To think this is abuse.

Don’t change jobs. He’ll be worse, not better. Strand up to him.

If you really want to stay with this horrible man, surely your daughter going to breakfast club is the lesser evil (or after-school club?). Don't give up your job. The new job hours sound terrible for family life, much worse for your daughter than what’s happening now.

Please, please do not leave your job.

So that means unlimited disney dadding ie sweets, screentime, no proper meals no bed time, no routine etc and who will pick up the pieces of an overtired over stimulated child with no routine. If he cant look after your child from 2-5 then he won’t do nights and bedtimes.
He will not support this new job either.
Keep the current job, your dd will get older and more self reliant. Can you get her a place in an after school club ? He will have nothing to moan about and she will be looked after.

Exactly!

Op, most people work until 5pm, what is the man's problem with that?

You are bonkers if you give up doing something that is, all round, good and fulfilling for you.

In the nicest way please look at the bigger picture. Just this is a huge indicator on how controlling he is and I can bet that he is emotionally abusive/controlling in other aspects of your life to. If your anything like I was, I'd consume myself in full time work and my children which would distract me from how he was treating me. If you can, you really need to think about how unhappy you are, communicate this to him (sounds like he's not too good on communication mind) maybe in a letter if you can't face to face and if he still continues the behaviour you need to leave. Contact womens aid beforehand, they may even help you to unravel what is going on as you may not even realise how controlling he is. I'm so sorry your going through it, you work hard and deserve much more❤️

Do not leave your job.

As other posters have said, it’s easier to get childcare before/after school than it is weekends or nights.

You know he won’t look after her properly & she will end up going to bed late on school nights. On the weekends you need to work he will either take her to his mum’s or sabotage your job by refusing to take care of her.

I’m not saying you have to leave him now, but don’t make decisions that will make it harder to in the future. Or make you reliant on him.

In the meantime I would look at breakfast club, my kids loved it. Extra breakfast and time to play with their friends before school. What’s not to like?!

If you look objectively, I think you will see that childcare before or after school is better quality time than what her dad provides. The playworkers certainly won’t make her feel like she’s in the way as he does.

And YANBU to think this is abuse

So you really couldn’t have more normal working hours than you already have! With the added bonus of a job you enjoy with people you like. And he is trying to jeopardise this because he doesn’t want to look after his own child for one hour a day!

Surely with the job you’ve applied for, he would have to provide a lot more childcare? How would that work? There’s no logic to it at all. He is definitely trying to you by ruining your career.

And yes, he is abusing you, which is why changing jobs is not the answer.

Your dd will be much safer in breakfast club than you changing jobs and not being around for large chunks of time. She will get older and need less looking after. Then breakfast club will no longer be necessary.

Definitely sounds like abuse yes

Do not leave your job

This is nothing to do with your job please stick with the job

it’s about him controlling you

he shall constantly move the goal posts, if it’s not your job it’s how you parent, how you look, how you treat him, how you cook it will be anything and he will get worse

I do understand that sometimes it feels easier to give in but please do not

Your DH will not change but you can change how you react to him and please look into leaving him he will drag you down

and yes it’s a pattern of abuse wanting to control your partner

Don't do it. Do not be bullied out of a job you enjoy.
He sounds lazy and entitled.

As PPs say, if he won't mind his children for an hour now, he's not intention of doing it for this new job.

He's trapping you. Don't allow this to happen, it won't work out well for you or the children.

Tell him to hire help for 4-5pm out of his wage.
Do not throw a job you like in for a partner who has no right telling you to get a job which will cause the same attitude from him.
What a supportive partner, what the hell is that about.
Are you earning more or what is the threat he feels?

You might think its easier just to change jobs but I can guarantee whatever job your do your H will continue to be a Dick.
Its not your job you need to change

This. The 8-4 option is better if you’re not able to leave him and he won’t basically grow up.

The new job sounds harder.

Do you have leverage due to looking after your stepson? I’d be telling H that if he doesn’t pack it in you’ll be out with DD when DSS is there and you will do no childcare.

Don’t leave your job. It’s disrespectful and controlling for him to moan about it and ask you to leave. Why doesn’t he change his job so he doesn’t finish til 6pm? The. you working until 5pm won’t bother him as he won’t be there!

Build your own carer and financial independence and then you can leave him if his attitude towards you doesn’t improve. But tell him in the meantime he should respect you and your job and stop moaning.

OP, it would be unwise to give up your current working hours for jobs for include banks holidays and weekends.

It's very very hard to find childcare weekends, Christmas and other bank holidays. I can't see your husband looking after DD on his days off when he can't be arsed to do an hour or two after work.

Do not leave your job security.

Just wanted to add another voice to say under no circumstances leave your job. He finished at 2 so has three hours of childcare and he’s moaning. He’s trying to control you. He’s already said that he won’t look after DC properly when you work weekends etc. he’s shown you his true colours. Don’t ignore his warning shots.

Don’t leave your job, or your child will suffer more.
You can’t trust him to look after her.
Use an after school club for now, for the rest of the school year at least.
Don’t try to reason with him as it’s futile.
You already know that his way makes no sense.

He is deliberately disparaging you and the job, -sabotaging your confidence and as a form of coercive control. He has already got you in a stranglehold where you can’t think straight with his constant badgering.
You must stay strong and do everything you can to hold on to the job you love and deserve and the status you have earned, as you are going to need it.

At the same time, start making your plans for when the marriage finally breaks. Arm yourself with as much information on divorce as possible. Ask questions, quietly gather paperwork and facts ..and money if possible.

I voted YABU

You are leaving a job that you enjoy because he’s got an issue with it???

You know this relationship is going to end soon anyway, so why would you give up something that you enjoy and fits in with your DD?

How are you going to cope working EOW if he refuses to have your DD??

Stop being such a wet wipe and stick with your job that you enjoy.

UABU to even have got this interview. Tell your DH to F off