Is this within the realms of usual in response to a toddler or am I a bloody awful mum?

30 replies

Awfulmumm · 19/09/2024 10:06

Ds is just turned two. I am finding myself really losing patience with him fast. It’s mostly in the morning when I am trying to get him fed and ready as well as myself. DP has left long before ds wakes at 7 and gets back after he’s gone to bed in case anyone asks why he isn’t helping.

This morning for example example ds was trying to stand up in the high chair and crying and pointing to toys he wanted on the table while he ate. I kept going to get some but as I was doing it I was feeling myself getting really stressed about the time. He then wasn’t happy with the toy I had selected. I kept saying ‘ds just sit down, stop this’ on repeat for a little bit. It was awful. He eventually sat down and ate breakfast and things were ok from there.

yesterday he wouldn’t get in the car seat and kept arching his back. I eventually got him in but after a lot of tears from him and me saying ‘for gods sake just sit down’. After I had done it I shut the car door and had to take a couple of minutes as I was in tears myself.

I know this is usual toddler behaviour but I don’t know if my reactions can be quite irritable and I do feel myself get really really frustrated and stressed. I feel awful now as he’s in nursery and I keep thinking I could have just been calmer this morning or not said I was cross to him etc. I am starting to wonder if I need therapy or something to help me better deal with this?

OP posts:

Topjoe19 · 19/09/2024 10:21

I felt like crap when I dropped mine to school this morning as it was so stressful, and they are 7 & 5! I know how you feel.

DadJoke · 19/09/2024 10:19

They really are frustrating. You have to allow lots of time for everything and give up on being on time.

For the car seat I had to make up a game and song where the cuddly car seat would protect her. It was embarrassing, but it worked. It ended with her choosing which cuddly toy she held while driving (hint: it was always the leopard)

When they get sad or angry at something which they cannot have you sympathise with their emotion without giving in, and give them two options both of which are good with you.

Pippa12 · 19/09/2024 10:12

Parenting a toddler is really tough, aslong as you are being firm but not shouting/screaming at him you are absolutely fine.

He should sit down in his high chair because standing up is unsafe, and no he can’t play with toys at breakfast time because he needs to eat. Nothing wrong with that scenario.

The arching of the back for car seats/ prams… enough to evoke tears from the most patient kind.

Be gentle to yourself, getting out of the house in the morning is beyond stressful.

muddlingthrou · 19/09/2024 10:11

I think you're human and navigating a tough phase on your own. As long as you're not getting angry and taking out your emotions on your toddler you're ok.

My DD is 2.5 and we've just come out of a very frustrating phase that sounds similar. She still has her moments, mind you! I try and remind myself that toddlers have no sense of time, so trying to hurry them just gets both of us exasperated. The best bet is to leave PLENTY of time for everything and to use distraction when they're resisting doing something you need them to do (the number of times an imaginary squirrel has come to my rescue 😂).

Just be patient with yourself and your little one and you'll get there. I swear toddlers were sent to test us!

RoaryLion1 · 19/09/2024 10:11

I think this completely normal. Toddlers can be really, really irritating and I’ve often found myself getting frustrated/tearful, especially at bedtimes when I’m also tired (my DS has just turned 3). It’s good that you’re aware of it and that you’re giving yourself a few minutes to calm down if you need it. Sounds like you’re doing a lot on your own - is there any way your DH could be home for morning or bedtime, even a couple of times a week? Do you get a break at weekends?

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