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Positive HPV smear…cheating husband?

112 replies

BananaHamock · 21/09/2024 17:11

Hi all. So, I’ve just received smear results and they show I’m positive for HPV (and have cell changes…) Besides spiralling at needing a colposcopy, I’m now desperate to hear how you can get HPV without intercourse/skin to skin contact.

Dr. Google seems pretty insistent that’s the only way. So is the only conclusion my husbands playing away?

OP posts:
Jollein · 21/09/2024 17:52

I had a positive HPV a couple of years ago which appeared after a pregnancy and childbirth. I've been with DH 14 year and I'm as sure as anyone can be that he hasn't cheated. It was just dormant and came to the surface probably due to the pregnancy.

The difference is though that I have no reason to doubt my husband and I've never felt like he was cheating or going to cheat.

I would get a full test for STIs etc too just to be on the safe side.

Derwent01 · 21/09/2024 17:51

Human Papillomavirus (HPV) is primarily transmitted through skin-to-skin contact, especially during sexual activities. However, it is possible to contract HPV through less direct forms of transmission, although these routes are far less common. Here are several ways one might potentially get HPV without intercourse or direct skin-to-skin contact:

  1. Contaminated Objects (Fomites)
HPV can survive on surfaces for a short period, leading to the potential, though rare, risk of transmission via objects. For example:
  • Shared personal items: HPV could, in theory, be transmitted through items like razors or towels, particularly if they have come into contact with an infected area of the body.
  • Sex toys: Even without direct sexual contact, using contaminated sex toys could potentially spread the virus.
  1. Vertical Transmission (Mother to Baby)
A pregnant woman with an active HPV infection can pass the virus to her baby during childbirth. This form of transmission can cause respiratory papillomatosis, where warts form in the baby's airway.
  1. Non-Genital Contact with Infected Areas
Although HPV is often associated with genital warts, it can infect other parts of the body, such as the hands or throat. Therefore, non-sexual skin-to-skin contact with an infected person's non-genital skin, such as their hands or mouth, could theoretically spread the virus.
  1. Transmission via Oral or Oropharyngeal Contact
HPV can infect the mouth and throat, and while oral HPV is often linked to oral sex, it might also be transmitted through other forms of mouth-to-mouth or object contact, such as kissing or sharing utensils, though this is rare.
  1. Public Spaces (Low Risk but Possible)
HPV is not typically classified as a virus that spreads easily in public environments. However, there is a very low but possible risk of contracting HPV in public areas, such as locker rooms, if an individual has open sores or compromised skin barriers.
  1. Asymptomatic Shedding
HPV can be shed by infected individuals who show no visible signs of infection, like warts or lesions. This increases the possibility of undetected transmission in seemingly non-sexual situations. Conclusion While HPV transmission without direct sexual or skin-to-skin contact is uncommon, it is possible through indirect routes such as contaminated objects, mother-to-child transmission, or non-genital skin contact. Prevention strategies like vaccination and practicing good hygiene with personal items can significantly reduce the risk of HPV transmission in these scenarios.
BirthdayRainbow · 21/09/2024 17:50

RethinkingLife · 21/09/2024 17:49

Transitory immune system changes, hormone changes (pregnancy, peri-menopause, menopause), a number of things.

www.jostrust.org.uk/information/hpv/faqs#

news.cancerresearchuk.org/2021/06/16/lets-talk-about-hpv-6-common-questions-answered/

Thank you. I did post on there but couldn't really get what I needed.

BirthdayRainbow · 21/09/2024 17:50

I think I'm more confused than before. I don't really want to post all my business but I would really like to understand more.

RethinkingLife · 21/09/2024 17:49

BirthdayRainbow · 21/09/2024 17:26

Thank you.

Do You know what activates it or is everything just a coincidence?

