Friends Husband sending Me MSG - what to do?

There is no need for him to message you privately.

Any questions about something in your life would be facilitated through his wife.

'Derek has asked me if he can borrow your super duper lawnmower as he's thinking of getting one.'

'Derek wants to go and see XXX film at the cinema and I told him you'd seen it. Is it any good?'

That kind of thing.

Derek is trying to establish a rapport with you and most likely it's behind his wife's back.

Depending what time he messaged us maybe you could reply by saying that you asked your DH and he thinks the answer is..... and that he says "hi", by the way.

That might get over any awkwardness of not replying but stop him from getting flirty with you if that is the long game.

This would really annoy me - seems like a total overstep as your conversation was with your friend, not her partner.

I would bring it up with the friend and mention you find it rather intrusive.

Or alternatively you turn his texts into a group chat with his wife/your friend. Then it flushes him out if she doesn't know without you having to explain why he's texting you and it keeps you looking whiter than white. Just keep it light.

I think it's weird. If I had a friend with an issue that I told my husband about and my husband thought he could help I would either convey the information, or I would say to my friend "my husband might be able to help you with this do you want him to contact you?"

Through bad experiences, I would now treat this with suspicion and yes, find it weird. More often than not, men (including married ones) have disappointed me by trying it on when I thought we were mates or I thought it was innocent when it was not.

Unless you desperately want to be mates with him, protect your friendship and your mate and your sanity and ignore.

I was wondering if she's German.

the next time you see them both together - I would say to him sorry I keep meaning to reply to your message the answer is X...so she knows he has texted you and he knows you want his wife to know about it

Am I though only one who finds the idea of what appears to be an adult human female who can go out/have hobbies/lunch out - gets 'dropped off and picked at yours ' by her DH like some kind of 13 year old. ? That's straight out of the 1950s !

Tell her to learn to drive (unless she has uncontrolled epilepsy or partial sight which I doubt from your description of her activities) then you will never have to deal with or see him again.

My OH never texts anyone 🤣 we hang out together around once a month. From what I gather most of his close friends are female so presume so. Him and my husband have socialised together once or twice.

Maybe I don't find this kind of thing weird because most of my closest friends are male, I can promise you they don't all fancy me either.

I guess if he does it to all his friends so it’s the same treatment it would be innocent, it depends on the situation - how long you’ve known each other, do you socialise all together regularly etc? Does he message your other half? Does she?

I doubt that, yes she knows, and absolute shocker, I've even been over their house while my friend is out and met up with the kids without his wife.

I really don't get what the big deal is.

I think the PPs suggestion is great.

Innocently ask your friend if her DH managed to find the info about the college that he text you about.

Then she is aware and you have shown you have nothing to hide. I suspect he's testing the waters and does indeed fancy you.

You're doing the right thing ignoring him.

Chancer!

He fancies you - does his wife know how often he messages you?

Am I the only one that finds it weird that you find it weird?
You've said that you've hung out with him and his wife on several occasions, maybe he he's picking up the message that you're friends considering your relatively close with his wife.

It would be a little weird if he's just randomly started texting you on your phone number, but if you've given him the number or you're friends on FB and he's messaging you though that, then it's not really that weird.

My friends husband texts me a few times a week, sometimes about things I've spoken to my friend about, like recommendations for things or random pictures of things he thinks I'd find funny or interesting.

Treat it innocently, as it is so far. Be open with your other half about what is happening. If it becomes inappropriate, challenge the bloke. I'm not sure he's actually done anything wrong yet (albeit a bit odd). Not all interaction becomes sexual.

He had no right to save your number .

Id definitely be telling my friend and ask it’s stops

I'd say he's using the information his wife has given him, to try and engage you in conversation via text messages. I suspect once he had you engaged, at some point those text messages from him would start to become a little flirty, just to test the waters! I would continue to ignore the messages. If they keep coming in, then I'd ask your friend why her husband keeps messaging you - keep the texts! I doubt she is aware! And at the moment he's done nothing actually wrong. Eventually, I expect he'll stop because he will realise he's not getting anywhere.

A friend had a situation like this from a layby meet. Geezer kept messaging his DW. Tell your friend register awareness of the situation you never know where it may lead. Also make sure your DH is aware. This way if anything progresses you won't feel stuck and unable to speak up. HF DH could be genuine thinking he can help trying to be friendly, supportive etc or he could be a dog with 2 dicks. This needs pinning down.

Your use of capital letters is Strange

In that case, I'd igore BUT if it doesn't stop, or ramps up, I'd say somethign to her like, "Do you know why your DH keeps trying to talk to me about stuff you and I have talked about? it's a bit odd. hahahaha" or a more direct, "Could I ask you to please either stop discussing our chats with your DH or asking him not to contact me? I don't mind that you talk about stuff, but I talk to you and I don't reall ywant to discuss these issues with him."

I would also find a casual way to mention him messaging you. You want her to know but also to don't want her to think that you are stirring or suspect him of anything. That way if it's behaviour she would have an issue with you are an innocent and honest bystander rather then sneaky (if you kept it secret) or trifling (if you accuse him of inappropriate/weird behavior)

I would wait for an opportunity to say. 'Oh did DH get that thing sorted he mentioned?' or 'oh I looked up that thing that DH mentioned and I found xyz'. Taylor to fit the text conversation.

Block him and ask your friend to tell him to stop contacting you. Very odd.

Forward the messages to her