Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Do you care what your Partner does for a Living?

213 replies

Aquarius1234 · 20/09/2024 22:01

Do you or would you care what your partner / boyfriend/ girlfriend does for a living?

I don't and I'm in late 30s. I probably was judgemental in 20s. For no reason, just false assumption, like thinking trades people earnt low money, which isn't true.

Another example, someone might be embarrassed if their boyfriend was a bin man or bus driver.

Once you have the initial conversation s out the way, I don't think it matters at all.
It's not like your going to work with them.
(If you are that's another conversation)

OP posts:
Original poster
Aquarius1234 · 20/09/2024 22:37

ToBeDetermined · 20/09/2024 22:26

I care. I wouldn’t be with

  • drug dealer/ not even if a cartel boss with millions
  • arms dealer
  • mercenary
  • assassin
anyone who regularly kills people as part of their job,

Well Indeed. No thanks.

OP posts:
TheTigerWhoCameToEatMyArsehole · 20/09/2024 22:35

As long as he's not selling his arsehole it's up to him what he does.

NewName24 · 20/09/2024 22:35

I wouldn't mind in terms of the things you have mentioned OP, which seem to be differentiating between what used to be known as 'blue collar' and 'white collar' jobs.
But it is important to me they have a good work ethic.
It is important it is legal - so no drug dealing, running brothels, people trafficking etc.
In truth I wouldn't be keen on being with someone in the armed forces who was constantly having to be posted to different places.

Dhdidndnddn · 20/09/2024 22:34

No I looked for a loving partner never cared what job as long as he wasn’t stood there with his hand out.

Saying that I wouldn’t want a heavily orientated career man, find that a turn off as I wanted a man who prioritised family not his job over his family.

Original poster
Aquarius1234 · 20/09/2024 22:33

XenoBitch · 20/09/2024 22:25

I don't care, and never have. I have gone out with unemployed men. I used to see a chap who cleaned sanitary bins for a living.

I am currently not working due to health issues. It has not bothered my DP one bit, and didn't bother my ex either. I have a lot to offer that is not financial.

Sanitary bins, definitely niche eh

OP posts:
ObscureGrape · 20/09/2024 22:32

Jennyathemall · 20/09/2024 22:12

No, DH is an international hitman and it doesn’t bother me. Tbf the moneys good and he assures me they were all bad people.

😀

I absolutely care what DH does for a living. Surely anyone with half a brain has some limits. Tory politician, contract killer, people trafficker?

And my FIL is a retired binman— he is dealing on a daily basis with the longterm painful physical damage caused by hefting metal bins in the days before wheeliebins. It’s not a job I’d wish on anyone (though I’m assuming physical conditions are far better now.)

Themapisupsidedown · 20/09/2024 22:32

Cardiganoutsidein · 20/09/2024 22:29

Tbf - OLD may be a shitshow, but even there you’d struggle to find many assassins 😆

drug dealers on the other hand…

Show quote history

There’s loads of assassins on dating sites surely? What other jobs do all the men do who say they work ‘in the military’ or ‘in the government’ but it’s top secret and they can’t tell you want they do and it also stops them answering calls and texts sometimes, usually evening and weekends? 🤔 😂

StoatofDisarray · 20/09/2024 22:31

I'd care if he was arms dealer, yes.

Cardiganoutsidein · 20/09/2024 22:29

ToBeDetermined · 20/09/2024 22:26

I care. I wouldn’t be with

  • drug dealer/ not even if a cartel boss with millions
  • arms dealer
  • mercenary
  • assassin
anyone who regularly kills people as part of their job,

Tbf - OLD may be a shitshow, but even there you’d struggle to find many assassins 😆

drug dealers on the other hand…

muggart · 20/09/2024 22:29

Sort of. I think it's attractive if they have passion and enjoy what they do. There's something about being a go-getter that I like. I think it's more about having a zest for life, not really about salary.

Cardiganoutsidein · 20/09/2024 22:27

soundsys · 20/09/2024 22:21

Yeah this tbh!

Doesn't mean they have to be high-flying/high-paid but they do have to have something of a plan and a decent work ethic (as I do!)

Show quote history

Agree!

I’ve done the whole marrying ( and divorcing) someone who flitted from one low paid job to another while ‘finding himself’. Lived off me for years. Costs a fortune to divorce ( all ‘my’ assets were ours and he had fa!)

after that experience, I’d never consider someone who wasn’t financially secure.

and it’s not just about the potential drain on you. It says a lot about someone’s work ethic, self respect and values if they have a job they work hard in. I’d say it’s less about the actual job ( or even the pay) but more about what it says about the person

Comedycook · 20/09/2024 22:26

I mean I wouldn't ever want to be in a relationship with someone who was a bailiff/traffic warden/police.

ToBeDetermined · 20/09/2024 22:26

I care. I wouldn’t be with

  • drug dealer/ not even if a cartel boss with millions
  • arms dealer
  • mercenary
  • assassin
anyone who regularly kills people as part of their job,
Changingplace · 20/09/2024 22:26

I wouldn’t care if someone was working on the bins, trades can earn really good money so it’s daft to look down on that kind of role.

I wouldn’t date/marry anyone in the armed forces because I wouldn’t want to traipse around or be left at home while they’re deployed off round the world, but I think that’s as much a lifestyle choice as a job, it’s your whole life you’re expected to revolve around a career, and that wouldn’t be for me.

Newsenmum · 20/09/2024 22:26

hamstersarse · 20/09/2024 22:13

I find non achieving men quite unattractive

brutal but true

What’s ’non achieving’?

Aquarius1234 · 20/09/2024 22:26

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

ZenNudist · 20/09/2024 22:26

I'm looking for a man in finance
6'4"
Blue eyes
Trust fund

MeowCatPleaseMeowBack · 20/09/2024 22:26

Only if it was a job that I find unethical.

XenoBitch · 20/09/2024 22:25

I don't care, and never have. I have gone out with unemployed men. I used to see a chap who cleaned sanitary bins for a living.

I am currently not working due to health issues. It has not bothered my DP one bit, and didn't bother my ex either. I have a lot to offer that is not financial.

MyOtherCarisAVauxhallZafira · 20/09/2024 22:24

If it's makes him happy and it's enough to support himself/his fair share with DS I'm fine with it, unless it's something morally/legally dubious, like drug dealer/pimp

DoYouReally · 20/09/2024 22:24

I n general no, but I would draw the line at annoying ones like ghost hunter, professional protester, charity chiggers or a life coach.

Arlanymor · 20/09/2024 22:24

TwinklyAmberOrca · 20/09/2024 22:17

Job/money isn't important. Couldn't care less.

A good work ethic though is absolutely important.

Couldn't stand to be with someone who didn't want to contribute to society.

This, entirely this. For example people who work for charities are often paid a pittance but they do it because they are fundamentally brilliant people who care about making the world a little bit better.

MintyNew · 20/09/2024 22:24

hamstersarse · 20/09/2024 22:13

I find non achieving men quite unattractive

brutal but true

Same.

Whothefuckdoesthat · 20/09/2024 22:23

Not at all.

I’d be more embarrassed to admit that I had an issue with it.

midgetastic · 20/09/2024 22:22

I care

Do they work enough to support themselves

Do they aim to do good in their live / work

Would they refuse a job that was well paid but inconsistent with ethical values

Do they value life over money - working all hours would be a real turn off

Swipe left for the next trending thread