Do you care what your Partner does for a Living?

I agree the work ethic is more important than the actual job. But for relationships to work you need interests in common and I'm not sure how much I would have in common with a binman or bricklayer.

I don't care what anyone does for a job, as long as they have a good work ethic, aren't lazy and work hard however I had to admit DH has a low paid job (way under national average) and I do wish he earned more to take the pressure off and so we had more for treats etc. I feel like it's all on me to provide for the family and now in my 40s having to climb the career ladder further.

I do require people to be motivated enough to have a job that they have some interest in and can do effectively. I find men who are flaky and disorganised a real turn off. And as others have said I have a highly tuned radar for a potential cocklodger. Been there, got the t-shirt.

But I certainly wouldn’t exclude particular categories of employment or make stipulations such as “only graduates” or “only doctors”. I think that’s a bit twattish and snobby. Also short sighted.

If I was in the marriage market again (which I am not) I would actually probably be turned off by a lot of mega ambitious high flying jobs (bankers/tech entrepreneurs etc). Men like this tend to have quite set ideas about what they want from a partner and be quite controlling and uncompromising. My partner earns a lot less than me and tbh I probably prefer this.

The last thing I would want is a man who thought he was bringing home the bacon and could therefore throw his weight around and be the boss at home.

Yes I do. It's not about money. I have turned down men (when OLD) whose morals around work don't alight with my own, so marketing for a tobacco company and certain defence engineering roles. I wouldn't want to be with someone who worked for a gambling company either. I am attracted to a thirst for knowledge, drive to apply that, ethics and ambition. If someone is doing an interim role that's fine, and I would never have an aversion to hard or dirty work.

I don’t want a partner who works shifts, I’d want him to be happy in his job, I don’t particularly want him away from home huge amounts of the time.. Binman sounds fine!

I'd find it hard to be with anyone who worked in an abattoir. I'm a hypocrite because I love eating meat. I'd also find it hard to be with anyone who is traffic warden because I hate them, even though I know they are just doing their job and they don't make the rules etc.

Don’t care about the actual job, but they’d have to have at least some drive to get up in the mornings, work hard and make a decent living to support their families. I earn a reasonable living myself but would not be in any mood to subsidise him!

I suppose I used to be snobbish about tradespeople but not anymore- I know a few and they’re all far more comfortably off than we are! And I’ve run a business myself and know exactly how hard it is

Yes this probably. Otherwise no.

I do care about being with someone who has a good work ethic though. Although that said, DH retired early! But he worked his arse off for years in some pretty horrible jobs and in a few very difficult locations so that counter balances things I think.

Sounds harsh, but yes, it really matters to me.

I find clever, successful men in clever, interesting jobs attractive. I like people with intellectual and professional energy, and that's usually correlated with a successful career. It is also important to me that a partner could provide a good standard of living for me and our children. I have no interest in struggling for money or in the pressure to bring in most of the money,

Most of our friends are similar, and have married people like them. Where this didn't happen, it's not generally worked out.

Luckily, I found an excellent DP who is all of these things.

I wouldn't care if someone was a binman. I'd care very much if they were into mlm.

I also wanted a partner with a degree of professional ambition, I wanted someone to build a stable life for our dc with. I wanted us to be able to share financial responsibility for our family.

In my 20s I didn’t. We were all starting life and doing jobs that fitted around other commitments and aspirations. Now I do because if the guy in his late 40s is still working at Pret-a-Manger, I am questioning what he did with his life and how he is going to support himself in older age.
No problem with tradespeople though. My partner is a builder and he is extremely knowledgeable and skilled and took 25 years to perfect his craft. He loves his job and is handy around the house.

I don't care what the job is, but I don't want to struggle for money or count pennies so he needs to earn roughly as much as I do.

Yes on the basis I want, and want my kids, to have a great quality of life with options. Charity work is noble but can wait until retirement or be don't voluntarily if they really care about making a difference.

