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Original poster

Would you rather......

59 replies

DadOfStubborn · 21/09/2024 00:42

This is a hypothetical question my siblings have been discussing. Would you rather have an academic child or a musical one? We are discussing because my dd is pretty academic but not too musical and my niece is the opposite and there are a lot of pros and cons.

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Original poster
DadOfStubborn · 22/09/2024 06:55

Coatsoff42 · 21/09/2024 23:37

Strictly for my own personal happiness: musical because then they play beautiful music in the house which is a pleasure to listen to.
Realistically its not like you get to choose so it’s an arbitrary choice.

but it should be about them right

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Coatsoff42 · 21/09/2024 23:37

Strictly for my own personal happiness: musical because then they play beautiful music in the house which is a pleasure to listen to.
Realistically its not like you get to choose so it’s an arbitrary choice.

Original poster
DadOfStubborn · 21/09/2024 23:34

DissidentDaughter · 21/09/2024 13:42

@DadOfStubborn

I’m all for kids having the opportunity to experience music (& arts/sports) just for the sake of it - it’s part of our shared human heritage 🙌 But it makes a mockery of the child and the activity if they really don’t enjoy it.

I guess we always need to pay attention our children’s individual strengths and interests.

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yes its really sad to see kids waste their childhoods and teenage years on something they really don't enjoy just to not get their parents mad:(

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DissidentDaughter · 21/09/2024 13:42

DadOfStubborn · 21/09/2024 13:19

The thing is, the parents usually don't expect them to become musicians, just feel like as their sons/daughters they are obliged to put an effort into the extra curricular that THE PARENTS chooses🙄

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@DadOfStubborn

I’m all for kids having the opportunity to experience music (& arts/sports) just for the sake of it - it’s part of our shared human heritage 🙌 But it makes a mockery of the child and the activity if they really don’t enjoy it.

I guess we always need to pay attention our children’s individual strengths and interests.

GoditsSeptember · 21/09/2024 13:19

DD wanted to give up violin after about 5 years. I let her. Why force her?
So I have this violin that I don't know what to do with. Anyone want a violin lol?
I let them try things. DS isn't a whizz at guitar but he's happy doing it and that's fine. If they're happy I'm happy.

Original poster
DadOfStubborn · 21/09/2024 13:19

DissidentDaughter · 21/09/2024 13:12

Oh, how dreadful, poor kid 😢 A reminder that children aren’t responsible for following the dreams/careers that their parents never achieved.

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The thing is, the parents usually don't expect them to become musicians, just feel like as their sons/daughters they are obliged to put an effort into the extra curricular that THE PARENTS chooses🙄

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DissidentDaughter · 21/09/2024 13:12

DadOfStubborn · 21/09/2024 13:07

I agree, but I have also seen many kids being forced to play an instrument for years, and that is really sad too.

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Oh, how dreadful, poor kid 😢 A reminder that children aren’t responsible for following the dreams/careers that their parents never achieved.

Original poster
DadOfStubborn · 21/09/2024 13:07

DissidentDaughter · 21/09/2024 13:02

@MasterBeth Indeed.

Of course it’s wise for parents to keep in mind the pathways to a livelihood (there are many - parents need to pay attention!) but shutting down talents that give internal enrichment solely for the external “one that makes them most money” will leave children short-changed.

Culture - engaging in the arts, sports etc - is what makes us truly human.

I agree, but I have also seen many kids being forced to play an instrument for years, and that is really sad too.

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DissidentDaughter · 21/09/2024 13:02

@MasterBeth Indeed.

Of course it’s wise for parents to keep in mind the pathways to a livelihood (there are many - parents need to pay attention!) but shutting down talents that give internal enrichment solely for the external “one that makes them most money” will leave children short-changed.

Culture - engaging in the arts, sports etc - is what makes us truly human.

Original poster
DadOfStubborn · 21/09/2024 13:02

Sorry if I offended anyone! I meant this as like a stupid, lighthearted question and am not being serious

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SunsetSkylane · 21/09/2024 12:21

Musical. I think a life of music and creativity has a lot more to give that a life of being able to remember facts and repeat them on demand.

Neither path has to lead to your chosen career, but I think having music even on the side as a hobby is really satisfying and enriching, and you can be part of a community of creative interesting people very easily.

MasterBeth · 21/09/2024 12:19

DissidentDaughter · 21/09/2024 12:10

What a strange question.

