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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think all men are like Diddy?

79 replies

Justcurioushere · 21/09/2024 18:03

With the recent (and not so recent) news surrounding Diddy, I can’t help but reflect on how his behaviour epitomises a troubling pattern I see in some men: selfishness, drama, and a complete lack of accountability (to put it lightly). It makes me wonder if this is a common attitude among men.

AIBU to think that many men, like Diddy, prioritise their own desires over the wellbeing of others? Is this something we should be more critical of, or is it just an unfortunate stereotype?

OP posts:
MissSkegness1951 · 21/09/2024 19:16

What horrors were inflicted on young Bieber?

This tale is all too familiar in Hollywood.

The African American/ P Diddy being hung out to dry after being encouraged to behave like this by the 'producers' who really run the degenerate music industry.

Coincidence ? -

Kevin Liles stepping down.
Randy Goodman retiring.
Kaz Kobayashi quits.

All bigwigs at Sony and Warner music.

The shit has hit the fan.

MinervaMcGonagallsCat · 21/09/2024 19:17

All men?

Of course YABU

cuckooooooo · 21/09/2024 19:17

No not all men are committed sexual predators! There are a lot and it's awful so many people have been victim to it but please don't tar every man with the same brush. It's unfair.

OhmygodDont · 21/09/2024 19:31

SpidersAreShitheads · 21/09/2024 18:39

Sometimes I do wonder about what would happen if you put any man in a position of significant power, control, and influence.

I don’t believe that all men would be corrupted by it, but I think an uncomfortable proportion would be. I think there is certainly some who would take full advantage and engage in predatory behaviour. More than we probably like to think.

There are wealthy and powerful women in this world but usually the worst that ever comes out is that they’re “a bitch”. There just doesn’t seem to be the same drive for them to become a sexual predator.

In all honesty though, it’s nothing that’s new - certainly not all men, but more than you’d like to think.

I think a lot of people regardless of gender would.

Just look at women feeling held back at work with women bosses or managers who don’t seem to want another women come up.

Look at say Madonna with her v v young partners. You can’t say they are genuinely attracted to a v v old women pumped full of plastics. It’s a power balance. She’s using them to feel young and ditched them once no longer her thing. Or they leave when hey realise it’s not going to go anywhere other than her ego. She is the female caprio.

poppyzbrite4 · 21/09/2024 19:33

MissSkegness1951 · 21/09/2024 19:16

What horrors were inflicted on young Bieber?

This tale is all too familiar in Hollywood.

The African American/ P Diddy being hung out to dry after being encouraged to behave like this by the 'producers' who really run the degenerate music industry.

Coincidence ? -

Kevin Liles stepping down.
Randy Goodman retiring.
Kaz Kobayashi quits.

All bigwigs at Sony and Warner music.

The shit has hit the fan.

So Diddy is actually a victim?

OhNoOhYesOhMy · 21/09/2024 19:33

No.

brentwoods · 21/09/2024 19:35

BeerForMyHorses · 21/09/2024 18:28

Erm what ?

No. Of course the majority of men are not like PDiddy.

He is an abusive, sex trafficking, groomer. Not all men are like this at all.

This. Give over OP. Your life would be a lot more pleasant if you didn't paint half the population as narcissistic sex predators. 🙄

Phase2 · 21/09/2024 19:35

So Diddy is actually a victim?

Hand maidens have found the thread .... namalt, he's a puppet, women are meanies too etc etc like men need anyone supporting them, it's almost like they aren't the more powerful sex.

Swissvisa · 21/09/2024 19:37

There are too many men like P Diddy. But it is absolutely not all men.

DryBiscuit · 21/09/2024 19:37

He has ALOT more issues than you have put

He is a wife beating sex addict, rapist pig

And this case will bring up atleast Two big names like him and MANY many more than have been in his house

Its Epstein & Giselle all over agin

This is going to be HUGE

( But its not all men…. Ofcourse it isnt !!! )

OhmygodDont · 21/09/2024 19:37

Diddy may well of been a victim at one point in his career however his chosen to become a very very big perpetrator leaving many victims in his path.

being a victim is no excuse either. Many victims or rather most victims do not go on to become perpetrators.

Bedofroses85 · 21/09/2024 19:38

YABVU

GingerPirate · 21/09/2024 19:38

HavingABitOfAMare · 21/09/2024 18:57

In what way is your husband like P Diddy?

My husband?
He is not....
He's the only man in my life, also three decades older.

OhmygodDont · 21/09/2024 19:39

GingerPirate · 21/09/2024 19:38

My husband?
He is not....
He's the only man in my life, also three decades older.

