My child's bffs mum has died.. Would it be appropriate to bring dd to the funeral to support her friends

I think you have to ask the family. Some people will be happy to have your DD there - some won't. I think you need to think about whether she will cope with it at 10 or not.

I'll be honest, the last thing I'd want at a family funeral would be extra, unknown, weeping kids. That might sound harsh, but I lost my older sister when she was young. It was difficult for us all, coping at the funeral as a family and dealing with our own grief as well as trying to provide comfort for her children.

The last thing we would have wanted was their 'friends' there as well - however well meaning. We didn't need additional upset children.

I think it would be a little unusual perhaps
I thought the opposite, that it would be surprising for OP not to bring her daughter. But then I'm always surprised by people not taking children to funerals in general. We went to plenty of them as children.

I think this is where my thoughts end up. Maybe at the wake it might be nice for her to have her friend there but funeral for a fairly young woman is going to be pretty upsetting

My friend and I went to support our mutual friend at her dad's funeral. I think it helped her a bit, as otherwise most of the congregation were friends and former colleagues of her dad as is pretty normal I guess (and not overly helpful or supportive for his teen children). We were early teens, if that helps.

I think it would be a little unusual perhaps. My best friend recently passed very prematurely leaving a child a similar age, as you can imagine he just wanted to be with his dad and closest family and was very emotional and it was an incredibly sad occasion. Not sure I would have liked to have put that on my own unless absolutely essential.

It isn't troubling them. Message say as DD and friend are really close I'd like to bring her to the funeral. If you'd rather I didn't just let me know.

I suppose firstly I'd be considering if I thought DD was capable of supporting the children, is she up to it?
Secondly then if she is, whether it'd be welcomed by the family, if both are yes then I'd be supporting her and the other children through this time. I think that children support children in a wholly different way than adults ever can, and I'd be encouraging that if it's helpful.

So sorry your dd is going through this.

Simple answer is it's up to the family. But the main thing you can do is encourage your DD to be open and supportive with her friend. She's going to have a rough ride at school and having someone that can just be a friend will make all the difference in the world.

I think she is old enough to go but she may be too distressed to offer support as such.

How close are you to the family?

Absolutely bring her, will be lovely for her friend to have a friend there

Would you not think of asking the family?