To think this is disgusting?

@MonsteraMama

I'm relaxed about hygiene but this is a step too far. A quick shower for kids if money is very tight would suffice
Not good for kids thinking they don't deserve clean bath water!

I don't normally do the - but other people have it so much worse - thing, but chances are good that every single person on this thread has bathed in clean, hot water more or less recently. Probably none of us smell, or are rank or disgusting, or in need a green disgusted face emoji.

Even the bath water share-ers, are luckier than the majority of humans throughout civilization. We're all clean enough.

Because water cools down? And we're saving water and saving heating the water.
Because we're not generally that dirty that anyone is bathing in shit residue, bum sweat is not an issue!

I feel like we are very different people, you and I. I don't wash my towels after every use, I've never bought zoflora, I am - by Mumsnet standards - a filthy slattern 😁

And yet, my family continues to live healthily.... Dunno how we've managed to keep going all these years despite the bum sweat, but here we are, all still alive and kicking!

The OP said her 8 year old refused to get in and her DP thought that they were out of order. We aren't talking about adults and sharing with the person you have sex with.

It's gross, I'd absolutely put a stop to it.

Why wouldn't you do it the other way round with fresh water for your DC and top up hot water as you go? Why oh why would anyone want DC to bathe in 3rd hand water with adult bum sweat, shit and piss residue? Just disgusting😩

Yes it's gross and unsanitary. Tradition is that if you must all use the same water, you bathe the youngest first. Presuming all are in good health and reasonably clean.

I agree with you OP.

Nah, that's rank🤢🤢

@Twiglets1 I think I was typing as you were replying.

We used to have to share bath water as a kid, my step dad was hairy and his pubes would fill the tub, it was disgusting as I’d have to pick them off me. Put me off hairy men for life.

Ok that’s fair. ✌️
.

Yes I have addressed that above (missed that later post until now). OP did the right thing in not forcing her child to do something they felt uncomfortable about.

I guess it’s good he’s trying to save water but this isn’t the way to do it.

If he’s concerned about the water usage then why not tell him to bath the kid first and then he get in the bath after him.

A quick shower is not enough for a bath anyway so he’s not even saving that much.

It’s not the worst thing in the world, I know many men (and women) who bathe with their kids but it just seems unnecessary.

@Twiglets1 in a later post, OP says her 8 year old refused to get in, quite rightly, and she pulled the plug and made a fresh bath.

Ok I missed that post and would say that in her situation, I wouldn't make my children share a parents bathwater.

But I still don't see anything intrinsically wrong with it, it's something loads of people do without coming to any harm and as I have said, I share bathwater with my husband and we don't mind. If someone feels grossed out by it though then they shouldn't do it/be made to do it.

@EPankhurst I agree. Really unreasonable to expect your kids to wallow about in your pube water if you can afford separate showers etc.

@Chenecinquantecinq I think it's more to do with how you heated the water. We were sharing bath water in the 90s, totally normal in my family and DD and I did when she was little, we got a shower when she was about 11 so I guess stopped then, it wouldn't have even entered my head to empty a full bath just to put some fresh water in. Pretty sure my parents still do now although they have a shower too now and might shower off after but I doubt it.

I was brought up with an immersion heater and my mum had baths at volcanic heat.

OP did say her child objected and wouldn’t get in after seeing the pubes

I am firmly in the camp of children can use the water first then adults at the end. If the 8 year old is grossed out by it, PARTICULARLY if they are finding pubic hairs FFS, that should be respected.

We aren't in the 1950s, and OP's household isn't in poverty, we have access to enough hot and clean water for everybody.

It did come across quite rude the way you said "if you care that much have a shower" etc when I had already explained I don't like showers, I prefer baths. I try to be polite in my responses on this thread even though I think some of the opinions are strange.

We're all different & it's personal preference so let's keep it polite at least.

The government advised bath sharing/shallow baths during the miners strike in the 1970s

Didn’t mean it nastily at all, it was just dashed off. I meant showers are better for saving water, I think of baths as a leisurely activity not something you do in a rush, and I think of bathing together as more about having sex than getting clean.

I wouldn't have wanted to get into my dads pube infested bath water as a child. It's gross. We did share bath water and it was nasty. I'm glad I don't have to now.