Not to invite my sister's boyfriend to my wedding

Invite him if you value your relationship with your sister. You're very unlikely to have much to do with him on the day anyway

Try to focus on your relationship and stop all this focus on her. It’s time to accept she has her relationship and likes this guy and it really isn’t your and your family’s business to talk about it between yourselves and then you being the spokesperson.

I say this from almost 15 years of my sister doing the same thing to me. She campaigned against my marriage and she and my parents gossiped behind my back.

I remember when my sister thought she was giving good advice, it took me by surprise and I brushed it off over and over again before it hit boiling point. She probably thought because I have an easy-going nature she could try to dictate something very personal for me and eventually I got sick of justifying my relationship.

I had the same concerns with my mother’s partner for my wedding last year.. he’s annoying, constantly dominates conversation and talks over others with his own negative opinions of everything and he’s a freeloader who takes advantage of everything my mum has worked her arse off since she left my dad.
She could do so much better but we’ve had those conversations with her and she doesn’t want to listen to us. I did invite him because it wasn’t worth upsetting my mum over and honestly I hardly had to deal with him on the wedding day because we had quite a big wedding (appreciate this is different to the wedding you have planned)
Also told the photographer to ensure he wasn’t in all the family photos so definitely have a word with them if you’re having one! They did it so subtly it was great.

You could do, but would you be offended if she admitted she didn’t like your partner and didn’t want to invite him to her wedding?

All the people saying invite him have no concern for it being your wedding and preserving yours and your soon to be husbands peace on that day. Not only will he (probably) ruin the day in some way, he will be on all the photos, you'll look back ( especially if she dumps him eventually) and always regret him being there.

Preserve your peace. You don't owe him anything.

Invite him.

I'd probably invite him but tell dsis that I only invited him because I love her.

I don't suppose you could choose your wedding date to conveniently clash with another unavoidable commitment he already has?!

Unless you could get away with no-ring-no-bring for the meal it it's so small and intimate? And just invite him to the later bits.

I had to invite someone I didn't like to my wedding. Luckily he declined the invitation as he doesn't like me either. Fingers crossed?!

is this boyfriend living with her? i think that makes a differene

my sis in law had a hhusband noone liked just had to put up with him till she realised what he was like

I'm sorry to say this, but you do need to think, what's the bigger emotion. Love for your sister or hatred of boyfriend. You can always be honest with her even when he's invited. Because you might as well face it, he's going to be there. What you really want is your sister to choose you over him, but she's not ready yet. She will only ever be ready when he does something to absolutely horrify her. Don't sit back and be polite if he annoys you. Just say it to his face.

You can. It’s your wedding. My sister married someone we all hated. He filed for divorce 4 days after getting his green card, then got engaged to his gf who he had been cheating on my sister with…. Then we found out he had taken loans out in my sisters name… absolute fucking scumbag but she couldn’t see it either…

He might not be the only person you dont like at your wedding . Any plus ones could be a knob. Don't fret too much about it . Most people behave in church (with luck he will have an opinion about that and won't go ). And at the meal afterwards put him on the end of a table next to your sis .

Ultimately irrelevant of what you and your family think of him your sister has chosen him as her partner. So I think it would be really unkind to expect her to be okay with you not allowing her to bring him to your wedding.

Families are tricky, you aren’t always going to get on with or approve of eachother / eachothers choices but you should still be supportive and kind to one another.

Speaking as the (ex) partner of the person in this situation, I don't think you should invite him.
My ex was like this - rude, embarrassing behaviour, etc. and my friends invited him because they felt they should (heard one of the couple saying this to friends after ex loudly and rather proudly belched around other guests before yelling "well I wasn't expecting that!").
Going on my experience, it will be annoying for you, and if your sister is anything like me, she'll be extremely embarrassed and exhausted from trying to keep him away from other guests to minimise awkward situations.

It could be awkward when you make your decision known, but stand your ground. It's your wedding, you decide who comes.
Years ago at FIL's retirement do, quite formal, MIL and FIL decided not to invite SIL's absolutely horrible boyfriend, who had made sarcastic and nasty comments about FIL's job in the past. Instead they invited MIL's brother and he partnered his niece instead. SIL was switched on enough to understand.

Not inviting him would create such a cloud and so much fallout it would ruin you day.
Everyone knows he's a knob so they'll understand why he couldn't be left out and they'll manage - perhaps the lads could watch out and educate him if he doesn't toe-the-line.

I'm afraid you'll have to invite him if you don't want to upset your sister, but surely you'll be so busy on the day you won't even have time to notice him and if it's a large wedding you can avoid him

you can not in ite him. but be prepared for her to side with him and not come.

Your day, you want as little stress as possible. if he will make your day worse by his being there, don't risk it. Will he be a dick? Will he be argumentative or rude, don't invite him, but be prepared for her to kick off and side with him.

I have been in the situation your sister is in before, and it really doesn't help when you feel like your family and friends are against you. I know that it's your wedding and you can invite whoever you like, but it will upset your sister who hasn't done anything wrong (as far as I can tell from your post).
If you want her to ultimately realise her worth and leave him, she's going to need to feel supported from all angles.
But, as I said above, it is your day and if he makes you feel uncomfortable, it's understandable you wouldn't want him there.

Do yourself a favour and invite him.
We had this with our niece, she cycled through boys like they were going out of fashion.
We didn’t even know this current guys name and said he wasn’t invited. Guess what? My husbands whole side of the family refused to come unless he was a main guest! So we unfortunately have a random guy in all our wedding photos that no one can remember and we never even bothered to find out his name either! It’s been 15 years and I’m still butt hurt over it, but to not have his family there would’ve destroyed my husband. Sometimes you have to just suck it up for the sake of your relationship x

I think you need to invite him primarily because in the long run, you don't want to alienate your Dsis.

However, I imagine your Dsis wants your wedding to be wonderful. So, if her BF starts acting up at your wedding, it might be the perfect time for her to see how awful he is...that his behavior is embarrassing your family and taking away from the bride and groom. It might show her that she's complicit in bringing him and make her reassess.

Invite him, just make sure he keeps out of the family photos!

Ask her whether she’d enjoy it more if she came on her own.

Invite your sister and a plus one, you could quietly suggest if it were someone else you wouldn’t be upset..? Difficult one.

It's your wedding, so you & DP are in charge. What does DP think about it?

If you do invite loud mouth, hire security to get rid of him when he starts performing. I can't stand people like that, so I'd happily exclude him.

Is it worth discussing your concerns with DS or even him?

I think it will hurt your sister...
I would invite for her.
That door needs to be open for when they break up.