Friends Husband sending Me MSG - what to do?

Ignore, say nothing

Tell your husband and let him message your friend’s husband back. Problem solved !
This is a common way for a certain type of man to hit on another man’s wife.

Easiest way just ignore. He'll get the message

The op posted twice on the 19th September. Not sure she’s coming back 😀

Block him.

Do not engage. He is testing the waters. If he really wanted to help with the college thing, he would have told the wife to tell you he'd be happy to do so. Why go behind her back? The fact that this began with a comment about a television programme makes this obvious.

Me too!

It's strange, you're right to be suspicious. Block his number and tell your friend.

I think it all depends on whether your friend knows he's doing it. If she doesn't, then she will do when you tell her, and the sh*t will hit the fan.

This is a tricky one. Imagine if your friend knows he's messaged you and is ok with it. She may be waiting for you to bring it up. If you just block him without saying anything you could end up losing your friend. My advice is to casually mention her husband's input and see how she reacts. If she acts shocked then you at least have been open with her and it's up to her to deal with her husband in whatever way she thinks fit. If she knows about him messaging you then you could say that you felt a bit awkward and go from there.

Agreed...
Why is at home with his wife thinking of things that you would find funny ?
Very odd

He is looking for an excuse to message you. What a chancer. Block and delete him. If there is anything inappropriate tell your friend.

Best to ignore

Hoe he has your number is not the issue, I think most likely to be a chancer, even if he isn't for you he is overstepping a boundary and you do not want to get into these conversations with him which is absolutely fine

I am quite sure he shall not be mentioning to his wife/your friend that you are not replying to his text

In fact the only thing I find weird about this thread, is your response

Yup. Its very weird

Have you read all of OP’s responses?

1. She isn’t close to her friends DH

2. She never gave her number to him. Her friend forgot her phone one day and used OP’s phone to contact her DH. He’s then saved her number himself.

3. He’s messaging OP about things she’s personally discussed with her friend. Not with him. He wasn’t party to the original conversation.

4. He’s persists in messaging OP, despite her not replying the first time and subsequent times.

So, let’s summarise:
Man who has obtained woman’s number through a one off emergency, has saved that number and persists in messaging her, including about personal things she’s never discussed with him. And she hasn’t discussed those things with him because she isn’t a close friend with him. Despite woman not replying, man still continues to text and try and push a conversation that is clearly not wanted.

I find it WEIRD that you can’t see why there may be issues with this.

In fact the only thing I find weird about this thread, is your response.

I'd interpret those as unsolicited messages. I used to get some from a guy I knew vaguely, always late at night when his wife was asleep. Unless I've asked to be friends with them, I'd be blocking them.

I think his intentions are irrelevant. If you're uncomfortable then there's a problem, and you don't have to just put up with being made uncomfortable.
As others have suggested, speak to your friend about it. Maybe send him one message, saying, please don't text me, I'm just not comfortable with it. Then ignore any other messages. That way, you've made yourself very clear, stated your boundary, and been open and honest.

No, they always reply but I cant understand not replying.

Yes I really do get what you are saying, I agree, in an ideal world OP would mention it to friend in passing, who would appreciate the heads up then put a stop to it then continue with their friendship as if notjing hsd happened. Stick together in the sisterhood and all that. But, realistically what could well happen are 1: the DH passes it off as harmless messaging, friend chooses to trust him (on its own innocuous messages are not relationship ending stuff for a lot of people) OP is now stuck getting messages from a man she feels uncomfortable with unless she tells him to stop and offends him/friend. 2. Friend sticks with husband but feels threatened/insecure about her DH contacting OP so backs right off and avoids OP from now on, also likely resenting her. That's what happened to me in this situaton when I told my friend, it was absolutely horrible. OP may now not feel comfortable/welcome at the hobby where she sees friend. 3. OP blocks/avoids him and makes sure he isn't saved in her contacts. I she does have to see him be polite but aloof. He has no messages from her as proof it was a 2 way thing because it wasn't. OP has barely met him so can't be accused of encouraging anything inappropriate. If it ever comes up/gets noticed she just says "oh I was getting texts from unknown/scam numbers so I blocked any I didn't immediately recognise without opening them.". Act oblivious. That covers her if friend checks her DH phone, he can't blame it on OP because he has no messages from her. Also if he is looking to cheat why would he draw his wifes' attention to him messaging her anyway?

I agree OP should 100% tell her own husband. If OP decides to tell friend she should prepare for it to quite possibly go down badly for herself. Even though it's very unfair. After what happened to me in this scenario I would stay out of it. But that's OPs choice!

If his first message didn't begin, I hope you don't mind me messaging. I still have you number from when ...
X just mentioned your conversation re X, I wonder if/I thought you'd be interested in...

Although subsequent messages on other topics would be a bit odd.

FWIW, my bff's spouse never calls or messages me. Anything he ever might want to communicate to me has been through my bff and that's been along the lines of, Oh, btw, Jasper said you might want to contact X for X.
And that's rare, too.

A casual mention is also fine as others have suggested here. Just worth getting it out in the open.

I know she didn’t reply, but I think even if the friend finds out about the messages (even though they are normal) she will wonder why OP didn’t tell her. She doesn’t know what sort of relationship they have, husband could be careless and leave his phone about.

If OP blocks the guy, there may be a situation in the future where she needs to contact him (similar to the reason he got her # in the first place) and her friend may wonder why he’s blocked.

the fact the husband sometimes sees OP albeit not regularly means there will likely be an elephant in the room if he’s messaging and OP’s not replying. Friend will pick up on this.

i think every woman on here would agree they’d want to know if their husband was messaging their mate they barely knew, even if there was nothing sexual or dodgy about it.

She should probably tell her husband too imo. It’s not going to look great if her phone is pinging from her friends’ husband. Even if she blocks this man, if she tells her friend and husband about the messages straight away, it means there is no chance for the friends husband to make up shite like “oh she chatted to me first and she didn’t tell you either” when she inevitably finds out.

screenshots on fb chat/ text can be edited. So it’s best to be honest right now.

Ignore and knock it on the head, he's a married man.
I bet your hobby DF doesn't mention it to you because she doesn't know.

Plus, the other problem is that if OPs friend is aware of the messaging or finds out but is OK with it, then OP will find it much, much harder to ignore it/put a stop to the messages without making a big thing of it and probably offending her friend anyway. It could easily be a lose lose situation for OP. There is no proof OP has received any messages as she has never replied, there is no clear evidence of him trying to cheat, she isn't betraying her friend at this stage by just blocking and opting out of all involvement, but continuing the friendship through their hobby and avoiding the partner.

I would be very uncomfortable with this. He is attempting to build a private connection with you and is trying different approaches, hoping you’ll bite.

@Coffeeforthee, I too would ignore him, and would probably shine a light by casually mentioning to your Friend that you’ve been hearing from him.