Options in life require a strong take home pay,
As does a good pension in older age require prioritising from that stron salary.
Achieving mortgage freedom hugely improved our disposable and life options for food, holidays etc
Holidays every year for the kids
Being able to just buy stuff without having to watch the pennies is liberating.

Money does buy happiness I'm afraid so absolutely it matters, generally people who disagree are those that earn less.

Not really but they wouldn’t be my partner if they didn’t have solidwork ethics and similar morals to me. I don’t want to be worrying about money etc.I’m not arsed he doesn’t want to climb a ladder because i don’t either. The small increases in pay in our roles are not worth the added increased stress.

As it goes he is masters educated and works for local council. As we are both public sector ( NHS me) neither of us earn high wages anyway. I’m not arsed he doesn’t want to climb a ladder because i don’t either. The small increases in pay in our roles are not worth the added. We earn enough money to live and have fun that’s ok for us.

I think the only thing I'd steer clear of are the guys with the "big dreams" but not a lot really going on.

I've two friends who are saddled up to these kind of guys, all now in their mid to late forties, and nothing has changed since they met them in their 20s.

They've been chasing the dream of bring aspiring artists for the whole time they've been married. Never seem to take on an even amount of responsibility for their kids, housework etc, even though their wives work 40 hours+ in demanding jobs and they seem to spend a lot of time at home "searching for inspiration."

Both of them seem to need to get out in the evening too, playing crappy guitar or crappy vocals for local bands in local pubs. So my friends tend to do all the evening responsibilities too, so their partners can be their authentic selves, whilst also supporting the entire family financially.

Yet when they talk about their partners, it's an "any day now" conversation about them that seems to keep them going.

I'm afraid I'm just too cynical to not think of them as giant piss takers. It wouldn't be for me.

I'd care if he was a butcher or worked in an abattoir,

Everything else - don't care as long as they're happy!

Wouldn’t want to date a butcher or abattoir worker. Or someone who is still a porter or something like my brother who has been in the same minimum wage job since university. I want someone who wants to progress in some way. Would like someone with a skilled trade who I can put to work doing DIY. I find finance city types offputting but not sure why. Like people who are in law or law-adjacent like me as we can discuss construction disputes over dinner.

As long as it’s not something dodgy!
I couldn’t cope if someone just moaned about their job constantly without making moves to change it. I don’t care what they do but I think it should be something they enjoy or accept that they don’t enjoy it but it pays the bills.

Yes, I care.

I care about her health so if I could see it was harming her I'd encourage her to consider an alternative career path.

I also care whether her chosen career aligns with the qualities and the views we say we have.

I care that her career is one that's left at work at the end of their working day and isn't prioritised over family.

I care that together we earn enough to cover our living expenses at a minimum.

Not the job, no but the hours / shift pattern do as I want to be able to enjoy downtime with my significant other

Yes, I care.

I would never date someone in the army, or the police, or whose job involved working every single weekend, or nights, or who would be required to lots of travelling etc.

For me, it's nothing to do with money or whether I think some jobs are "better" but I never understood the point of being in a relationship with someone who was barely around, or whose job always took priority over everything else. It's just not for me.

As it is, DH works very hard and is self-employed in the trades, but he's got a great work/life balance and is around every evening and at weekends. It's about that balance and having time together as a couple for me, not what they actually do.

I wouldn’t be bothered because of thinking it wasn’t a “good enough” job. But there are some jobs where the lifestyle is incompatible with what I want in a relationship or the ethics would make me question what sort of man he was. For instance, I wouldn’t want to date a sex worker or a Foxton’s Estate Agent, a criminal, or anyone who traveled a lot for their job. I’d be fine with the traveling or the Foxton’s Estate Agent if it was just a one night stand (not the sex worker or criminal, though), but I wouldn’t want to date them.

Kind of, I wouldn’t have dated someone who did something like animal testing, slaughter house etc.

Yes of course it would.

Are you high achieving. Women who hang on their partner's/husbands coattails and take on their achievement is even less attractive.