Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To find these loafers for men so so awful

160 replies

fao · 19/09/2024 22:42

Light hearted thread with a hint of real displeasure.

DH loves his black loafers with tassels. Wears them at the office everyday. I was secretly hoping I'd never see them again as they are on their last legs but today he bought a replacement pair on his way home.

I'm going to have to see them for another decade. I hate the tassels. I wouldn't mind plain black boring loafers.

AIBU to be planning ways to disappear them or plotting their untimely demise?

To find these loafers for men so so awful
OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
Bangwam1 · 20/09/2024 16:59

The tassels are special. You can’t allow him to partake in this kind of masochism.

These shoes would be having an accident, most definitely.

LondonPapa · 20/09/2024 16:53

fao · 19/09/2024 22:42

Light hearted thread with a hint of real displeasure.

DH loves his black loafers with tassels. Wears them at the office everyday. I was secretly hoping I'd never see them again as they are on their last legs but today he bought a replacement pair on his way home.

I'm going to have to see them for another decade. I hate the tassels. I wouldn't mind plain black boring loafers.

AIBU to be planning ways to disappear them or plotting their untimely demise?

I actively judge men with tassels. I know they’re meant to be old school but they’re ugly. On the other hand, you’d have to pry my Gucci horsebit loafers from my cold, dead hands!

Nesbi · 20/09/2024 16:52

Americans seem to love loafers, but I tend to think the only people who seem to get away with them are Italian.

Your DH needs to stop being influenced by his US colleagues and get back to some proper Brit footwear. Oxfords if he is trying to look smart, Derby’s if he is dressing it down a bit. He can go with brown Derby brogues at the weekend if he wants to to keep it old school. Stick to places like Cheaney, Trickers, Grenson or if you want to go a bit cheaper Loake. Every time he looks at his loafers you must rap him sharply across the knuckles with it. Eventually he will learn. ;-)

SensibleSigma · 20/09/2024 16:47

@Lollingalong and @fao we have similar menfolk.

I’ve tried to talk to mine about only buying in a limited range of colour, or having sets of clothes that he wears together.

But no. He seems to raid the bowels of hohos wardrobe for the shabbiest, most shapeless or tight clothes he can find, in an array of colours.

Anything decent is kept firmly in its packet until it’s at least a few decades out of style.

Thevelvelletes · 20/09/2024 16:45

Red socks and sta prest circa 79 or mid 70s skin/smoothie wear.

polydactylfeline · 20/09/2024 16:42

Aroastdinnerisnotahumanright · 20/09/2024 11:48

I was expecting much worse, like the ones in worn out leather with square upturned toes.

Edited

I think you're referring to what I call 'Cornish pasty' shoes 😂😂

polydactylfeline · 20/09/2024 16:40

They look like the shoes of someone who has fathered children up and down the country 🤣😆

BobbyBiscuits · 20/09/2024 16:39

Yeah. It's not good at all. It kind of looks a bit 80s, but like the tassels would be on a women's shoe from BHS or something?

citylightsbehind · 20/09/2024 16:36

fao · 20/09/2024 14:36

Ohhh gosh I can so relate to this. Sometimes I am so gob smacked by the combination of clothes he puts together. Beggars belief. I think surely with these combination of clothes that it can't go that wrong... Lately he's been wearing formal shirts UNDER rugby shirts, a couple of buttons of of the rugby shirt will be open so you can see a shirt underneath. Or the hideous shoes with navy chinos and brown socks. It hurts so much.

Edited
Show quote history

Please say you're not married to Steve Bannon? Please?

Or, is it more like

To find these loafers for men so so awful
Quodraceratops · 20/09/2024 14:44

Kelly51 · 20/09/2024 08:44

Jumbo cords? i'm amazed you have a toddler, his dress sense alone is enough to put you off.

On the plus side you could easily find jumbo cords for the toddler to match with daddy

Original poster
fao · 20/09/2024 14:40

Kelly51 · 20/09/2024 08:44

Jumbo cords? i'm amazed you have a toddler, his dress sense alone is enough to put you off.

They were lost in our house move 🥳

OP posts:
Original poster
fao · 20/09/2024 14:36

Lollingalong · 20/09/2024 11:10

Thoughts and prayers OP.

I’m here to join the support group. My husband couldn’t care less about what he wears, which, in theory, is admirable. But I recently had to buy him some new trainers because his had very visible holes in and I knew it wouldn’t bother him until winter truly sets in. He has “loungewear” from when he was 11 (must have been the biggest 11yo ever). I’ve spent the last two decades drip-feeding his worst graphic tees to the charity shop. Even when I try and get him smart, nice things, he manages to make them look like he found them in a skip.

