Do people expect ROI after paying private school fees?

Yeh, that sounds about right. Maybe not in the elite private schools where the kids that go there have family history going back 8 generations there or whatever, but in the regular ones mainly full of middle class children whose parents have seriously downgraded their lifestyle to afford it. My GCSE, A Level and Degree subject were heavily micromanaged and there was a huge amount of emotional blackmail on any child who chose to stray from traditional professional subjects. Nearly everyone studied medicine or law.

I had this conversation with a friend… she told me her reasons were all about the pastoral not the academic, so I asked if she’d be bothered then if her DD came out of private schools with a load of 4s. She just said straight away “that won’t happen. No one gets 4s at that school, they’re all expected to get 7+”. So I think there clearly is an expectation!

Did you go to private school?
I found that the main difference in this regard is discipline and punishment. Poor behaviour was not tolerated at my school, the naughty kids were expelled.

It’s not about sending them to private in order to ‘buy’ a place at uni though. I think most parents who send their kids to private school do so because they hope it will give them the best opportunities. By that, I mean better teaching, better teacher to pupil ratio, more time and effort taken to identify strengths and weaknesses etc. So perhaps if those children hadn’t gone to private school, they may not have achieve their uni places (all of which, especially Lancaster, are excellent unis, and being ‘packed to the rafters with state school children’ is not a reflection on anything other than the proportion of ADULTS at uni who were educated in the state vs private system).

I pay for private schooling because at this point the small class sizes are best for my child’s personality. I’ll reevaluate each year whether the school etc are still the best option. I have no expectations beyond my kid doing their best THIS school year.

I grew up in a country where there was no welfare state to fall back on and you had to be pretty self sufficient. I want my children to be able to earn enough money to be able to pay for things they need such as good health care and have skills that mean they will be able to move countries if they want to. I think people can a bit complacent sometimes.

Nope.
i sent my daughter to private school after 2 years of bullying and social isolation in her state secondary school had broken her spirit and made her a shell of her previous self.

She’s a bright kid. She would have got excellent results at her previous school and will probably get decent grades where she is. So academic success had absolutely nothing to do with our decision at all.

We’re lucky that we can just about afford to send her. It’s a squeeze, but worth absolutely every penny to see her recover back to the confident, enthusiastic child she once was.

I have been surprised by this assumption too.

Many of my friends have children in private school and they haven't found it to be bullying and disruption free at all

Some people definitely do. SIL's parents had way more input than was healthy into their children's university course and even their career plans.

It was very much understood that only certain universities, courses and careers were acceptable in return for the eye-watering cost of their education.

All 4 siblings rebelled eventually, and all are now happy (mostly). None work in any of the acceptable professions and two don't have degrees as they dropped out of courses they had no real interest in.

For those hoping that private school produces well rounded individuals - why would you expect that mixing with only privileged children would do that?

Also, there are issues with bullying etc. in private schools just as there are in state schools, they’re possibly just better at covering it up!

The kids didn’t ask to go though. It’s often parents who make these decisions and it’s not always a good decision.

He got onto a 'good uni course'.

If you view private school as there to set children on a great academic path (as many parents do) they delivered.

this ^

Mine are on route for private secondary school. The local high schools are not a good option IMO, over subscribed, horrendous for bullying and large intakes.

I would rather pay, sacrifice things for them, and give them all the tools they need to progress

I hoped mine would go to Uni because I didn't, but it wasn't my expectation. I wasn't bothered which one though.

Whats ROI

This thread helped me unpack some of my thoughts on this.

Ours are in state primary but we might consider private secondary.

I don't think I would consider it if I didn't think our children were bright (I am not yet sure if this isn't the case) and going to a private school would help boost their chances of good results and have a good career.

I think part of that is that I think if they turn out to be average or below average academically, I think the best thing I can do for them is save the £150k or so private secondary would cost me and give it to them to help them have financial security as adults.

Our children are not in school yet and i suspect we won’t send them private, although it would be an option. I would imagine that some parents (the aspiring middle classes) absolutely do hope for a ROI. I expect the family money brigade don’t think about it too much, it’s just ‘what you do’.

despite being high earners our children don’t /wont have the luxury of studying fine art…

There are far worse degrees than Fine Art. I know someone who’s just got an exceptional first in Fine Art and is about to start a PhD having skipped a masters. If one of your children is a talented artist why would you deny them the opportunity to develop their talent?

I have a ds who was failing at state comp, we’re a little different in that we have moved one child to private for a short period (y9-11), it is a sacrifice and I don’t expect a ROI, but I do expect him to get that, I think at state in bottom sets it was unlikely he’d get grades for level 3 at post-16, and while that may not have been the end of the world, I think it would have set him back years in terms of finding a career that afforded him some sort financial security.

I expect him in small classes without so much distraction to buckle down and get some reasonable gcse grades. I’m not expecting him to go off to a top uni or get a career in medicine or anything. Just have reasonable options for year 12-13. I do get annoyed with him if he doesn’t get a reasonable report each term, because he knows it’s a waste of an expensive opportunity.

it’s been a bit of a culture shock, we’re a year in and going from being able to avoid work and focus on entertaining the class, to a school with much less social drama where he can’t get away with avoiding work has been a mixed blessing for him I think. But he is on board, he understands the deal and I think it will be worth the ‘investment’. We’re incredibly lucky to be in the position to pay school fees.

I think there’s a misperception that people choose private schools to get top grades or to access a particular career path.

Every school is different. We chose our prep school, because the pastoral care is excellent and so are the facilities. Also, the customer service is great. If I ask a question or want to see their teacher/headteacher, they respond very quickly. Accessibility for us (as parents) is important, as is the variety and availability of wrap around care.

We don’t mind if our DC go to university or not (so many people go to university nowadays, a degree isn’t a particularly impressive attainment). Perhaps they will decide to become entrepreneurs or do an apprenticeship. Hopefully they’ll be gainfully employed/generating their own income somehow 😂

The main thing is that they’re happy and have had lots of opportunities to explore subjects/activities they like.

No, it never crossed our minds. We wanted a school that our dc would be happy in and where they would have as many opportunities as possible. In the future I want them to do whatever they are best at and are happiest doing, and for many sectors that might not be the best paid. We are fortunate that we don't need to worry much about the cost so we don't think too hard about whether it's worth it - the dcs are happy so we're happy and there's no need to analyse further than that.

My cousin is he same age as me. My grandparents spent years telling my parents they should send us to private school (not that they could afford it).
My cousin went to Eton, which they were very pleased with. I have to confess to be very smug when I absolutely smashed my exams and he got 3 C's at ALevel.
He was horribly conceited and snobby as a child.
I often wonder what his parents thought of spending all that money.

No. DD because she'd been overlooked in state, and had a passion for classics/ancient history which wouldn't have been offered at the state school options available to her. She's now at a good university studying a related degree.

DS is autistic and would unlikely have been able to cope at state. Small class sizes and personal attention has meant he's hoping to go to Uni - when he left state we weren't even sure he'd be able to stay in mainstream education.

Those are my reasons, are they ok?

There’s so much more to private school than the university or job they end up doing. It’s also about social confidence and networking.