Friends Husband sending Me MSG - what to do?

He's trying to be friendly imo.

The only way to know is to reply. It's only sinister when it's sinister, but go with your gut.

He’s letting you know that anything you talk about to your friend comes back to him.

You’re not friends. There is no reason for him message you about a conversation he wasn’t party to.

He’s either trying to get close to you. Or he’s sending a message not to get too close. Neither is good.

You could just ask him outright why he’s messaging you. Then you’d know.

I don't think a message from another DH in general is a bad thing, however I would get annoyed if stuff I had talked about with his wife was being followed up on by him. It's just nosey - also it highlights that they have been discussing what you said between them which is fine but you don't have to make it obvious!

It's odd.

Yeah but your message communications probably broadly aligns with your in-person communications... So it's not out of step then.
This guy is on a 'surface level polite' footing, and then is being conversational over text... That's the part that doesn't fit.

I'd ask her in non confrontational way 'why's your DH messaging me about conversations we've had, bit weird!'

And just leave that hanging and see what she says.

You'd keep on doing it even if they didnt reply? (which would indicate they clearly dont want to text with you) 🤔

He is trying to start a dialogue in the hope it goes in a different direction eventually. Had it happen to me but this was in my pre MN days and I naively thought he was being friendly. First compliments then edgy compliments (bet you get a lot of male attention in that outfit you wore the other day) then it definitely ramped up. I said I didnt like it and he didnt stop so I told my friend and showed her the messages. She blamed me for trying to "steal" her husband and never spoke to me again. He is well know for the amount of affairs he has had in the years since but they are still together

Yup- happened to me too. I replied very grey rock responses out of politeness and I didnt want to be "arrogant" in thinking he fancied me. He did. The messages soon started pushing boundaries and then became suggestive and sexual. It was awful. My friend got super angry and ghosted me (still with him I believe) even though I had done nothing whatsoever to encourage him. I sometimes wonder about her and whether she's finally cottoned on to him being a colossal perv and wonder how many other friends she has lost because of him. I hope one day she has the strength to dump him.

If be telling my friend to tell him to stop and also telling her not to discuss our private discussions with him I'd also tell my husband

I think it's weird AF and I dont get people saying it's normal. Its not. You've met him very casually and you didnt deliberately give him your number, nor are you friends with him. It's also weird that he's texting you very random things that you haven't personally discussed with him!

Definitely ignore. This is brewing to become something very destructive and could blow up in your face if you reply. What's even weirder is that he's done it twice more after you not responding the first time- who does that after getting no response the first time?!

I think I'd also be a bit careful what I shared with her too- she's clearly telling him every tiny detail about your life that you tell her.

I agree with PP, he's angling to start conversations with you. If you respond, my guess is it will become sexual very quickly as he clearly doesnt respect your boundaries (because he keeps on doing it despite no response from you)

He’s repeatedly sent you three messages that you have repeatedly ignored? That is so weird.
If someone ignores one message you don’t send two more!! He’s either completely socially inept or he’s trying it on.

My friend’s partner is just like this. It’s like he thinks any friend of hers is also his.

I find it very controlling that she can’t have friendships which don’t involve him.

Our friendship predates their relationship by decades, so I ignore his messages and hope he’ll give up.

It is a bit odd, maybe he's nosey. My DP wants to know the far end of a fart about everything. If I mention something to him (never confidential stuff) but "Sarah says they're thinking of growing they're own veg" I'll get asked 5 questions that I can't answer cos I'm not nosey enough to ask wvery minuet detail 😂 he's just a nosey bugger but wouldn't dream of texting her to ask, he'll ask me to ask next time I see her.

Me too, disappointed now.

Can't you just ask your friend why he is texting you about these things? I would bring it up casually and say you were a bit surprised to hear from him about your DDs performing arts course as you didn't know he had any interest/knowledge of that? Has he even met your DD?

It's one thing for her and her husband to discuss what you talked about but why does he have to call you to ask you about it? I find it weird and would ask her why he is doing it? I mean what's the point?

I find all the animosity odd, i message my husband's friends sometimes or my gay friends partner. I'm just friendly, not like alot of people on mn 😂

Ignore.
Very weird

Please don’t go there. Ignore him, block his number

She already explained how he got her number. Simple solution to posting irrelevant advice would be to read the OPs posts.

Asking for opinions on an anonymous forum isn't dramatic.
OP isn't sure if he has other intentions or not, so going straight to this man or his wife without giving any thought to how to approach the conversation could increase the potential for 'drama'.
Asking for advice on the best course of action seems quite sensible?

One thing I have noticed on here is people not bothering to read the OPs posts in full to find out the facts. Which in this case are that the he has her number because the friend left her phone behind and the OP contacted the husband to let him know.

RTFTA

I wondered that as well

I think OP would know if that were the case

I wonder, @Coffeeforthee
Are you sure it isn't actually you're friend texting you on these occasions, but just from her husband's phone?
Ie: Following up on from your in-person conversations with her?

(Some couples do treat their partner's phones as extentions of their own, for instance if it's closer to hand when a thought occurs, and given that she knows your number is already in it.)

I did as well 😆