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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Off sick right before holiday, WIBU?

54 replies

pebblesthemonkey · 18/09/2024 16:17

I came down with what I assume was either a stomach bug or food poisoning last night. I was up being violently ill all night and still felt like death this morning so did not go into work today.

I still feel rough. I'm no longer running back and forth to the bathroom and have managed to keep some toast down this afternoon, I just feel wiped out. I'm pretty sure I will be able to drag myself into work tomorrow. BUT we go away on Friday. DH booked us a special mini-break for our anniversary, it's been planned for months.

DH thinks I should take tomorrow off to rest and recover fully so I can enjoy our long weekend away. I think that being off sick and then going on holiday the next day looks bad and that if I can go into to work tomorrow I should, even if I'm not feeling 100% because that's what I would usually do.

WIBU?

Not sure if this is relevant but I'm not taking any annual leave, Friday is my day off anyway.

YANBU- I'm right, I should go into work tomorrow as I'm physically able to do so and it would be bad form to go away straight after being off sick.

YABU- DH is right, I should take another day to rest and recover fully so I'm feeling better for our trip.

OP posts:
Ineffable23 · 18/09/2024 19:43

Can you do any work from home, or is it working at work or nothing at all?

I'd ring my boss and ask them and they'd tell me they didn't want me anywhere near them, I think. But I would want to offer to come in so that they didn't think I was skiving.

Minimum85percentCocoa · 18/09/2024 19:38

I don’t think there’s a ‘correct’ answer here, but please ignore people saying you are selfish to consider going in(?!) In many work places you are aware you’re putting more burden on your colleagues for every day that you are absent, and I think this is where you are coming from.

I agree with the advice to disregard the holiday as a factor in your decision making, and go in if you normally would do with the way you are feeling, stay away if you feel too ill.

For what it’s worth, I think it’s better to stay away a little longer to ensure a full recovery rather than going back when you feel ‘just well enough’, as this can extend recovery time and potentially mean you’re off again because you hadn’t fully recovered.

Garnet6 · 18/09/2024 19:28

Another vote for stay at home tomorrow. I wouldn't risk passing it on to your colleagues. Why do people at work need to know you're going away?

Zanatdy · 18/09/2024 19:18

I don’t think many workplaces would have a 48hr policy. We can work at home so when people are sick they will stay home out of courtesy of not passing on illness, but of course that only works if you’re able to work from home. If I was feeling better I’d go in, so I wasn’t paranoid about anyone knowing I’d gone away and making negative comments as you know what the busy bodies in each office are like.

AzureSheep · 18/09/2024 19:14

In an ideal world, you’d have a lovely supportive workplace where they wouldn’t want you to come in if there was a risk of spreading whatever it is you have. In the real world, most places want you in whether you’re well enough or not, because you’re a business asset, not a human.

It sounds like you’re fearful they’ll think you’re trying to extend your time off, rather than believing that you’re sick. Are they likely to be like that?

I don’t think you’re well enough to work if you’re saying you can drag yourself in. You need to recover.

howtostoptime · 18/09/2024 19:06

meieixhw · 18/09/2024 19:04

@pebblesthemonkey you're selfish if you go
Into work and give whatever disgusting bug you have to your colleagues so you can go on holiday feeling good that you went into your work before your holiday

If you husband catches your bug and you can't go on holiday. It would serve you right

Exactly this. What’s wrong with some people..

Icanwalkintheroom · 18/09/2024 19:06

I work in a primary school and even we only have a 24hr policy…and I can’t say there’s any more absence from sickness than any school I’ve worked in with a 48hr one.

If you feel up to work tomorrow you should go in. Resting up for your weekend is not a reason to be off.

Hope you feel better soon

howtostoptime · 18/09/2024 19:05

pebblesthemonkey · 18/09/2024 18:55

Do you mean selfish for thinking of going into work? Or selfish for thinking of taking the day off? Because although the concensus on this thread so far seems to be i'd be selfish to go in, I've worked in places where it was considered selfish to take time off unless you were very, very unwell.