He’s a 45yo hospital consultant. He’s old enough and wise enough to know how to dress, surely?!

(At least he hasn’t got any tassley loafers).

Ohhh gosh I can so relate to this. Sometimes I am so gob smacked by the combination of clothes he puts together. Beggars belief. I think surely with these combination of clothes that it can't go that wrong... Lately he's been wearing formal shirts UNDER rugby shirts, a couple of buttons of of the rugby shirt will be open so you can see a shirt underneath. Or the hideous shoes with navy chinos and brown socks. It hurts so much.

OP posts:
Itonlytakesadiagram · 20/09/2024 14:35

Snaffles, side buckles. I'm dying.

Didn't Peter Kay's uncle nobhead wear these? I say this as having watched a stand up not pretending I know the family.

Arrestable offence imo.

Original poster
fao · 20/09/2024 14:32

jeaux90 · 20/09/2024 11:07

It could be worse, he could have shoes with side buckles.

He recently said he really likes monk shoes 😭😭😭 I think for so long as we are married I will never be able to have an enjoyable shopping trip with DH for how on edge he makes me with his off the cuff comments.

OP posts:
Original poster
fao · 20/09/2024 14:30

MysteriousUsername · 20/09/2024 10:26

Shoes with tassels on are a big dealbreaker for me! I would have run away screaming on the first date. 😂

You have to LTB. Think of the influence he is going to have on your poor child. Leave, move many miles away and go NC.

If I were Prime Minister those abominations would be outlawed.

Thankfully the positive thing is that it is I who choose what DC wears (thank goodness we have a little girl, I am sure he would have more confidence in choice of clothing for her if she were a boy. I am so scared for future boy DCs).

OP posts:
Celticliving · 20/09/2024 14:28

HelenaWaiting · 20/09/2024 10:17

I don't know where you've been, but men have been telling women what they can and can't wear for centuries. Even today, the fashion industry is dominated by men.

Show quote history

Exactly my point.

We should be living in a world where people can wear what they want!

Original poster
fao · 20/09/2024 14:27

minipie · 20/09/2024 09:45

Sounds like he dresses very much like my ILs and their friends. They are very Home Counties and in their 70s and 80s

I see a lot of golf and bridge on the horizon

He is originally from the home counties and prides himself on being a bit old fashioned...

OP posts:
Renamed · 20/09/2024 12:16

Could he not keep them in a locker at work and change into them when he gets there (and OUT of them to come home).
Just think how much longer they will last

luckylavender · 20/09/2024 12:05

Teanbiscuits33 · 19/09/2024 23:10

I’ve noticed these a lot on men recently. I don’t like them either. I know it’s looked down upon these days to espouse gender stereotypes but they look like the sort of shoes my 60+ female teachers wore at school in the early 00s! They definitely give off old lady vibes!

I bought a pair just like this (but oxblood) in M&S this week.

luckylavender · 20/09/2024 12:03

Just flip this & imagine the replies if a woman came on here and said her partner didn't like her shoes...

Purplecatshopaholic · 20/09/2024 12:01

Oh dear. If my partner acquired a pair of those, he’d never have sex again..!

Aroastdinnerisnotahumanright · 20/09/2024 11:48

I was expecting much worse, like the ones in worn out leather with square upturned toes.

Lollingalong · 20/09/2024 11:10

Thoughts and prayers OP.

I’m here to join the support group. My husband couldn’t care less about what he wears, which, in theory, is admirable. But I recently had to buy him some new trainers because his had very visible holes in and I knew it wouldn’t bother him until winter truly sets in. He has “loungewear” from when he was 11 (must have been the biggest 11yo ever). I’ve spent the last two decades drip-feeding his worst graphic tees to the charity shop. Even when I try and get him smart, nice things, he manages to make them look like he found them in a skip.

He’s a 45yo hospital consultant. He’s old enough and wise enough to know how to dress, surely?!

(At least he hasn’t got any tassley loafers).

Combattingthemoaners · 20/09/2024 11:10

😂 they are awful

PercyGherkin · 20/09/2024 11:09

YANBU
I work in a law firm too and I don’t think I have ever looked at the partners’ feet to check out their shoe choices but those are NOT good. The only thing they have in their favour is they aren’t pointy jester shoes worn with skinny trousers.