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AIBU?

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Original poster

Art class before family trip

80 replies

Amoozbooze · 20/09/2024 09:37

There is a fair chance I am being unreasonable but I have lost sight of what is and isn’t normal. I’ll do my best to give all the details so that you can give me your opinions and advice, thank you.

Tomorrow, DD, DH and I have to travel somewhere, it is about 2.5 hours there and back. When we are there we will do some shopping and have a meal. We didn’t set a time but would usually leave around 10 or 11 am for this sort of thing. DD has an art class between 9 and 11 in the morning and I said it was a shame she would miss it. DH said this trip was important to him as he will be leaving for 3 weeks to go to work on Sunday (this is a regular occurrence). I asked if he thought she should go for an hour (finish class at 10am) and he was really angry. He told me I always put her first before him. I said it was only asking and it was fine that she didn’t go but he was so angry that he didn’t sleep all night.

I can understand his point of view but I don’t feel it was such a bad thing to ask. He says I’m thoughtless and don’t consider his feelings and shouldn’t have said that when we were in bed.

AIBU?

OP posts:
OchonAgusOchonOh · 20/09/2024 09:50

If you would normally leave about 10 or 11, it would be perfectly reasonable for her to do the full class and you pick her up and do directly afterwards.

However, that's not the issue. Your dh has completely over reacted to a perfectly reasonable question. Is this normal behaviour for him, because if it is, I would consider it to be abusive. If that is the case, is this an environment you want your child to grow up in? Do you want her to think being treated like this and always putting yourself last is normal?

If it's not normal behavior, I would suggest talking about why he reacted as he did.

Original poster
Amoozbooze · 20/09/2024 09:47

She is 5 and it is only her second week at the class. She loved it last week and has been painting all week because if it.

OP posts:
Original poster
Amoozbooze · 20/09/2024 09:45

It is a very small class so it would be fine, I also suggested we could go to a cafe and have breakfast while she was there, I thought that would have been nice all round .... He isn't always so difficult but he has been a bit stressed over money recently so that probably added to it.

OP posts:
Twilightstarbright · 20/09/2024 09:44

His reaction isn’t normal.

In our family we’d do the art class and drive straight from there with some snacks and go for a late lunch. A regular class is hardly a curveball but his reaction is really odd. I’m guessing she’s quite young in which case yes it’s normal to have to put them first- at 16 I’d expect to leave them to take themselves to art class and home after whilst I did something.

AgentJohnson · 20/09/2024 09:42

Is he always so difficult and jealous. If the art class has no problem with you collecting her half way through a lesson and your DD wants to go, then I don’t see the problem. I wouldn’t not let her go just to appease an adult choosing to act like a child.