Show quote history

Selfish to go in obviously. I’d be pissed off with you.

meieixhw · 18/09/2024 19:04

@pebblesthemonkey you're selfish if you go
Into work and give whatever disgusting bug you have to your colleagues so you can go on holiday feeling good that you went into your work before your holiday

If you husband catches your bug and you can't go on holiday. It would serve you right

Hobbesmanc · 18/09/2024 19:02

Not everyone gets full sick pay and SSP doesn't pay out for a day. It's not always as clear cut as taking 48 hours in many lower paid or temp and agency jobs.

Canadianmaple · 18/09/2024 18:57

Have you actually asked your manager or are you just presuming that’s what your workplace does, I can’t believe many managers want anyone in with d&v.

Original poster
pebblesthemonkey · 18/09/2024 18:55

meieixhw · 18/09/2024 17:45

You are so selfish!

Do you mean selfish for thinking of going into work? Or selfish for thinking of taking the day off? Because although the concensus on this thread so far seems to be i'd be selfish to go in, I've worked in places where it was considered selfish to take time off unless you were very, very unwell.

OP posts:
alpacachino · 18/09/2024 18:54

Canadianmaple · 18/09/2024 18:49

Of course places have 48 hr policies, it’s utterly mad to take d&v bugs into a workplace, they are often highly infectious and it’s basic infection control …. I’d be interested in what industry you work in?

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Loads of places don't. Offices mostly.

alpacachino · 18/09/2024 18:54

I'd go in. Like you say others will likely have already got it off you

Original poster
pebblesthemonkey · 18/09/2024 18:52

Canadianmaple · 18/09/2024 18:49

Of course places have 48 hr policies, it’s utterly mad to take d&v bugs into a workplace, they are often highly infectious and it’s basic infection control …. I’d be interested in what industry you work in?

Show quote history

I work in the public sector but I've had lots of different jobs and I've never worked anywhere that has a 48 hour rule for staff. Everywhere I've worked it has been expected that you come in as soon as you feel well enough, or in some places even if you were still symptomatic there was pressure to be in work.

OP posts:
Canadianmaple · 18/09/2024 18:49

pebblesthemonkey · 18/09/2024 17:19

Are there workplaces that genuinely have a 48 hour rule for adults? I thought that just applied to children in schools or maybe HCP's. There is no such policy where I work, the expectation is you go in if you feel well enough.

Of course places have 48 hr policies, it’s utterly mad to take d&v bugs into a workplace, they are often highly infectious and it’s basic infection control …. I’d be interested in what industry you work in?

WetBandits · 18/09/2024 18:28

I’d be absolutely furious if you turned up to work tomorrow and gave me whatever bug you’ve got. Stay at home!

Dolliesdisasterousdayout · 18/09/2024 18:27

I think a lot of it depends on what you do tbh.

I would be honest, say that while you no longer have d and v but that you are wiped out.

Can you work from home?

AppleDumplingWithCustard · 18/09/2024 18:20

pebblesthemonkey · 18/09/2024 17:19

Are there workplaces that genuinely have a 48 hour rule for adults? I thought that just applied to children in schools or maybe HCP's. There is no such policy where I work, the expectation is you go in if you feel well enough.

I imposed the 48 hour rule on my staff as we were working with immuno-suppressed patients. Many healthcare facilities will be the same.

Sorry, I see you mentioned HCPs.

meieixhw · 18/09/2024 17:45

You are so selfish!

EmberAsh · 18/09/2024 17:24

I think it depends on the culture of your workplace. I've worked places where you don't go in in case you're infectious even if able, to the other extreme of you're expected present unless on deaths door. Only you know what is appropriate in your workplace OP.

PixiePirate · 18/09/2024 17:23

I think you should put the weekend away to one side, and do whatever you would normally do based on how you feel tomorrow when you wake up.

Original poster
pebblesthemonkey · 18/09/2024 17:19

Are there workplaces that genuinely have a 48 hour rule for adults? I thought that just applied to children in schools or maybe HCP's. There is no such policy where I work, the expectation is you go in if you feel well enough.

OP posts:
Adventurerno24 · 18/09/2024 17:15

If you are well enough, you should attend work, if not then don't.

Even secondary schools don't have the 48 hour rule. Plus it will be you dealing with HR for having too much absence.

baffledbyworksheets · 18/09/2024 16:47

Yabu, 48hrs off work after last vomit or episode of diarrhoea. This is standard infection control advice. It doesn't matter if you consider that they were exposed prior to you becoming sick - protect them now.

If you have a job where you can wfh that's an option.