Friend picking on me on holiday and I snapped

You do realise that when she sees your other friends from the group chat she's going to be telling them you went weird on her and ruined the holiday, don't you??? Been in that situation where someone was a total cow and for calling her out I was the one bitched about and a complete rewrite of the incident was spread around. Make absolutely sure she doesn't get away with doing that!!!

Dear Poolsiders / OP

This is not a "FRIEND" ... this is a nasty-minded acquaintance that you are travelling with.

None of my friends tries to push my buttons or demean me ... not at home! ... not at work! ... not at social events! ... not on holiday!

Don’t give up on holidays with friends. They’re great fun. She doesn’t sound like a friend. In fact, she sounds extremely irritating. Why does she give a shit what colour clothes you’ve packed (90% of my clothes are black) or how you eat a tomato!! Weird. What you describe is bad mannered, interfering and nasty. Insist she deletes any photos she’s taken of you without your permission, which is very disrespectful.

I think snapping at her was the right approach in the circumstances: it has brought her up sharp and made her aware that you as well as her know she's been behaving appallingly. Had you gone for the softly softly approach "I don't know if you realise but when you say stuff like...I find it hurtful" she'd have said you were imagining it and or said that you took her comments the wrong way. Hope you enjoy the rest of your holiday and good on you for not letting this ridiculous woman get away with it.

She's jealous and she wants to bring you down.

Ask her if she likes sex and travel, then tell her to go take a flying fuck to herself.

What a total pain in the arse🤬🤬 Better off without her

She is not your friend. Your friends celebrate you, even with tomato stained fingers! She sounds like an unhappy person who is projecting her own insecurities on to you. Not all friendships are meant to last forever. Get your sweet self some glorious people who are easy and positive around you. ❤️

I am not even sure if narasism is an issue here, because she seems to have enough self awareness to be pleasant now. I do think there is definitely an element of another mental disorder there though, possibly bipolar, although I am not sure if that make ppl an outward t**t. For your own sanity, get rid.

Hi, this is not a friend. Nothing sounds friendly about her, has she always been like this? It is not alright anyhow, either she detoxes her self or you detox her.

Just ignore her.
Go off and do your own thing.

You're totally in the right.- she sounds like an absolute b1tch. I had a friend like this years ago, we were friends since school till mid thirties. Every time we met (not regularly).she'd always make digs to me, go belittle & only ever me. On my hen weekend she caused a load of drama (basically trying to make it about her?!) and made some really inappropriate comments about my to-be husband. Couple of years later she made a comment about my sons name & that was it - never spoke to her again.

That sounds absolutely horrific. Never go with her again and do separate things until you can get home (if you are still there)! I’m so sorry! And don’t be friends with her at home either. That’s sounds horrendous and she sounds like she has a lot of issues. 🙏🙏

She sounds awful OP

YANBU

Not sure what maturity has to do with it. The friend sounds like hard work and OP reacted as she's human.

I leave napkins on plates,didn't think that was wrong .

Has there been any further negativity from your friend @Poolsiders ? Are you home now or were you on a fortnight break?

The friend sounds very narcissistic and has shown her true self. An insecure person that you really do not need or deserve. Move on and enjoy your life awsy from toxic people.

She'll be embarrassed; she didn't think you'd pull her up on being a cunt, you have and it's highlighted what a shit perosn she is.

Good on you.

On the quiet, I think that we sometimes ignore, or let pass slight irritations from friends, as we are in our comfort zone, and can easily walk away from the situation, so less pressure is experienced, but being cooped with someone on a holiday, which should be rather a total fun thing or an adventure, can exacerbate ppls idiosyncrasys,. In other words, it can turn someone from being a slight irritant, to being a total C**T. Try to get through this as easy as you can for your own sanity, smoothing the situation as much as possible, or even avoid said person as much as possible, but never go on holiday, or be in their company for a longer than normal period of time again. And if you feel that they have been totally unreasonable, if you can, cut them out of your life, as it's too short, and you will feel more confident for doing so. Some ppl just like to suck the life out of others, and it's quite obvious why they do that. It's most likely to bring your level of self worth, down to their level. Don't fall into that trap. Your self awareness is evident that you are a far more together person then she is. From my own experience in the past. Get your self away from the unhealthy and poisenous environment.

Straight off the top of my head, so I apologise if this sounds a little blunt (although after Forgotmypassagain’s comment I’m feeling pretty safe with what I’ve written 😂)

Are you sure this woman is your friend? The way she talks to you, which also seems to convey how she thinks of you, sounds as if she only wants you around so that she can make herself feel better, and more superior, by criticising aspects of your appearance, your actions, and your choices all the time.

In my opinion, friends back each other up, positively encourage and compliment each other, and generally make each other feel better, not worse!

Has this suddenly started to happen? Is it a surprise to you? Has she always been like this, but it’s suddenly become worse?
I’m not trying to say that you should have known better if it wasn’t a surprise to you. It’s just that, if this hasn’t happened before, or it’s suddenly become worse for some reason, then, instead of listening to my comments below, you may feel that it’s more appropriate to be a good friend and try and find out what’s behind it all.

If I had a ‘friend’ like her, well, well I just wouldn’t. But, for the sake of argument, let’s say that I did, and that I was in your situation on holiday, she’d have been taken to one side, somewhere private and out of the way, and the facts of life explained to her. The things she had said, and the feelings that those things illicit in you. Then she’d be told, in no uncertain terms, to sort herself out. That if she can’t say anything nice then to stfu and not say anything at all. Then, if that didn’t work, she would cease to be any part of my life from that point onwards. She would effectively be choosing to continue to do and say things that were hurtful to you. No excuses for that.

In the event that you are, which I imagine is the case, sharing a room with her, then I would, first, make sure you have your own room key, and then spend what holiday time you have left by yourself, only using the room to sleep and wash etc. Unless, of course, she wants to take a serious self-examination of her words and actions and apologise. Unfortunately she doesn’t sound like the kind of person that does that kind of thing.
Or, you could take a flight home a.s.a.p., but that might be costly, depending on the holiday deal you have.

Most of all, good luck.

TBG

Aways own room when holidaying with friends. I have had some bad experiences in my 20's and ever since then it is a must. It can really increase the cost but I need it for my own sanity and would rather pay extra and have an enjoyable holiday than the whole holiday be a nightmare.

Very cheeky. You need to unfriend her. She has gone over the line!

You must like some things about each other otherwise you wouldn't be on holiday so build on that. You don't sound proud about the way you snapped but you could maybe tell her how bad you feel. Maybe just clear the air and if she doesn't get it then come home?

I’d put headphones on, try and ignore her and enjoy myself best I could then quietly ditch once I got home

but put a stop to the videoing though, “sorry please don’t video me”. That’s just downright creepy.

You’re not the problem. She is.
She sounds bloody awful.
is she always like this? If not, I’d ask her why she is being so mean and nit picky.
If she is, why on Earth did you go on holiday with her?