5th birthday party in half term

I don't think just inviting the girls is necessarily a bad thing at this point in the year. One of DD's class had a birthday in September and mum invited all the girls. It was at their house, so there would not have been space to have the whole class. If she'd just invited those her child had mentioned so far, that might have been fairly arbitrary, or been almost entirely the ones from the main pre-school (which might be tough for those who had come in from elsewhere who might be slower to make friends). At least "all the girls" is quite clear-cut.

Just a thought but at that age it's also quite common to have joint parties where kids are friends. Half the cost and hassle factor for a whole class party. You do get some random themes which is a bit fun "the princess and the dinosaur" was memorable but there's always one small boy in a dress and a little girl in a t-Rex costume.

Reception age kids often have a birthday chart at school for the month rather than the date (gdpr) up on the wall so sight of that might tip you off to which parents to approach but it's tricky when you don't know many parents yet.

Yeh, at my child's school there isn't a boy/girl split happening yet. All parties are whole-class. There would be an eyebrow or two raised if parents started saying only girls (or boys) allowed at this stage. If you're concerned about your daughter not having made friends, why not just invite the whole class, especially as it's in a village hall?

FWIW, my son is the same age and there have been two parties so far this term. One invited just specific friends (some from each of the 2 parallel classes) and one invited the whole class. Either is fine. From my experience last year, the advantage of inviting the whole class is that they are used to each other so it’s a familiar environment and they play well together. The disadvantage is that the numbers are a bit overwhelming for any party activities (can’t really play pass the parcel with 30 kids) and also kid ends up with WAAAAAY too many presents, which was also actually very overwhelming for my kid.

You don't need to invite the whole class if that isn't what your DD wants. I don't know why you still can't comprehend that the criticism was about excluding the little boys she plays with and wanted to invite, while inviting random other little girls just because you prefer her to be a "princess". They're 4 and 5, but you are putting in artificial friendship rules based on their genitals!!! What is that teaching your DD?

My son has a half term party. I never do it that week, but wait until the week or even two afterwards. First few years always an all-class party, and I often did joint parties to share the costs.

I’ve always set up a separate WhatsApp chat to keep it all separate from the class chat. If the whole class are being invited then initial invitation can go via class WhatsApp, and then add acceptances to the new chat.

It is a minefield when you start out with parties. You have my sympathies.

Personally we never bothered with an entertainer and one who limits the number of kids doesn't sound great tbh. I only mention this with you saying you can't afford a whole class party - I'd save money there.

It's standard practice to avoid holiday parties where we are - all the August babies tend to go in July or September and my winter baby's bffs are never here for hers when it lands in the hols so always celebrate later. This could work out well though - if you are able to invite the whole class it's highly unlikely they'll all make it and numbers should naturally dwindle.

Reception full class parties are a great way to get to know the parents and the kids but you shouldn't feel any pressure to host anything beyond your means. Good luck.

Also OP without sounding dramatic haha, if you’re aiming for that weekend you wanna get your invites out now. Give people 2 weeks to RSVP, then you know your numbers and can finalise party plans etc. My rule of thumb is usually 6 weeks ahead to give the invites out to have enough time to sort! Have you got a venue sorted?

Reception is usually full class parties. My boys have been to plenty of princess parties and had a ball.

October half term - only other thing I’d be mindful of is the Halloween weekend. We’re already busy with a Halloween party at the end of half term! I know not everyone will have plans, but some will - especially as the weekend after will be after it / the Bonfire night weekend.

So she's inviting 8 out of 30? That means she's inviting 8 and not inviting 22. That's completely fine. The ONLY reason that might be tricky is if she's invited all but 1 or 2 of the girls, but it's very unlikely that there's like 9 or 10 girls and 20 boys. Much more likely that there's 15 or so girls, so she's invited between a quarter to a third of the class, 1/2 the girls and a boy. That's perfect!

Every party all my dc attended in reception were whole class parties.
It didn't start becoming selected few until at least halfway through year 1 but mostly year 2.

I don't think you need to be at your whits end about who to invite at all. That sounds perfect. 9 plus 6 making a maxium of 15 and probably 9 or 10 if they don't all come. That's a fine number. 6 is a quarter (maybe less) from her current class, so there is no way it's just leaving out a few people.

5-6 from school and 9 from nursery sounds fine - if she starts playing with someone else a lot between now and the party, they can have a late invite since you aren’t at 20? I can’t imagine any parent being offended by you saying “I hadn’t realised they were friends but she would love to have X at her party.”

Do you do drop off/pick up? If so, ask DD to point out the invited children and just hand straight to parents.

I do think you're wrong. You have a very specific theme. I've never had my dc attend such a specific theme at reception age. If you are thinking of stating wear princess dresses then you're actually not inviting a lot of boys.
At their age friendships change and a boy could be their very best friend. I just think when you're new, don't know any parents, starting off excluding everyone isn't the way to go.

I'd make it a fairy tale theme, Princes amd Princesses, knights, castles, etc as its a bit more open as not all children will want to go in a princess dress.

Playing massively to gender stereotypes at this age is a bit risky imho. Its how you get kids thinking they "don't fit" .

Nobody invites everyone here. There were 44 in reception and now they're in 3 classes of 30, split year 1 and year 2. We've invited 10 to a soft play party (weekend after half term but we are going to 2 on the 26th Oct).

Don't split it on sex. It really is meaningless at that age, you are creating a distinction they don't see.

If you can't have the whole class (id prioritise school mates over nursery kids she'll have forgotten this time next year) I would do max 15 kids, a mix of girls and boys rather than doing most of the class and leaving out a handful.