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Original poster

Is this normal 6 year old behaviour?

42 replies

Notanothermondaymorning · 18/09/2024 21:51

Posting here for traffic really.

My son has just turned 6 and started Year 1. His school mixed up classes after reception and so he has been separated from a friend that he was very close to. Not a bad thing in some respects but I think son is struggling to adapt. He seems to be struggling to make new connections - he is hard of hearing which probably doesn’t help. But he can also be impulsive and do/say things without thinking- sometimes these things can be a bit unkind. He is not unkind, he is a very caring and empathetic little boy but it’s like sometimes he cannot resist the urge. When asked why he did/said it he often can’t say why. He also talks a lot and never stops moving. He fidgets constantly and can’t help himself by touching and picking up and fiddling with anything close by. He does crave social interaction with others, he desperately wants to make new friends and he enjoys every other aspect of school but I’m not sure if I should be concerned at this stage or not? His learning is great and teacher has no concerns academically. I don’t think it’s ASD as so many of the criteria he doesn’t meet but I wondered if it was too soon/minor to be thinking about ADHD? I don’t want to label or diagnose my son but I also don’t want him to struggle unnecessarily. Thoughts/advice appreciated

OP posts:
Renamed · 18/09/2024 23:21

This is reminding me a bit of my nephew several years ago - told to put his shoes on and found five minutes later shoeless on the trampoline. He did need grommets for his ears, also they removed any high sugar and artificial additives from his diet and it helped enormously.

Later on he did get a diagnosis of ADHD. And so did his dad.

OhMaria2 · 18/09/2024 23:14

I've taught year one and I've taught Reception. I HATE it when they mix the classes, it can be devastating for children to lose their friend and it can affect behaviour for a long time. They will only see their old chum at break times and often they've bonded with their new class mates and are less interested in the old friendship. New friendships can be hard to break in to.
Big hugs because year one can be a rough year for many littlies

Original poster
Notanothermondaymorning · 18/09/2024 23:04

I guess what I’m asking is are all children of this age to prone to behaving like this at times? Is it likely to be something he grows out of?

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Original poster
Notanothermondaymorning · 18/09/2024 23:02

But he can also be very sensible, obedient and well behaved. Totally depends on the enviroment, how he feels/how he slept etc on the day, his mood. He isn’t the sort of child to take risks or disobey instructions and run
across a road etc but more likely to see another child’s sandcastle and stamp on it. That kind of thing. It’s like he doesn’t consider the consequences of the action before doing it. If I talk to him about it, he concedes that it’s unkind and wouldn’t like it done to him but can’t explain why he did it!

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Bollihobs · 18/09/2024 23:01

I'd definitely pursue a diagnosis of his behavioural traits but in terms of friends would Cubs or similar be an option?

It might suit him to be in a situation that's 'friendly' but where the interactions are activity based rather than on his own initiative and being inclusive is part of the dynamic. It would take the dependency off school being his only source of friends.

Original poster
Notanothermondaymorning · 18/09/2024 22:58

He’s usually great one on one. We’ve had a few play dates and he gets on just fine but put him back in the classroom environment and it’s like they never happened and he doesn’t engage with the child in the same way. I just don’t get it! Am I expecting too much from him at this stage?

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Noseybookworm · 18/09/2024 22:54

Poor impulse control is a very common feature of ADHD - if he is also fidgety and restless, it might be worth asking for him to be assessed. I wouldn't worry too much about him making friends, he's very young and it's early days in his new class. Can you suggest inviting one or two classmates to play after school, meet up in the park or come for tea? He might do better in a one to one situation with less noise and distraction and you can be on hand to correct him if he blurts out something unkind!

Original poster
Notanothermondaymorning · 18/09/2024 22:51

Other times he seems to find it difficult to follow instructions, he appears to be in his own world. I have to ask him a million times
to put his shoes on or not to touch something. It’s like he zones out. But then other times, he is being silly and can’t seem to stop himself.

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Original poster
Notanothermondaymorning · 18/09/2024 22:47

but he can also be extremely kind and thoughtful to others so it is not a consistent behavior. Not every interaction with the other children is negative, many are positive. But it’s like the devil takes hold and he can’t hold it in

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Original poster
Notanothermondaymorning · 18/09/2024 22:45

He is definitely worse when he’s tired and he’s VERY tired at the moment for a number of reasons

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Original poster
Notanothermondaymorning · 18/09/2024 22:44

He has sensorineural hearing loss in both ears and wears hearing aids. He does struggle to hear in large groups/ambient noise despite the aids. We of course reiterate the message that saying unkind things is wrong and that other children won’t want to be his friend if he continues but in the moment, he can’t seem to help himself. It’s nothing major, but unkind all the same. One example would be when he knocked over another child’s building in the block area for no reason or told a child he didn’t like the dress she was wearing

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KellyJonesLeatherTrousers · 18/09/2024 22:36

If he is saying unkind things, it is easy to deduce why a child might respond to say that they didn’t want to be friends. Is he learning that saying kind things means he will build friendships?

Flashcardsagain · 18/09/2024 22:35

What's the cause of his hearing issues. If it's glue ear then his sleeping could be affected which would cause him to be a bit unpredictable at school if he's overtired.

balzamico · 18/09/2024 22:33

I think it's never too early to research and consider ADHD but you really need to get his hearing sorted if you can as equally that may causing him issues and will really impair his learning ( if you can't hear it properly you don't tend to say it or be able to spell it well)

Original poster
Notanothermondaymorning · 18/09/2024 22:16

Anyone else?

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Original poster
Notanothermondaymorning · 18/09/2024 22:02

Thank you. It does worry me though as I hate the thought that he might go through school with no friends and not knowing how to make any. The friend he did have (they still play at lunch etc) was an easy friend for him to make as they’d known each other since they were younger and were very similar in lots of ways. It also helped that my son was dominant and his friend more submissive so happy to
be in my sons shadow so to speak. Not sure that that dynamic was a healthy one but not sure my son is finding it easy to relate to the other children where the dynamic is different. It’s heartbreaking to be told that other children have told him that they don’t want to be his friend but is that just what kids this age do? I mean, they can be absolutely brutal to each other can’t they? I don’t think my son sits alone all day but he doesn’t seem to be developing any meaningful connections yet. He is definitely socially motivated but it’s like he’s going about it all the wrong way. Are these just things he’ll learn over time?

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GrazingSheep · 18/09/2024 21:55

He he 6. He has hearing problems. I think it’s fine and please don’t worry.