Transitory immune system changes, hormone changes (pregnancy, peri-menopause, menopause), a number of things.

www.jostrust.org.uk/information/hpv/faqs#

news.cancerresearchuk.org/2021/06/16/lets-talk-about-hpv-6-common-questions-answered/

DysonSphere · 21/09/2024 17:47

Commonsense22 · 21/09/2024 17:43

OP, I tested positive BEFORE I became remotely sexually active. This happens more often than the medical establishment likes to admit.

The know-it-alls on here who tow the nhs line will jump in to scoff at this but no, it's not just an std. Who knows how? Public toilets?
I have heard this is also more likely to occur if you're immuno deficient (I am)

Honestly like many things, they just prefer to keep this from the public and have purposely never done any serious research on the matter.

Edited

I mean I'm sure I've read some random article in the past that has suggested you can even contract it from your mothers birth canal at birth. I do not remember where I read it and only remember being quite surprised at the info. So whether it's true I cannot ascertain with certainty.

DrunkTinkerbell40s · 21/09/2024 17:46

As others have said, it can lie dormant for years.
My husband and I were both virgins when we got together, but we had had sexual interactions with others before. My doc says I still need to have smear tests because it could lie dormant in either of us because we had done stuff ;-) so it's not just full blown sex that can cause it to pass on x

LostTheMarble · 21/09/2024 17:45

BananaHamock · 21/09/2024 17:41

Haha…you could say so. Lockdown made something flip in him and a previously perfect marriage went to 💩. Caught him going to meet another woman while telling me he was meeting friends, though he’s still insistent it was completely innocent. We’ve had a very rough few years but I thought we were getting there and are now trying for a baby. But if he did actually cheat, I don’t know if I’d be able/want to…which is why where/how the HPV has come from is so important. I don’t want to loose my shit at him yet without a better understanding

Oh god. So you’ve had a positive HPV result and he was caught meeting other women? It may be two and two makes five but I’m not sure this is a man to commit to making a baby with.

Commonsense22 · 21/09/2024 17:43

BananaHamock · 21/09/2024 17:11

Hi all. So, I’ve just received smear results and they show I’m positive for HPV (and have cell changes…) Besides spiralling at needing a colposcopy, I’m now desperate to hear how you can get HPV without intercourse/skin to skin contact.

Dr. Google seems pretty insistent that’s the only way. So is the only conclusion my husbands playing away?

OP, I tested positive BEFORE I became remotely sexually active. This happens more often than the medical establishment likes to admit.

The know-it-alls on here who tow the nhs line will jump in to scoff at this but no, it's not just an std. Who knows how? Public toilets?
I have heard this is also more likely to occur if you're immuno deficient (I am)

Honestly like many things, they just prefer to keep this from the public and have purposely never done any serious research on the matter.

BananaHamock · 21/09/2024 17:41

BeerForMyHorses · 21/09/2024 17:30

I wouldn't blow up your life over this. Do you have any other reason to think he cheated ?

Haha…you could say so. Lockdown made something flip in him and a previously perfect marriage went to 💩. Caught him going to meet another woman while telling me he was meeting friends, though he’s still insistent it was completely innocent. We’ve had a very rough few years but I thought we were getting there and are now trying for a baby. But if he did actually cheat, I don’t know if I’d be able/want to…which is why where/how the HPV has come from is so important. I don’t want to loose my shit at him yet without a better understanding

OP posts:
sunsetsandboardwalks · 21/09/2024 17:39

DysonSphere · 21/09/2024 17:36

Is it better that they looked for cell changes as opposed to now just checking for HPV?

So could women be suffering anxiety unnecessarily as opposed to the past when you knew bugger about having HPV and only concerned yourself with cell changes?

Just wondering.

The reason they only check for changes if you have HPV is because something like 97% of cervical cancers are caused by HPV. So if you don't have it, the chances of you having any changes are virtually zero.

But there is an argument that some people do get cancer without having HPV, and this way could potentially miss those people.

