To ask if everything collapses at 40?

Do one thing at a time. I would do vitamins including a strong vitamin d. Then eat more fruit/veg. Every time you prepare some fruit/veg for the kids, do some for you.
Drink squash and make a bottle up to take out when you go out.
As for the clothes get some nice boots or trainers as that's low effort and will help all your outfits and is something for every day.
When you get round to your pelvic floor you can pull in your lower belly up to your belly button as well to help with that.
Can't help you with hair and eyes. Dry shampoo gives volume though

It'd be useful if you could give us a time and motion study of your day!
Eg.
5am....

Until
Bedtime.

But in the meantime - add a half- glass of weak squash each day, until you're on six half- glasses each day. Or three big ones. Stand at the sink at bedtime / morning toothpaste time and chug a pint. It'll work.

From my 44th birthday, I had 4 operations in 9 months, had previously been fairly healthy until then. I had a miscarriage at 16 weeks, then I had a diagnostic laparoscopy for gynae issues, then a further one to remove an ovarian cyst & my tubes, then a hysterectomy, was just recovering from the hysterectomy & started with gallstones & had my gallbladder removed 6 weeks later. It felt like as fast as one thing was being dealt with, they found something else or I started with something else. 2 years later, I was diagnosed with ME/CFS, then I tore my rotator cuff & had that repaired. I'm 58 now & have since been diagnosed with Autism, then an underachiever thyroid, then started with peripheral neuropathy, which has left me virtually unable to walk. It's just been one thing after another, I just want it to stop.

Can you just have the tooth removed instead?

husband sounds like the issue tbh. No wonder you don't want to have sex.

I LOVE wine but it defo makes me look tired!

I looked and felt mid-20s at 40, probably because I didn't have kids or have to look after anyone else. I'd kill to be 40 again.

Two things to start you off. One- if you hate drinking water, buy squash. It's better to have very dilute squash than be dehydrated, especially as you head into peri. Two- do you need to get up at 5am? Why? Do you commute, or is there some childcare issue? I would feel very ill indeed if I had to get up at 5am and would change a lot of things to make sure that didn't happen.

If you can fix hydration and sleep, the rest might not seem so bad. It's a starting point at least!

OP, a big recommendation to stop drinking wine in the evenings, it will help so much with everything from crepey eyes to overall motivation (I know because I used to and now I don’t, and life is loads better). I also found the Michael Mosley tip of drinking a big glass of water before a meal really good as it fills you up, and gets the water requirement done.

I developed cystic acne on my face around that time. It was painful and looked awful. I put off going to the GP for ages thinking it wasn't a big enough problem, but she was very sympathetic and prescribed Duac cream which was amazing. I used it for about 6 months and it's actually fully resolved it!

Can't help with the other stuff though. My waist has also disappeared and I have stiff knees.

If you can afford it get a Dermatica or Skin & Me prescription- bung it on and know it’s doing the work.

The usual drink more water, eat more veg, eat less crap applies.

I always find a week or so of yoga and stretching makes my body look better even if I’m carrying extra weight - it’s the most relaxing exercise. 10 minutes before bed is lovely.

One tiny improvement can quickly shift your mindset and get the ball rolling on other good habits.

You need a lifestyle change . Little by little, it's not easy but it will make you feel better .

Start with small things
Hair cut?
Can you treat yourself to your eyebrows and nails once a month ?
Do you have any friends who will go on walks with you a few times a week ?
A shopping trip (doesn't need to be expensive)
How do you eat ?
Do you have a skin care routine ?

44 and I won’t lie, yes at 38/40 suddenly got stomach problems, arthritis in knees, bad back, roseacea and got into the life is a treadmill way of thinking. Myself and dh are having huge problems (possibly splitting up) but I’ve started eg watching Gilmore girls again, reading more, aiming for better sleep (phone off earlier), drinking water again, shaving legs etc. basically starting to feel ‘me’ again. Do you need to do a 5am start? Maybe you need to stay in bed!! think we look after ourselves so much when we’re younger so that could be a contributor. Hopefully things pick up for you op

Try to do 5am starts? Why?

My suggestions:

See the Dr about the acne and low libido
Change your diet: more vegetables, fruit, lean protein, less alcohol more water
Meditation
Yoga
Supplements for your hair
Decent multivitamin
More water