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AIBU?

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Do people expect ROI after paying private school fees?

212 replies

Enrew · 21/09/2024 17:29

By ROI, I mean getting into top unis/ prestigious job/ high performer in a sport etc?

I ask after a family friend spent around 120k on child's education and child dropped out of good uni course to become personal trainer/ influencer. Nothing wrong with that career choice imo but friend seems resentful/ annoyed that after spending so much money child won't be doctor/ lawyer / banker and they could have done this career regardless of where they went to school. It's as if they had expectations all along.

I have no experience of private school system myself and my DC will go to local state school but thinking about it if I was paying out thousands per year for DC to have top education, I'd probably have some extra expectations.

OP posts:
topcat2014 · 21/09/2024 17:42

Maybe darling Josh was just a bit thick

pbdr · 21/09/2024 17:41

No. I have an idea of what I want my children's experience of school to be, and the lower class sizes and better facilities/ more extracurricular opportunities that our local private school can offer fits with that. Even if I knew for certain that my children would obtain the exact same exam results and end up in the exact same job as an adult if they went to state school, I'd still want to send them to the private school. As it happens I think the local private school can give them the best possible chance of obtaining the results to be able to pursue what they want to do in life and may help to keep their options as wide as possible, but if what they want is to be a hairdresser, or a waiter, or a receptionist then that's absolutely fine by me as long as they are happy.

DancingNotDrowning · 21/09/2024 17:40

Nope not why I send my DC to private schools, although tbf the ROI so far has been good.

I want my DC to be happy, I want them to have opportunities that I didn’t have growing up, I want them to have their curiosity celebrated, I want them to to learn in a safe environment with motivated teachers who aren’t burnt out and counting down the days until they can get out. I actually want this for all DC but o can’t make that happen. I can for mine.

i suspect your friends son has been given many advantages throughout his schooling that mean it’s more likely he’ll make a success of his current plans than if he hadn’t been to private school. Even if it’s not what his parents hoped for.

redtrain123 · 21/09/2024 17:39

Must admit, I’d be a bit disappointed if they became an influencer, whatever school they went to.

if the parents spent the money, hoping their child would have better career prospects than perhaps they did, then they’re bound to be disappointed. They’ve given their child the best opportunities and it hasn’t worked out.

Maybe they put too much pressure on their dc, or he wasn’t cut out for the uni course he chose.

Enrew · 21/09/2024 17:38

unmemorableusername · 21/09/2024 17:35

Most private school parents I've met have this expectation unless they are so loaded they don't feel the fees.

This is my experience too. I know a lot of friends who sends kids to private school and expectations are clearly there whether they admit it or not. Many are making sacrifices to afford the fees

OP posts:
exprecis · 21/09/2024 17:36

I think some parents absolutely do.

I know some. And my parents definitely did.

Enrew · 21/09/2024 17:36

llamali · 21/09/2024 17:32

Urgh that attitude sucks. Kids aren't possessions. A parents role is to help them develop into the best them they can be but not to push them. It's like an archer you aim and fire the arrow you don't do the flying

I agree in principle but surely if you're giving them the very best start possible with so many doors open to them, you'd hope they'd take fullest advantage and go as far as they can ie so they'll never struggle financially , in a stimulating career etc

OP posts:
allclassics · 21/09/2024 17:36

No. Hope that helps.

Radiatorvalves · 21/09/2024 17:36

I joke about waiting for the ROI and for DSs to keep me in the style to which I wish to become accustomed. But seriously all I want is for them to fulfil their potential and be happy rounded kind men.

Hoppinggreen · 21/09/2024 17:35

Thats not why I sent my DC Private.
They are human beings not an investment opportunity.
In total it will have cost us over £100k but we have no regrets

unmemorableusername · 21/09/2024 17:35

Most private school parents I've met have this expectation unless they are so loaded they don't feel the fees.

llamali · 21/09/2024 17:32

Urgh that attitude sucks. Kids aren't possessions. A parents role is to help them develop into the best them they can be but not to push them. It's like an archer you aim and fire the arrow you don't do the flying

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