Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

First name change (Male) 29

28 replies

OmegaAve · 19/09/2024 01:25

Hi, I have been considering changing my first name for about 4 months, but I have been unsatisfied with my name for years.

No one who isn't a close friend has ever been able to pronounce it. No teacher, acquaintance or colleague. Its so unusual that I've never seen someone in my country even online with my name ever. I live in the USA.

My fear is that if I change it at this late stage in my life (I'm 29, will be 30 in 5 months) I will arouse suspicions by potential employers, I work in tech and have been working for 8 years tho i've been unemployed recently.

I also have some irrational fears about me starting my own business.. what if someone finds out I changed my name and they no longer trust me anymore, and I lose relationships, money and my biggest fear is losing my reputation completely.

I have been going from confident to extremely fearful. I even wake up in the middle of the night. I found this thread while researching other similar users and it seemed to have the most reasonable users. AIBU.

OP posts:
Garlictest · 19/09/2024 02:44

I'm sorry you feel so anxious about this. It's a really normal situation, you know - people who are known by their childhood nicknames or stage names abound, as do others who change their names for personal reasons like wanting to associate or dissociate with family traditions.

US legalities around name changes differ from ours in the UK (we're very lax!) so you'll need a professional steer on that but, for all everyday purposes, you can simply start using your chosen name.

Check with organisations like your banks, professional bodies and tax office whether they require a legal declaration. As PP points out, most people get round this by calling themselves John 'Rocky' Smith - they're widely known as Rocky but their given name isn't a secret. A UK bank would include the Rocky if you asked them to, and the name on your driving licence is changed with a simple form.

Whether you opt for the informal route or a full-on legal change, go for it and enjoy your new name!

How to change your name and what government agencies to notify | USAGov

If you change your name through marriage, divorce, or court, find out how to update it with Social Security, the motor vehicle office, and other agencies.

https://www.usa.gov/name-change

MeAgainAndAgain · 19/09/2024 02:21

Are you British? If you’re from the US you’re better off asking on a US based site eg Reddit. The two countries will have very different legalities.

BlunderMifflin · 19/09/2024 02:00

Can't you just introduce yourself like "my name is (real name) but I prefer to go by (preferred name)?