group (who were my son’s best friends) round to her house to do craft with her daughters. But didn’t invite the two boys as apparently she doesn’t ‘really do boys in house’. I was gobsmacked.

The irony being that my son loves art and his female best friend didn’t want to go and do craft as she’d rather play football. Bless these mums and their little twee stereotypes.

She wasn’t having a go at you. She was pointing out that when other pp’s say similar about their female children they are told off (including by the OP), but they let exactly the same statement pass when it’s about a boy.

Quite possibly. But you can't comment on what goes on outside of school, at parties, in the family etc as you only see children at school. And I said clearly that my experience was anecdotal. So thinking of famillies from primary school, the ones with school refusal issues at secondary school (3 famillies I know) and the ones with eating issues (2 that I know) the 2 that have had their children bought home by the police and the 2 famillies where the child ran away, one to a different city, and to an entirely different country in the other, are all famillies (seperate) with either 2, 3 or 4 girls.

The point is people shouldn't be making these generalisations about little girls being quiet and well behaved etc as its patronising and infantilising and all children, particularly teenagers, will have issues and struggles and things they have to get through and pretemding one type is perfect at the beginning just makes it harder.

DS1 is now nearly 40 and his brother 37 and I had exactly this all those years ago from people in general, but annoyingly also from my own family.

My grandfather wanted to know why I had had another boy - I should have had a girl (talking to my mother thank goodness, not me). My maternal uncle, again talking to my poor Mum, was astonished I had had a boy first. When asked why, he said because my mother had had me first. When she pointed out that his own mother had had him first, he was bemused. When I had DS2 he asked me what on earth I would do when they were 13 and 15. I told him I didn't think I could send them back.

When I was expecting DS2 a (to me then) old man got chatting to me and said he hoped I would have a girl because he had had 2 grandaughters and wouldn't want a boy because girls were smarter generally. I met him later round the shops whilst pushing the pram and he couldn't bring himself to congratulate me, just asked if I was well. Thinking about him now, I think he really would have liked a grandson too.

Oh there were LOADS of comments - from other mothers with children the same age, from their mothers, from friends who didn't have children, from colleagues. I was a bit bewildered at first but eventually I found my temper and put a few of them right.

One person who never did this though was my friend who had two girls - we were both happy to have healthy children and would have been just as happy if our situations had been reversed.

I am just so sorry it is still happening. I have a fairly distant family member with 2 little boys, I had hoped they wouldn't have experienced this sort of thing, but reading through this thread I expect they have.

@PreggersWithBaby2 I didn't respond to another poster just the OP (who did mention a woman being disappointed with a son) so I have no idea what you are talking about now 😂

How so ? This isn't my perception at all.
I have 1 of each (both adults), I think society needs to value boys and men more not less.

But nowhere did that other poster say she would hate having a boy.... 🙈

It happens with school mums. The boy mums are a group, the girl mums are a group... to a degree. Yes people do look at you like you have your hand full with boys. I don't mind, I kind of do. But also it's a stereotype, a friends girl is much more active and 'bonkers' than another friends calm quiet boy. But people love stereotypes.

My dds are 20 and 17 and have been lovely as teenagers. When they were little we got comments about how awful they'd be as teenagers.

@PreggersWithBaby2 nowhere did I say I'd hate having a girl 🙄 I would be equally happy with a girl, but that isn't the purpose of this particular thread, so would have been an unnecessary irrelevant comment.

A lot of it is to do with marketing and advertising. Girls clothes have a huge range, boys not so much. I could choose thousands of cute outfits for Halloween for DD, DS - well, if he doesn’t want to be Spider-Man there’s not much on offer.

I have a girl and a boy and they are both great, and also are very similar in many ways. I see people making smug pitying references about boys and other people doing the same about girls, and think they are just two sides of the same sexist coin. My children are now big teenagers,and the generalisations seen to have fallen away at this stage of life, but I suspect that the same people will be back in years to come, letting those same attitudes affect their relationships with grandchildren and their son or daughter in law.

I have no idea where it comes from but did experience it when I was pregnant before we found out what we were having especially from PIL & BIL! From the minute they knew I was pregnant it was “hopefully it’s a girl, we really want a girl”, “girls are so much nicer/easier” I really thought I was having a boy to the point I’d actually bought some boy clothes before finding out, my husband and I weren’t bothered at all about boy or girl, a healthy baby was literally all we wanted, but when we found out we were having a girl they were all very relieved and “thank God”! It did make us both think how sad it would have been for us & our baby if we’d had a boy and had to hear their disappointment!

It is crazy to pin so much on girl or boy, I think anyway!

But why is this comment deemed ok but the woman who said she felt lucky to have 2 girls was torn to shreds? There have been so many comments on here from mothers with all boys about how much they love it, and how happy they are and they have been fine too. I'm confused! 🙈😅

It’s an interesting phenomenon given that by the time the children are of secondary school age, boys seem to be seen as more ‘valuable’ to society.

This is obviously a generalisation and something that I dislike but I do find it strange how female babies are often considered more desirable, and yet males seem to be better respected and prioritised when it comes to opportunities and career progression.

Anecdotal but I'll let you guess whose kids caused most drama in the teenage years

As I posted, someone else just popped up to prove my point!

I don't have kids btw. I'm a teacher though and can say for pretty much certain the drama / issues / whatever is evenly shared between boys and girls during the teen years.

"It's always the mother of 2 girls with the 'I'm soo lucky I only have girls'"

I disagree. I have a friend who constantly went on about how glad she was that she had a boy. Boys are so much easier, less complicated, less bitchy, less this and that. I have a girl.