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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this is disgusting?

291 replies

planAplanB · 19/09/2024 09:18

Adult male takes a shower over the bath with the plug in. Gets out and tops the water up to make a bath for the children.

Aibu - yes you're being unreasonable as this saves water.

No - it's disgusting to have your children bathing in their dad's shower water.

Nb: at least four public hairs were spotted floating around in the water.

OP posts:
Chenecinquantecinq · 19/09/2024 13:26

How those of us born in the 70's took our baths (last).😂

littleredcaravan · 19/09/2024 13:21

Everyone in the house should have a right to a nice shower or bath.

I wouldn't bath in someone's shower water and I wouldn't expect my kids to either.

It's not the worst thing in the world but it is a bit grim.

AlexaSetATimer · 19/09/2024 13:19

x2boys · 19/09/2024 12:51

Back in the day the whole family would use the same bath water in a tin bath in front of the fire .

And hygiene standards have improved since then. For most people.

And I bet if you time traveled back and asked people/kids if, money and hot water no problem, they would prefer to have their own clean bath rather than getting the third/fourth round of manky water, they would say yes!

theDudesmummy · 19/09/2024 13:19

Now it does seem really disgusting, I agree. But as a child it was often shared water or no bath at all and we didn't give it a thought. (We didn't have a shower).

Ponoka7 · 19/09/2024 13:18

Twiglets1 · 19/09/2024 13:03

It's good to save time as well as water.

We are under some time pressure in the mornings but do both have a strong preference for a bath. Plus it's what we've always done. Actually, back in the day we might have got in the bath at the same time which I guess some people on this thread would find really disgusting.

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But would you be ok with jumping in a bath that your FIL has been in and left pubes behind?
As said, we aren't that hard up anymore. The children object, so you should be led by them.

PurpleHiker · 19/09/2024 13:16

There's definitely faecal matter in that water - I wouldn't want my kids sitting in that, yuck.

NasiDagang · 19/09/2024 13:14

Mumsnet can be so gross sometimes 💩💩💩

Button28384738 · 19/09/2024 13:10

At first reading it's 🤢
But then when you logically think about it it's it really that bad

Pantaloons99 · 19/09/2024 13:07

It's not going to hurt anyone but feels a bit gross. A grown sweaty hairy man isn't quite the same as young kids sharing a bath.

I'm sure they'll be alright and no harm will come tho

Twiglets1 · 19/09/2024 13:03

jen337 · 19/09/2024 12:58

It’s 2024, not Victorian times, bath water’s not that precious.

It's good to save time as well as water.

We are under some time pressure in the mornings but do both have a strong preference for a bath. Plus it's what we've always done. Actually, back in the day we might have got in the bath at the same time which I guess some people on this thread would find really disgusting.

MaybeSmaller · 19/09/2024 13:00

Bathing kids together to save time and water is one thing. Bathing in an adult's already used shower water? Boak, and that's not just modern sensibilities, I'd have been horrified as a child 40 years ago if an adult had expected me to take a bath in their grim used water.
If that water is really clean enough to bathe the children then Dad didn't really need a shower after all, did he? He can always use the water after the kids have been in if he still wants a wash.

jen337 · 19/09/2024 12:58

It’s 2024, not Victorian times, bath water’s not that precious.

Twiglets1 · 19/09/2024 12:58

ThatsNotMyTeen · 19/09/2024 12:54

I don’t bathe anyway, we are a shower household. I haven’t had a bath at all in our “new” bath and we’ve had it 3 years

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Different strokes for different folks.

We've got a new en suite and I've barely used the shower because I'm a bath person. The only time we use the shower is when we have guests visiting then we let them use the main bathroom & we stick to the en suite.

Funnily enough I've never thought at least no pubes today but maybe I will next time I shower, after this thread.

jen337 · 19/09/2024 12:57

Mumsnet: owning a loo brush, leaving food out overnight, washing your bedding less than twice a week, using dish cloth more than once: grim 🤮
Also mumsnet: pets rubbing their arses on pillows, shoes on in the house, sharing bath water 🤩

Efacsen · 19/09/2024 12:56

Twiglets1 · 19/09/2024 12:53

But then I would have to as well and I truly can't be arsed.

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Sorry seem to have messed up the quote function - I meant the OP's husband not yours!

NewGreenDuck · 19/09/2024 12:56

SlugsWon · 19/09/2024 12:45

In my house baths go:
DH first (scalding hot)
Then me (still v hot)
DS (normal hot)

No one in my house pulls the plug on a bath without first ascertaining no one else wants in! This is our normal. We are clean, hygienic, still alive, not poor, just seemingly unable to pour gallon upon gallon of hot water down the drain without getting as much from it as possible! It's normal op, and yabu

You could actually get several showers from the amount of water used for 1 bath. I demonstrated that to my husband years ago.

Monkey1z · 19/09/2024 12:55

I’d rather take fewer showers with my own water than do this!

ThatsNotMyTeen · 19/09/2024 12:54

Twiglets1 · 19/09/2024 12:53

We will have to agree to disagree because I still feel clean having a bath after my husband and I smell clean too 😀

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I don’t bathe anyway, we are a shower household. I haven’t had a bath at all in our “new” bath and we’ve had it 3 years

Twiglets1 · 19/09/2024 12:53

Efacsen · 19/09/2024 12:52

Perhaps he could shave his pubes - that might partly solve the problem?

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But then I would have to as well and I truly can't be arsed.

Twiglets1 · 19/09/2024 12:53

ThatsNotMyTeen · 19/09/2024 12:50

Having sex with them isn’t the same as bathing in a soup of their pubes, sweat and other bodily excretions as a means of getting myself clean!

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We will have to agree to disagree because I still feel clean having a bath after my husband and I smell clean too 😀

Efacsen · 19/09/2024 12:52

Twiglets1 · 19/09/2024 12:47

I was referring to people feeling disgusted that couples would share the same bathwater because there might be a stray pube or two in there.

Although pube "infested" is a strange choice of word. Do you think there is something inherently disgusting about pubic hair? It's just hair at the end of the day.

Edited
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Perhaps he could shave his pubes - that might partly solve the problem?

bazoom · 19/09/2024 12:51

planAplanB · 19/09/2024 12:40

Why would having sex with my husband be a factor in whether or not it's gross for my children to bathe in his pube infested bath water?

4 pubes is hardly infested, but I get your point... show him some of these responses and let him know the general "on the street" view is that it's no longer acceptable as from today😃

bringincrazyback · 19/09/2024 12:51

You can tell none of us use immersion heaters anymore.

That's so true, come to think of it. I'd forgotten how much of a pain it used to be getting the water hot enough for a bath in the first place.

x2boys · 19/09/2024 12:51

Back in the day the whole family would use the same bath water in a tin bath in front of the fire .

ThatsNotMyTeen · 19/09/2024 12:50

Twiglets1 · 19/09/2024 12:35

Yes but she didn't say the bath was filled with pubes did she? You said pube filled bath which is very different from a couple of pubes.

You lot make me laugh acting so horrified at the thought of your partner's pubes. Don't you have sex with them?

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Having sex with them isn’t the same as bathing in a soup of their pubes, sweat and other bodily excretions as a means of getting myself clean!