Take the plunge now or wait until secondary? Tearing my hair out and at loggerheads with DP

8 in a class is way too small at primary, great for A level, not aged 5.

i would go for a state school until the end of year two and make sure you keep dc a year ahead of the curriculum via CGP/bond books so she can pass any entrance test to get in at year 3.

£18k is not worth it for reception. We paid £12k (10 years ago) for reception and it was fine as just like paying for nursery. Now paying £25k pa for secondary but we can see what we get for our money more clearly. Really not worth it for pre prep.

100% agree with you OP. You can give your child so much more with additional free income during primary school - holidays, music, sport etc.

I paid for 5 years private school and while it was absolutely worth it I did feel every single week of those 5 years in terms of reduced financial freedom. Absolutely no way would you enjoy 13 years of it.

I would state school till secondary then switch, this is my plan my DD is thriving at the state primary although it’s a good one I also feel prep fees are not worth it imo. I think you definitely have the right mindset. Like PP have said you can have lovely holidays and be stress free for a bit longer!

My sister made this mistake. She sent her DD to private primary and with the cost of everything going up then could not afford secondary. There is absolutely nothing wrong with any state primary so don't waste your money. It's the secondary that matters.

You say you’ll lose holidays etc because of this - I had a friend who’s parents scraped to send get to private school and because she didn’t have the “lifestyle” alongside (eg holidays etc) she was bullied and ended up back at our state school (where she did great). Just a warning that you may not want to scrape to send her the whole time and perhaps focus on just secondary

That should be a massive argument against in my view. Eight pupils is far too few, both in terms of friends groups and in terms of the school being viable long term.

Alternatively, it may be that almost nobody joins at 4 - most children join at 8 or 11 - so she wouldn’t be losing out.

8 is too small imo as a teacher. Far too much potential for friendship issues. I was worried about my dd's class (13 at a lovely state primary) and definitely wouldn't want smaller.
As a teacher mixed classes don't bother me and I like teaching them. I'd worry about the sustainability of a school with such small numbers

Wow… 8 in a class is far too small from a social perspective. But 31 DC of mixed ages from 4-7 is not ideal either. I’m guessing it’s a tiny village school? I think you need to look a third option.

Independent schools are still inspected. There’s just a different regulatory body.
And ‘easier’ GCSE?? What a load of bollocks.
@Munneyworries
8 is too small for a sustainable class size.
Does this increase as they get older or is this school undersubscribed?
I’d look very carefully at how financially viable and sustainable this school is. The increase in VAT in fees is likely to have a negative impact on small prep schools. You could end up in a scenario where this school is closing in 2 years time.
Another reason why I would suggest you wait a few years. Watch what happens when VAT comes in and then look at what’s still available!

… incidentally, I’ve one other friend who is ‘lucky’ enough to have her children in a small and exclusive school, same kind of numbers. She’d also trade for a larger, less hothoused, less scrutinised experience for her kids. However it’s the only school on their remote island, so she’s stuck 🤣

Consider if you are planning on just 1 child...If you only are having 1 then this may work but if you are planning on any more it won’t work financially.

Are there good selective state schools at a senior level that would be a target IF not then how much are the senior school fees and can you afford them as well?

Fees are just the start of private school costs - there are uniforms, balls and other fundraisers, holidays and trips...add 35% on to the fees for these additional costs.

Fees generally rise by 5-10% per year and once at senior level they rise again.

You will need a minimum £25-35k in today's money to cover 3 years at university in order to top up the loans provided- more if they decide to study for longer for medicine and other degrees. Your child will need to support to buy a house £50-100k in today’s money.

If you can afford holidays, cars, entertaining and everything else comfortably then if its something you like then go for it but dont start something you cant afford to keep up.

In fact the reverse is true. iGCSEs are a LOT harder than GCSEs. Far more difficult content

Yes, same in the small town I’m in.

… it’s one of the main reasons that at least three pupils in my youngest child’s year at primary came in from the prep school - one because she was one of only two girls in her year group and they didn’t really get on, two boys because they were both sporty and the prep just didn’t have the numbers for teams without having too big an age spread plus of course the obvious issues with the social side with such a tiny group - friendships and fallouts very much magnified, not enough of a group for children to find their people (or indeed fade into the background).

Primary is as much about social skills as anything else. Think hard about your child being in a unchanging group of 8 for a year. It’s definitely not an advantage!

I disagree completely! Prep from 8 (year 3) will give her SUCH a good grounding in the three Rs which will stay with her for life.

Just a different angle here. Costs are obviously crazy and my daughter’s school is a lot less per year/term. However, now she is nearing the end of prep, it is hard for pupils from ‘outside’ the private school system to simply slot in. I mean obviously in academic terms, there are stringent exams the further up the school you enter, but also socially and mentally. It’s not for everyone and having been in that private school system from the start is a huge advantage.

I'm perfectly aware thanks. Most indy schools offer both though. IGCSE's are accepted internationally whereas GCSE's aren't. So it isn't the case at all that indy schools offer "easier" GCSEs.

Primary school is where they learn to read, so you need to be sure they are teaching reading - it's a complex and difficult art. Primary is also the foundation for maths etc. I wouldn't pay for pre-school (yipes, 18k is some people's entire income!) but bear in mind that entrance to schools outside the state sector is not only down to money - entrance exams exist, for example.

Some private schools do iGCSEs rather than GCSEs. The evidence as to which is harder is a bit unclear. I'll leave you to Google it.

There is this ongoing myth that private schools do easier GCSes. It's crap. They often do iGCSEs which are recognised world wide including by the very biggest and most exclusive universities like Cambridge and Oxford etc. But some people on Mn have this bee in their bonnets about private schools somehow gaming the system by having looser standards.

I was about to type ‘go for it’ after our very successful experiences with kids at private primary / prep schools . Personally I think it gives them a brilliant start .
However the class sizes here are ridiculously small. How on earth can on teacher teacher 4-7 year olds at the same time. Their needs are streets apart. I wouldn’t want to send my children to such a tiny school.
My son really suffered with just 11 boys in a mixed school in year 7. He didn’t find his tribe. There is definitely a happy medium with class sizes.

I’ve done state primary until end of year 6 and the private from year 7 (ie for secondary) with one (eldest) and then state until end of year 2, and then private from year 3 (ie7+ which is a very normal private school entry point) with the younger two as by then we were earning more so could. The school is all through 7+ to end of sixth form and they’re all at the same school…

In my experience, 7+ has definitely been the best option. The 11+ start was tough.. she’d never had homework, never studied different sciences or languages, not done the private school sports like hockey etc (just done random generic PR at primary) and so on. She settled fast and was / is fine but the younger ones really were better off starting at 7+.

My Dcs have been at a private school since the age of 3. For DS1 it was really required because he has a range of SEN that could not be catered for at our state options. DS2 was because that was where DS1 went. But looking back for DS2 it was a total waste of money.

Honestly- if I were in your situation I would use a state primary (if decent and meets your needs) and move in year 7. You save so so much money and if the differences are marginal at best I'd be saving that cost.

"Easier GCSEs" please elaborate? How can the same exam boards as state be easier unless you are claiming that exam boards are more lenient with kids at indy schools? Which of course is ridiculous

State school plus "private school" extra curriculars should be more than enough for primary school. Get her into riding, hockey, skiing, ballet, classical music, cricket, and languages outside of school and she won't be behind peers if you decide to opt for private at secondary.

8 is far too small.
I'd be worried that a) the school does not have enough pupils to ensure a sustainable future and b) there would be friendship issues in such a small group.
I was thinking of class sizes around 15 - 18 in the private school which is a nice size.