Please help I’ve lost all perspective - ASD teenager

I would give her some loops and some melatonin.
She's 13 and not 7.
She will have to adapt and survive a bit.
I say this as someone diagnosed autistic at 17.
You are not to be kept a prisoner in your own home by her tantrums. Not saying buy a drum kit and practice but you know... general household noise is acceptable.

She sounds very anxious about the possibility of not sleeping. If she's lying there working herself up about insomnia, waiting for the first noise to come and feeling that any slight noise will determine whether it's going to be a good night or not, she's likely to be flooded with adrenaline. I don't have any answers, sorry, but would suggest that black-and-white thinking may be the issue here. If what I suspect is true, then she will be more comfortable if she realises that sleep is still possible after interruption, and then she will be more physically relaxed and able to sleep (that's not very helpful of me - overcoming those patterns of thought isn't as easy as realising it needs to be done). But if she is tightly wound up, storing up all the energy she needs for an emotional flare up the moment someone makes a noise, then how can she physically get into that sleepy mode?

Sympathies to you - sounds really unpleasant for everyone.

First thing I want to say is please get this moved from AIBU. Lots of people will probably jump in, most of whom are unlikely to have any experience of ASD. There is a dedicated SN Teenagers Board if you want to ask @MNHQ to move it over there?

Well done too for rearranging the house, that took effort and shows her that you're taking this seriously.

Some things that have helped here are listening to a guided meditation to do with sleep abc hard physical exercise like running, Hockey, Skateboarding.

The thing that's dramatically changed things though is Melatonin. It's not a magic cure and doesn't suit everyone but for us it's been transformative.

She needs to make a choice of soundproofing of some kind to assist the sensitivity. You'll be castigated here for daring to find this difficult and told it is up to you to accept everything she demands or you're a horrible ableist NT parent, but it isn't.

Insist on ear plugs. Even if that means trying out a few types, there are headband ones with build in speakers if she doesn’t like the sensation of in ear ones.

if she ever wants to cope in university halls/a shared house/an apartment building/a city centre etc she’ll have to learn to tolerate others - unless she can live like alone in the middle of nowhere