BananaHamock · 21/09/2024 17:38

Haha…you could say so. Lockdown made something flip in him and a previously perfect marriage went to 💩. Caught him going to meet another woman while telling me he was meeting friends, though he’s still insistent it was completely innocent. We’ve had a very rough few years but I thought we were getting there and are now trying for a baby. But if he did actually cheat, I don’t know if I’d be able/want to…which is why where/how the HPV has come from is so important. I don’t want to loose my shit at him yet without a better understanding

OP posts:
DysonSphere · 21/09/2024 17:36

dementedpixie · 21/09/2024 17:25

Also its only recently they started testing for hpv at all so in the past they just looked for cell changes. They only check for cell changes now if hpv is found in the sample.

Is it better that they looked for cell changes as opposed to now just checking for HPV?

So could women be suffering anxiety unnecessarily as opposed to the past when you knew bugger about having HPV and only concerned yourself with cell changes?

Just wondering.

LostTheMarble · 21/09/2024 17:36

Same thing happened to me op. Had a positive result despite only having been with my partner at the time for almost 13 years. But I did have sexual partners previously, so i tentatively took it as a very dormant virus. In my case it would be irrelevant really if he’d cheated as I left for other reasons but it’s still a bit 🤨 to me that it popped up in the death throes of our relationship.

BeerForMyHorses · 21/09/2024 17:30

I wouldn't blow up your life over this. Do you have any other reason to think he cheated ?

BirthdayRainbow · 21/09/2024 17:30

A shit couple of years might work !

dementedpixie · 21/09/2024 17:29

Looks like hpv was tested for routinely in England from 2019 and Scotland from 2020 so before that it was just cell changes that were looked for

sunsetsandboardwalks · 21/09/2024 17:28

BirthdayRainbow · 21/09/2024 17:26

Thank you.

Do You know what activates it or is everything just a coincidence?

They're still researching it, but they think it could be caused by a low immune system or hormonal changes. Or possibly just one of those things!

It's why it's so important to get your smears even if you've never changed partner, as HPV can show up at anytime and cause changes to your cells.

BirthdayRainbow · 21/09/2024 17:26

sunsetsandboardwalks · 21/09/2024 17:23

I'm confused as I have regular smear, every three years I think.

It doesn't matter - HPV can lay dormant for years, and it only shows on smears when it's "active". It's not an STD in the sense that chlamydia is.

Thank you.

Do You know what activates it or is everything just a coincidence?

dementedpixie · 21/09/2024 17:25

Also its only recently they started testing for hpv at all so in the past they just looked for cell changes. They only check for cell changes now if hpv is found in the sample.

sunsetsandboardwalks · 21/09/2024 17:23

I'm confused as I have regular smear, every three years I think.

It doesn't matter - HPV can lay dormant for years, and it only shows on smears when it's "active". It's not an STD in the sense that chlamydia is.

poetryandwine · 21/09/2024 17:22

BananaHamock · 21/09/2024 17:16

Been together 15 years, married 10, I lost my virginity to him. I’ve had multiple smears during this time. Would it not have shown up in one of those?

There has to be a first time. Sounds like this is it.

Unless DH was also a virgin when you first got together and had also never participated in oral sex, you can’t draw any conclusions. Given your own virginity I understand that this is a bit disconcerting, however

dementedpixie · 21/09/2024 17:22

I've been with dh for about 30 years and had a positive hpv test last year after never having a positive test before. It can lie dormant and doesn't mean anyone is cheating. When I had a retest this year there was no hpv found as my body had cleared it. Maybe you've had it before but it wasn't detected and subsequently cleared as there are several years between smear tests.

BirthdayRainbow · 21/09/2024 17:21

I also had a positive test after years of being fine. H did have an affair. I channeled MN and sent him straight to the clinic. We are now divorced nine years later. Doctor said I didn't need to look at my husband. Someone said it could have been because I slept with someone. Also, it could just be that they test it now. I'm confused as I have regular smear, every three years I think.