Children aren’t accessories, they’re autonomous individuals. Being academic or musical are innate qualities which should be encouraged.

Huge agree. I don't think it's po-faced, as an earlier poster suggested, to think this a batshit crazy question.

Would you rather your child had abnormally large hands or abnormally large feet?

Would you rather your child was an obsessive Star Trek fan or an obsessive Taylor Swift fan?

Would you rather your child couldn't swim or couldn't ride a bike?

Stupid questions, all. My children are all a complex mix of passions, talents and abilities. They're not robots with an "academic" or "musical" chip to be inserted in them. And it's grim to me to see so many people answering (in effect) "the one that makes them most money."

DadJoke · 21/09/2024 12:19

DadOfStubborn · 21/09/2024 02:10

I'm asking for my niece, do musicians actually earn less than "normal" people?

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That’s entirely different question.

The issue with being a professional musician isn’t that they aren’t paid well, it’s that it’s almost important to be become one. But at that age you shouldn’t be thinking of your kids as little capitalist cogs.

DissidentDaughter · 21/09/2024 12:10

What a strange question.

Children aren’t accessories, they’re autonomous individuals. Being academic or musical are innate qualities which should be encouraged.

SocksTalk · 21/09/2024 11:31

Musademic

Lurkingandlearning · 21/09/2024 10:53

I thought this was going to be the more fun would you rather fight one hundred duck sized horses or a duck the size or a horse (mini horses for me). @Scribblydoo please start this thread, especially if you have other wonderful examples. I’m going to think about those fight options off and on all day

Original poster
DadOfStubborn · 21/09/2024 10:30

Newname71 · 21/09/2024 09:33

Pros and cons for both.
Just because your academic doesn’t mean you’re going to end up in a well paid job. Plenty of folks with degrees working minimum wage jobs these days.
Unless you’re incredibly talented and lucky (right place right time) it’s very difficult to make a fortune in music.
DS(1) is very intelligent but left school with 2 GCSE’s due to ADHD and Tourette’s syndrome.
He’s a self taught guitarist, he can listen to a song a couple of times then play it. He’s incredibly talented. I love nothing more than listening to him belt out Metallica songs!
I’m incredibly proud of him for being him.

That's really cool!

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Newname71 · 21/09/2024 09:33

Pros and cons for both.
Just because your academic doesn’t mean you’re going to end up in a well paid job. Plenty of folks with degrees working minimum wage jobs these days.
Unless you’re incredibly talented and lucky (right place right time) it’s very difficult to make a fortune in music.
DS(1) is very intelligent but left school with 2 GCSE’s due to ADHD and Tourette’s syndrome.
He’s a self taught guitarist, he can listen to a song a couple of times then play it. He’s incredibly talented. I love nothing more than listening to him belt out Metallica songs!
I’m incredibly proud of him for being him.

Positivenancy · 21/09/2024 09:32

DadOfStubborn · 21/09/2024 08:32

Interesting which one would you rather be

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As a child I was neither so I’m unsure to be honest…that didn’t stop me getting 3 degrees and a great career though so it’s all about drive to be honest. I hate sports though so I’d probably choose acedemic on that basis

jeaux90 · 21/09/2024 09:24

OilLamp · 21/09/2024 07:50

Horrible question. I'm shocked people are answering. So what do you do if you have the opposite to what you want? ....try to mould them to what you want? Lowering their sense of self and self esteem as you go. Constantly compare them and feel hard done by?

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Chill your boots it's just a question, people are allowed an opinion.

My child is not academic or musical she has ADHD and ASD and I'm just happy she is happy at school and scraping through the GCSE year.

I would still rather have an academic child though.

jeaux90 · 21/09/2024 09:22

An academic one.

NalafromtheLionKing · 21/09/2024 09:16

Academic. Couldn’t care less if they are musical, arty, sporty etc.

OilLamp · 21/09/2024 09:12

I'm chill. I still think it's a horrible question.

Original poster
DadOfStubborn · 21/09/2024 08:32

OilLamp · 21/09/2024 07:50

Horrible question. I'm shocked people are answering. So what do you do if you have the opposite to what you want? ....try to mould them to what you want? Lowering their sense of self and self esteem as you go. Constantly compare them and feel hard done by?

Edited

Calm down no comparison made its purely hypothetical

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Original poster
DadOfStubborn · 21/09/2024 08:32

Positivenancy · 21/09/2024 07:48

I have one of each 😂 an acedemic one and a musical/sporty one

Interesting which one would you rather be

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