To think it's ridiculous how people go to pieces when they don't have their car

Kinda the point if my post - Not everyone needs to drive.

I need my car for work, literally have business insurance so I can drive to different places so not having my car is a bit of a disaster. My son can’t ride a bike so that’s not an option and I need to be able to get back from work for him if I need to fast. So for some people it is a nightmare and I can’t just get my shit together or take a bus.

cycle if it's a short distance

DH does collapsible electric bike and train commute. I can't ride a bike safely - dyspraxia - so walk bus or train. It does take longer and need more planning - and honestly starting to think we aren't saving much really given ever increasing cost of buses and trains.

I wouldn't feel safe cycling on the city roads I usually drive on.

I don't like seeing cyclists on those roads. It makes me feel worried for them because they're clearly vulnerable.

In theory though, it's a great idea. It's fun and good exercise. I used to love cycling as a child. I grew up in a very small town so it was much safer.

But I still got hit by a car once when I was nine.

@Allfur supermarkets don't necessarily deliver everywhere though, and peddling miles and miles for bread is not going to be a permanent fixture I'm afraid!

I think it's the loss of flexibility that's the real mental challenge. In your car you can make a spur of the moment detour to the supermarket on the way home, and you don't have to carry said shopping very far either. You just can't do that if the bus is leaving in 10 minutes.

Having said that, yanbu with the examples you've given.

We don't drive and have lived all over the UK and used public transport - however I recently had to get to a course regularly in another suburb don't know at all and it was really hard to work out how.

The transport planning sites weren't great often plus there are two bus companies in city each with own not particularly user friendly app- plus buying on buses you need correct change and they really want you to do tickets on apps. Also cheaper if you could stick to one company and buy a day ticket.

This suburb was on loop back into city - so bus services could be either side - not directly opposite bus stops bit of a walk and local residents would often pick the wrong side to wait - easy once app was clear but clearly not otherwise. Plus there was a two hour gap in mid afternoon.

Also only place I've lived bus drivers wouldn't even try and help - other passengers were lovely though. Once I had worked it all they changed the timetables so connections no longer worked. Actually had an old regular couple ask the driver why they were suddenly missing this bus and he shrugged had to tell them it was 5 minutes earlier.

I thought it was me but actually half the course was on buses and struggling with timetables one resorting to expensive taxi for a few weeks. Center closing so I'll never need to get back that way again - so all that hard won information is now useless.

Never lived in an area with such confusion round routes and timetables. We only just found a route from end of our road to nearby city on bus - it work out little bit to extremely more expensive to cheaper depending on numbers going than walking and train.

But generally sound like your work mates are dicks and family don't want to use buses for some reason.

I don't cycle for transport because I have kids to haul about and I live next to a fast main road that drivers often seem to think is the Autobahn. I would love to cycle more, but as a country we need far more cycling infrastructure, including safe cycle paths - i.e. separated by more than just a white line painted on the road.

@orangesandlemonssaythebellsofstclements I know it is. I've done it every week for years because I don't have a car. Neither does she so she needs to do the same, surely?

How did you manage to carry all of it? I didn't have a car when my children were small and I couldn't do it because I couldn't physically carry all the bags, even with a pushchair. This was before supermarkets did home deliveries. I ended up having to get the bus to the supermarket then a taxi home. But money was very tight, and I couldn't always afford the taxi.

I feel bereft without my car.

I do have a few mobility issues, but even without those I don't like not having access to it. I feel trapped not knowing I can't just get into whenever I like and go off where I may. It's my sanctuary too. When I shut my car door and I'm on my own, it's feels like my own private little quiet space.

Plus I love driving. Listening to my music, getting through my manoeuvres, negotiating the roads, maybe getting a bit of speed up, is relaxing and makes me feel peaceful. As long as the journey doesn't go on for too long.

There's so many variables to this. Surely it depends where you live/what you do? I have to see to animals (take water in the car) twice a day
Get DC to school 4 miles away along a road with no footpath or even verge, just ditches both sides. Then get to work. I'm screwed without a car.

And it’s wonderful that works for you. But as with many things in life what works for one person doesn’t work for everyone. People are different and their lives are different.

Not all roads are safe or even legal to cycle on.

Plus not all children cycle properly.

This is a bitchy thread.

I had no car a couple weeks ago while it was being repaired.

A 25 minute drive to work took 1.5 hours, the bus was packed so had to stand, there were screaming kids and rowdy teens on the bus, and I hated it. The first bus was full so didn't stop to pick anyone up, so I was 40 minutes la the to work.

Of course if someone is used to having a car they're not going to like the inconvenience of crappy public transport.

@orangesandlemonssaythebellsofstclements yeah your SIL is being ridiculous.

By comparison my FIL had a recent medical condition and was off road for a year or so, having driven everywhere his whole adult life. Within about a week he was back to living a full life with his bus pass without a word of complaint. Just got on with it.

My bicycle allows me to do the same, school run, and work on time

I don't understand why more people don't cycle if it's a short distance

My car means that I can get my children to school and then get to work on time. Not having my car would mean being 45 mins later to work or using breakfast clubs, which have to be booked a month in advance. So yeah, it would be a bit ‘panic stations’ for a little while if I didn’t have my car for whatever reason.

Supermarkets deliver, also bicycles are good for shopping

Lol where I live there is one bus that comes through at 7:30am to the nearest town and that's it. Driving is an absolute necessity for me, but I'm lucky enough that if I don't have access to a car I can just wfh so it's not world ending.

When I lived in London I didn't have a car 🤷‍♀️

You make many valid points, I was recently without a car for a short time while waiting for a new one to be delivered. People couldn't believe that the DCs cycled/I ran a few kilometres to get somewhere because we didn't have the car!
On the other hand, not everywhere is conveniently accessible by public transport. Someone that has a car is likely to structure their activities without taking public transport into account, so if the car is suddenly unavailable then it can make things quite difficult. Also, not everyone is able bodied.

I agree OP. I know for some people it might be more difficult to get public transport etc but I get your point. I’ve seen many people who don’t have a car for one day they act like is the end of the world. And they get so used to the car than they drive even to go to the shop 5 mins away.