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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this is disgusting?

291 replies

planAplanB · 19/09/2024 09:18

Adult male takes a shower over the bath with the plug in. Gets out and tops the water up to make a bath for the children.

Aibu - yes you're being unreasonable as this saves water.

No - it's disgusting to have your children bathing in their dad's shower water.

Nb: at least four public hairs were spotted floating around in the water.

OP posts:
Chenecinquantecinq · 19/09/2024 14:00

andHelenknowsimmiserablenow · 19/09/2024 13:55

Also born in 60s and also made to share bath water. I hated, hated, it, and have never let my family do the same.
I won't even go in a jacuzzi lol.

Edited
Show quote history

Ha me neither not even our own one! I’m trying to assess from this thread how normal it was to share bath water in 60’s/70’s. I thought it was pretty standard but seemingly not. Was it a class thing? My parents were working class but self made and we had money and they sent me to Independent School but we still shared the bath water. Fascinating.

Twiglets1 · 19/09/2024 13:58

jen337 · 19/09/2024 13:51

If you care that much have a shower. And if you’ve time for a bath in the morning you’re not really under that much time pressure. Bathing together fine but ime it’s usually not about getting clean then is it?

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I prefer a bath which I already said, and I do consider myself to be clean. And why are you talking to me so nastily, would you do that if I was in front of you?

Mizztikle · 19/09/2024 13:57

This is completely different to sharing a bath, I've let my baby get in if he woke up when I've just gotten in the bath but I wash him off after, then myself. I would never let him bath in my dirt, dead skin cells. Its totally unnecessary unless you have a water meter and you pay by the gallon, Even then hygiene is not an area I would scrimp on.
Even if there was a water shortage I'd let the child shower first and then I'd be the one getting in their water.

andHelenknowsimmiserablenow · 19/09/2024 13:55

theDudesmummy · 19/09/2024 13:41

I was born in the sixties and I lived in a place of intermittent great water scarcity. I got the bath water second, after my mother (my father bathed in the mornings and us at night). (My little brother and I shared the same bath until I was eleven, after that he got the water last). It's not just in the Victorian era!

Also born in 60s and also made to share bath water. I hated, hated, it, and have never let my family do the same.
I won't even go in a jacuzzi lol.

Beamur · 19/09/2024 13:55

Bit gross.
Let everyone have a quick shower if you're trying to minimise water/heating.

Chillilounger · 19/09/2024 13:55

If you don't have to then don't. Some people do.

Cas112 · 19/09/2024 13:52

idnhxun · 19/09/2024 09:26

Maybe ok if mommy did it, but a huge sweaty man... no way

Do you know women can sweat as well Confused

Legoninjago1 · 19/09/2024 13:52

No that's horrible. Let the kids have a quick shower too.

jen337 · 19/09/2024 13:51

Twiglets1 · 19/09/2024 13:03

It's good to save time as well as water.

We are under some time pressure in the mornings but do both have a strong preference for a bath. Plus it's what we've always done. Actually, back in the day we might have got in the bath at the same time which I guess some people on this thread would find really disgusting.

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If you care that much have a shower. And if you’ve time for a bath in the morning you’re not really under that much time pressure. Bathing together fine but ime it’s usually not about getting clean then is it?

FarmersWife2019 · 19/09/2024 13:50

I wouldn’t want to bathe my children in their dads (or my) shower water. The whole point of a shower or bath is to be clean after it so washing in someone’s used water wouldn’t be for our family. I also wouldn’t bathe in my children’s bath water. I once showered over my sons bath and couldn’t help but think of all of the wee I was stood in. It’s personal preference so you do you.

Moonshine5 · 19/09/2024 13:50

I think NO.
I might be aibu but
Adult male germs/ bacteria
Any leakage that's on his "genitalia" area

Flopsy145 · 19/09/2024 13:46

I've had a shower with my daughter and then when I'm done I put the plug in and she stays in for longer to play etc. but I wouldn't put the plug in whilst I was still showering, especially if shaving.

PassingStranger · 19/09/2024 13:45

No. Just no.

ThatsNotMyTeen · 19/09/2024 13:43

Chenecinquantecinq · 19/09/2024 13:26

How those of us born in the 70's took our baths (last).😂

Not me

PandaWorld · 19/09/2024 13:43

I used to have an old school friend whose family did this.
It used to gross me out and still does. Rightly or wrongly.

gamerchick · 19/09/2024 13:42

MonsteraMama · 19/09/2024 09:26

Oh god not this again. I remember the sharing bathwater thread where I learned how many people are comfortable jumping into their significant other's human soup, and now we've got kids bathing in their dad's pube broth.

Yes it's gross. I'm constantly baffled by this website. 90% of the time people are tremendous germaphobes who are absolutely ridiculous about cleanliness, except when it comes to wallowing in someone else's dirty lukewarm bathwater, then it's party time. Madness.

I remember past sharing bathwater threads and they were all weird. Families using the same bathwater. People jumping in after their blokes. Poor kids, always got the short straw. Kids don't deserve a fresh bath apparently.

Course it mostly seemed like the men went first.

Nothing changes.

theDudesmummy · 19/09/2024 13:41

I was born in the sixties and I lived in a place of intermittent great water scarcity. I got the bath water second, after my mother (my father bathed in the mornings and us at night). (My little brother and I shared the same bath until I was eleven, after that he got the water last). It's not just in the Victorian era!

GigiAnnna · 19/09/2024 13:40

I think it's alright as long as he's generally a clean person and it's not his weekly shower. One of my kids will often get a quick bath before school in my used bath water. It saves time, money and water, when there's lots of us in the house that need to get ready and out the door of a morning. I don't think this is much different.

Mycatisbetterthanyourcat · 19/09/2024 13:40

It's gross sorry, the water is dirty. There's no need to wash your kids in dirty water. I know it was norm in the past but things have moved on. All the sweat and skin particles and pubes, in your kid's bath.....

Twiglets1 · 19/09/2024 13:39

Ponoka7 · 19/09/2024 13:18

But would you be ok with jumping in a bath that your FIL has been in and left pubes behind?
As said, we aren't that hard up anymore. The children object, so you should be led by them.

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Well if your children object that's a reason not to ask them to share second hand water but OP didn't say her children objected.

And no, I wouldn't share bath water with my FIL but I share a lot of stuff with my husband I wouldn't with him.

EI12 · 19/09/2024 13:36

This is so disgusting, I don't want to believe this is a genuinen post.

Chenecinquantecinq · 19/09/2024 13:33

Now we have a Japanese bath (it's enormous) and the correct use is to shower before you bath so that you are completely clean before. Obviously a reaction to having to share bathwater as a 70's child 🙃

sunsetsandboardwalks · 19/09/2024 13:33

x2boys · 19/09/2024 12:51

Back in the day the whole family would use the same bath water in a tin bath in front of the fire .

We also used to chuck piss and shit out of the windows and into the street.

rainbowstardrops · 19/09/2024 13:28

It's absolutely grim. Is he a tight arse in other respects too?

Frozenberries · 19/09/2024 13:28

Flopsythebunny · 19/09/2024 10:13

You would have been horrified if you'd been us as children. We didn't have a bathroom, tin bath used to be brought into the kitchen once per week, adults bathed first, then children in order of age apart from babies who were bathed in the kitchen sink

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That is also gross. But times have changed now and people have showers and bathtubs installed, not tin ones that have to be brought out once a week for everyone to sit in everyone’s else’s dirty water. There’s no reason now to expect kids to sit in a bath full of dirty water with bits of dirt, used soap, dead skin and pubes in it when they could just have a fresh bath or shower if you don’t want to use too much water.