To feel a bit embarrassed my nearly four year old is in a class with two year olds!

Right, just read your update. That must feel good for both of you.

In France they begin will fully inflated arm bands then slowly deflate them in increments at each swimming session. So it's a slow process of learning how to stay afloat when the floating aid is gradually reduced then taken away.

Other thought, maybe swimming is just not his thing? At this stage, I would leave it and come back to it when he's older, maybe 7?

Not read the thread in full but if he’s not making progress you would be better off having a few 1 to 1 lessons - we did this after not making progress in a group class . Kids ended up doing group lessons up to senior school and are very strong swimmers

My children always had swimming lessons in private pools from being babies to end of primary. Never more than 6 in a class. We once had two consecutive weeks where he was the only child in the class as the others were on holiday. Two weeks of 1-1 and the difference was obvious. And often there were only four students but the 1-1 was still massively better fir his progress.

My DS had been going to swimming lessons since babyhood ('duckling' classes) but still couldn't swim a width aged about three/four until a neighbour's daughter a little older than him told him she could do it. (Outright fib, as it happens).
This spurred him on somewhat... early evidence of a competitive trait which I was both pleased and not pleased about. (My problem of course. He's ok now, in his 30s.)

Your pool sounds ridiculously expensive! Our local, brand new sports centre costs just over £120 a month for a family of four to use the pool as much as you like during public opening hours. Dgc have swimming lessons there as well. The older one started in the old pool as a baby and can now swim beautifully at 5 years old. Dil now takes the baby to baby swimming as well and they will eventually progress to proper lessons. Might be worth checking whether your local pool offers a family membership as this might work out less than pay as you go?

I think lessons for little kids are a waste of money tbh. They don't have any control over their limbs!

My two started at 7 and 9 I think, it was a bit late for dd1 but 7yo was about right for dd2. They progressed fairly quickly which then encouraged them to keep trying.

Some just aren’t interested.

All these early childhood things are a bit of a panic over nothing. First to sit, first to drink from a cup, first to walk, first to talk, first to count, first to swim, first to read, first to learn times tables… and on it goes for the over zealous parents who can’t take their eyes off the milestone ladder.
IME it’s usually the lolling, immobile, monosyllabic, sinking kid of hapless parents who suddenly scores top of the school in the iq tests, bursts into eloquent conversation, solves algebra in half the speed of the times tablers and leaves everyone in the dust forever more. Don’t sweat it oP. And equally, he might just never be a swimmer🤷🏻‍♀️ He’s just fine.

He's not ready to swim. Take him out. Give it a year. He'll probably take to it then.

That's a very good point

Then can swim whenever want to

Plus gym

Tho that's one child

You quoted for whole family to go for 280/300

So would really be double that cost as both kids be swimming

I pay £75 a month - 15 a lesson with usually 5 max in the class - private

Council are cheaper but usually have 10 in class

Often feels we have 121 as teacher spends lots of time with each child

I've got plenty of friends whose children have spent 2.5 years in the first stage of swimming. You can't force it. BUT are you topping up going with him yourself to help solve the issue? It can be difficult to progress when it is only 30 minutes a week.

I also used to sign my DS up for the intensive 5-days-in-a-row courses at our leisure centre during holidays. It definitely helped.

When they go into year R they automatically get moved up to Stage 1, so I'd probably pull him out of those lessons or ask him to be moved up so he at least goes in without you.

My 11 year old son is in a class with his 5 year old sister. He's fine with it, it's just taken him a long time to learn how to swim. We've tried various teachers/swim schools.

OP, have you thought about putting him in 1-1 or 1-2 private lessons?

I skipped the long dragged out big-group lessons and put my DD though a bunch of 1-1 classes. It cost about the same because she did not need many lessons and progress was telescoped into a very short space of time.

If I was you, I’d look around for different lessons. It may not work, but my son wasn’t progressing at all at his first place we tried swimming. After a year and he was still scared to put his face in the water. We changed to somewhere else which was recomended with smaller group sizes and within six weeks he was not only able to put his face in the water but could swim confidently on his back. Front was a struggle but now he is an excellent swimmer. I think if we hadn’t had moved we still would have made little to no progress

I posted that before seeing your latest message, OP! Well done to your DS.

Speaking as someone whose DC are grown-up, I'd say this is a completely normal reaction, but also, as you yourself say, unreasonable. I don't think you can help feelings like this. As a parent you are always comparing your DC to other people's DC, especially, I think, when they are small. Once they are grown you have a different perspective on it.

For example, I knew children who were very late talkers, which was frustrating to their parents, but of course once they learnt to talk, there was no difference between them and other children, and they all ended up going to university and doing well. Ditto a little boy I knew who didn't read until he was eight - he turned out fine too. Perfectly intelligent child (and now young man) but for some reason he was slow to get the hang of reading.

Your DS has been a bit slow with swimming, but he'll get there eventually. Children develop at different stages. But I quite understand that you still feel embarrassment about him being in with the little ones.

I think 4 is fairly young for kids to be able to swim independently. My eldest didn't even start swimming lessons until 5 (covid), younger one picked it up a bit quicker and could swim independently at 4 but was the youngest in her swimming group. It's really not something I would worry about.

I didn't learn to swim until I was nearly 7 (Just a lesson in the pool from my mum teaching doggy paddle). I then had a near miss drowning experience in the sea in Greece about 6 months later. We had swimming lessons at school when I was 10 and I was so behind I had to go at a completely different time from my class and be with kids 2 year's younger (1 other girl also did but she was disabled). That felt humiliating!!! But even so, I'm a pretty strong swimmer these days! All to say, at age 4 I don't think this is a problem x