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Original poster

Friends Husband sending Me MSG - what to do?

139 replies

Coffeeforthee · 19/09/2024 15:42

My Friend is through a Hobby I do 3x a Week.
She doesn't drive so her DH drops her off and collects, I've met him during these occasions over 3 Years, we've also been at the same social events through the Hobby. I would say I'm relatively close to my friend, outside of Hobby we text a few times a week and have had occasional Girls Lunches together too. I've spoken to her DH plenty of times but only polite chit chat, I wouldn't consider him a Friend. My DH hasn't clicked with him on the occasions they've met either, no bad feelings just very different people.
Now the aibu - Friend obviously goes home and talks to her DH about things we've spoken about when meeting up, all fine, I do the same.
But 3 times now her DH has then sent me a text message about those conversations, for instance, I discussed my Dds current issue at College - he text me and asked about it.
AIBU to think this is a little strange, or is he just trying to make Friends?! I haven't replied, just ignored the messages so far Confused

OP posts:
MzHz · 19/09/2024 17:19

I’d block him tbh and tell her I’d done so. It’s not welcome or appropriate for him to text you if you’re not friends

Maray1967 · 19/09/2024 16:57

SonjaBarkerFinch · 19/09/2024 16:05

The only advice I can give you is to ignore the messages. Whenever another woman’s husband messages you - ignore, ignore, ignore.

Agreed - unless he is genuinely involved in DC activities. I have the numbers of two dads of DS’s friends because it’s them as much as their wives who organise meet ups. But that is all we text about - just the arrangements.

GloriousGoosebumps · 19/09/2024 16:53

My advice would be to ignore his messages but what's his personality like on the occasions you've spent time with him? Is he an extrovert - everyone is his new best friend? If that's his personality, then I can see him believing he's as much your friend as his wife is. What I do think would be telling is what exactly he wants to know about your daughter? The questions he raises should tell you exactly what he's up to.

MrSeptember · 19/09/2024 16:50

Very odd. The only time I can see this being appropriate would be in the very specific situation where he has specifi cexpertise. So, for example, if he is in a leadership position at a college and has some specific thoughts that might help or is willing to step in and make a recommendation.

The chances of three very specific situations in which he has really helpful, and unique, insights... seems low to me. Very inappropriate. At best, he's a wanker know-it-all. At worst, he's trying it on.

Starlight1979 · 19/09/2024 16:43

Shiningout · 19/09/2024 15:51

I'd be wondering why she's given him your number in the first place??

Yeah this. I'd be interested to know...

Lavender14 · 19/09/2024 16:13

I agree it seems strange. Either he's not clued in on social norms/ he's overly controlling/ he's a chancer. I'd ignore and find a way to mention to your friend in passing. If you're telling her things in confidence then it's a bit off she's running to tell her husband who's then messaging you about it.

DancingPhantomsOnTheTerrace · 19/09/2024 16:12

for instance, I discussed my Dds current issue at College - he text me and asked about it.

I assume he has no specific knowledge that would make his input useful here?

Sounds weird. Why does he have your number?

Aquamarine1029 · 19/09/2024 16:10

It's very weird and not normal at all. He's a chancer.

SonjaBarkerFinch · 19/09/2024 16:05

The only advice I can give you is to ignore the messages. Whenever another woman’s husband messages you - ignore, ignore, ignore.

Crucible · 19/09/2024 15:55

I would bring it up with your friend; does she know? That's what will tell you.

PassingStranger · 19/09/2024 15:53

Ignore.

Shiningout · 19/09/2024 15:51

I'd be wondering why she's given him your number in the first place??

Scallopp · 19/09/2024 15:49

Hard to say. My DH has a friend who I have dealt with over lifts etc. We have all become friends, and I have just supported him through a bad time. There were plenty of messages between us. Me and my DH are good friends with a couple, we all message one another at various points and asking something like that would be normal.

However, all of the above depends on your closeness. If you're not that close it's odd and I'd feel like he was being strange, if you're close friends it's fine.

RampantIvy · 19/09/2024 15:46

Why does he even have your number? None of my friend's DH's have my number.