Sorry but nobody can honestly truest know not my husband not my son.

That’s why people are always shocked. Oh no not John he was a lovely chap.

GingerPirate · 21/09/2024 19:43

Oh dear....

MrsTerryPratchett · 21/09/2024 19:44

The Met Police say (in a civilised, democratic country with laws) 1 in 7 men are dangerous to women.

If you do some maths around 4% of the adult men in the area surrounding Gisele were happy to rape an unconscious drugged woman, so you know many more are raping their wives, girlfriends, friends and family members.

Up to a third of male college students would rape a woman if they could get away with it (depending on how you phrase the question).

14 year old girls are now the most likely demographic to report rape.

NAMALT but TMMALT too many men are like that. Frightening numbers. If there was a war, or civilisation broke down, a good third to a half I wouldn't trust.

You can 'not my Nigel' and 'NAMALT' all you like but a huge number of men are like P Diddy, just without the means and opportunity.

OutsideLookingOut · 21/09/2024 19:51

Remember that study about how many men would rape women if they could get away with it? And someone also mentioned the percentage of men who look at child SA, it was shocking.

I think far too many men, even your husbands, your fathers, your brothers, your sons if they had the money and power would abuse it.

CantBelieveNaive · 21/09/2024 19:52

ginasevern · 21/09/2024 18:14

Do you mean that it's nearly always men who are sexual predators, who put themselves first even before their own children, who think first and foremost with their dicks no matter what damage it causes to those that love them? Welcome to planet earth OP - where have you been?

Have you seen the ITV X doc on sexual predator Dodi. Absolutely sickening and enabled by Harrods and rank security team, the u all conspired and enabled abuse to going girls 😮😒

Jjiillkkf · 21/09/2024 19:54

I'm so sad and sorry you feel like all men are like this. I did at one point too, certainly many are monsters. But others are truly good.

SleeplessInWherever · 21/09/2024 19:55

No, all men aren’t like P Diddy.

They’re not all sexual abusers, or even abusers of any kind.

They’re not all avoiding cleaning the toilet by watching OF (?!?), and they don’t all see us as objects they should just have access to.

Some of them are just men, who are going about their lives not constantly threatening people.

Didshejustsaythatoutloud · 21/09/2024 19:59

Well that's a terrifying/depressing/hopeless/helpless thought!!!. I would hope my male dp and adult male sons are as far removed from the Diddys of the world as I am. For fs 😱

stayathomer · 21/09/2024 20:01

I don’t think most are sexual predators but actually yes I think a man is more likely to prioritise his wants and needs than a woman is, yes

Hateam · 21/09/2024 20:02

I think a very large number of men would like to be more promiscuous than they actually are.

I think quite large number to men would be unfaithful if they had the opportunity.

I think a tiny number to men are like P Diddy.

Hateam · 21/09/2024 20:04

Statements like all men are like P Diddy just make women look stupid. These women can't be taken seriously.

CantBelieveNaive · 21/09/2024 20:04

poppyzbrite4 · 21/09/2024 19:06

French feminists are calling it "the banality of male violence" which sums it up, it's become background noise.

Unfortunately it's not just these predators who are the problem, it's society. The law doesn't punish their behaviour when it's relatively minor and it escalates and gets worse.

Many men feel infallible because there are no consequences for their behaviour and they are excused with "boys will be boys".

In the case of prolific sexual predators like Savile, Weinstein, Diddy, Kelly, Epstein, Al Fayed et al everyone knew what they were doing but no one spoke out or tried to stop them.

The survivors knew they wouldn't be believed and the perpetrators thought they were above the law, because of wealth and status.

In order to prevent VAWAG no one should be above the law and we must use the law to punish any deviant sexual behaviour. I would also argue for prosecution in the case of people who knowingly collude with the perpetrator.

Edited

So well put!
I've just watched Dodi the predator and feel so bad for his young victims.
What's so sad is that powerful people are protected and its young girls who are powerless and suffer.
So sad he's dead now so won't be publicly shamed. Am glad he had the pain of losing a son to bear but it didn't stop him being an utter prick.
What has made me think though is the conspiracy theorists who said the institutions are full of abusers, rapists and child abusers were right.
At the time I thought it was very far fetched and unbelievable. That's how naive I was and probably in my 40s.
We women need to wake up and use our voices and written word to speak to the government and newspapers to turn this round.
We also need to put pressure on the legal system to penalize the perpetrators and set up a system that favours the victims and believes them, rather than the other way around instead of the victims being scared and them not getting justice.
Basically we need to step society up to value women as humans. 🤔