To think this is abuse.

@skeletonbones

Bog standard IT sort of job, delusional, nasty twat.

Why am I not surprised? Men like that are never high achievers themselves.

I hope the OP realises that he is threatened by her job and career.
He is determined to destroy it for her.

But it wont be easier. The new job will be even harder to cope with around DD care. DH has even more excuses to moan about it, and eventually you give up your job and he gets what he wants - control.

Bog standard IT sort of job, delusional, nasty twat.

@skeletonbones

When she did this then her job wasnt prestigeous enough so he demanded she retrained as 'a doctor or lawyer' at 40 despite explaining that this was 1 very hard to do 2 not what she wanted to do he's now using 'not a doctor' for the stick to beat her with forever more,

This man sounds vile. What did he do? I'm assuming he was the Chief Medical Officer or something... not

Keep the job, leave the man.

Can you work outside of the home when he comes back? Local library or co working space?

Also, I had a friend who had a husband like this. Every nag she gave in to he moved the goalposts. Being SAHM was embarrasing to him so she must work even though they didnt need the money but also keep the house immaculte and cook fancy meals that he'd often just leave and then get a takeaway instead. Then her part time hours wernt enough so much go full time again with 0 housework or childcare from him and same immaculate house expections. When she did this then her job wasnt prestigeous enough so he demanded she retrained as 'a doctor or lawyer' at 40 despite explaining that this was 1 very hard to do 2 not what she wanted to do he's now using 'not a doctor' for the stick to beat her with forever more, he kids are very sad abn also hideously critisised and controlled by their horrid dad. You'll never appease him as he's the problem

I think the dc is in school till then possibly he collects comes home and the whinging starts up?

@Nanny0gg I've had my nose broken by a man before, he also made me quit my job.
Funny that...
You've a narrow view of abuse.

What a plonker it's called parenting he finishes at 2. So why is he ok parenting his own child 2-4 but 4-5 he see's his bum?

Surely you have asked him why he refuses to look after his own daughter! What is his reply?

You are being unreasonable for caving
get rid of DH
not your job

You need to start mentally / emotionally distancing yourself from him. You cannot care about the opinions of a man who has not got your best interests at heart. Your life belongs to you, not to him.

Yes, it is abuse and changing your job will not fix it. He will just find something else to abuse you for and try to control you. That's how abusers operate. The job is not the problem, him being a controlling tit is.

Do Not Leave Your Job. Leave him.

(The new job sounds even worse than the current one for him having to step up and he's already told you he won't.)

Something isn't right, DO NOT LEAVE YOUR JOB, it will cause u to be resentful. Finding a job that you love that doesn't require additional cc is a godsend.
Take care, your husband is being very unreasonable, I can see no logic in his thinking. Is he normally unreasonable re other matters?

Dont have the interview OP, stick with your current job.
Can you look into wrap around care or a child minder? I think you need to do your best to block him out don't involve him or ask him, he will only use it as a stick to beat you with. He is a complete twat but you know this.
Stay with a job you love, and ignore him or tell him you're not interested in his opinion and to shut the hell up. And then start to make plans for leaving him. See a solicitor and get some advice and then you can start to make plans longer term for getting out.

This is NOT about the job. This is about control. Please do not leave this job, as this will manifest in other ways and you’ll split up anyway and be in a job you hate.

if you want to concede then breakfast club is the thing that should give, I think.

if you leave your job that you love you might regret it forever. His problem, I bet, it that you have meetings and that means people listen to you or value what you have to say. He’s threatened by your job and the fact you are good at it and enjoy it.

My best friends ex was a controlling a-hole and hated her having any accolades or promotions. He thought her job as a senior nurse was the same as working in a supermarket, and he wanted her to do that for the easier hours. Get which one she got rid of?

I mean whats the job? I don't think I have seen you mention it.

I mean say if your a prostitute in a brothel or a porn star I think its pretty fair your husband could hate it and tell you to stop most here would likely agree they wouldn't stay with someone who is out selling sex while they sit at home with your kids.

If your a cashier in M&S or something then its a little weirder to have issues but what is the actual reason he hates it?

My ex (still friends) went on to become a fisherman after we split, I honestly have to say I would have struggled to date him if he had got that job while we where still together. The smell alone is abhorrent, overpowering and makes me gag/gives me migraines. You can dislike a persons job and there can be legitimate reasons you don't like it. Jobs have a knock on effect on family and life.

He sounds manipulative and that's probably the tip of the iceberg. I'm assuming he knows you love your job so that's the main reason he is doing this. People like him like to be in control.. Do not give into his requests. Plan how you're going to sack him from your life, get a court order in place regarding your DD. If you let him walk all over you, you will not recognise yourself in years to come and this will also impact your child. Even if he does have access at least there will be conditions and he will have to abide by them. You can do this, show your daughter what a strong Mum she has by standing up to him.

Agree with everyone else that the resentment and interference is unlikely to stop if you go along with this. It will just move on to something else. As you like your job, keep it. Why make everything worse for yourself

Ps not many of us are blessed with jobs that we live AND jobs that are flexible around family time. Don't let go of yours!

@Downandout21 please don't leave your job! Your husband is a bully and controlling. He will never like any job you have. He wants you to be at his disposal but also bring in the wages?? Please please don't leave to job YOU love! You will also miss out on time with your daughter that way. Who will look after her when you're at work during weekends? Stay put in your job, use breakfast/after school clubs if you can. Make an exit plan regarding your husband.

Do not change a job with hours that suit you for one that would be difficult to arrange childcare for. You will need that flexibility if you split with him.
He will sabotage the new job because you will be more reliant on him for childcare and he knows he could do that as a means to control you.
At least with your current job you would only need breakfast club in case of a split.

Don't give you your job for what will be one week of bliss with no moaning.

You know a few months in of weekend and Christmas work that your going to end up paying yourself to put your dd in childcare or her care at home is going to rapidly decline when she's close to start school.

You can't do this and it's clearly abuse determined to make you lose your financial power.