Page 4 | To think it's ridiculous how people go to pieces when they don't have their car

orangesandlemonssaythebellsofstclements · 2024-09-18T14:32:25+00:00

This might be unpopular. Being able to drive and having a car to get around seems to be a sign that you have your shit together and you are a proper adult. However, I have witnessed so many times people that are used to cars, absolutely failing to cope the minute they no longer have access to one, even if it's just for a day. Where as people who use public transport frequently have to plan around last minute cancellations and lateness and are actually required to be more organised. A couple of examples. SIL (BIL's wife) had a company car for years. She now doesn't work enough hours to have it so she lost her company car. I made what I thought was a genuine and helpful comment about the fact that she's lucky she lives on a great bus route and got given looks of disgust and no-one even answered me. It was as though they thought I was deliberately trying to be factious or something. Now MIL comes and takes her on days out with her toddler and even takes her shopping because she no longer has a car and claims she can't get anywhere. I have two children and have always managed days out and shopping with out one. Someone once called in to work and said they were going to be late because their car had broken down and they had to get a bus. There was an out pouring of sympathy for her, people were calling her every few minutes to check she was OK and making jokes about how horrible it must be for her. She turned up at the office a whole hour late, was hailed as some sort of hero for getting there and told not to worry if she had to be late for the rest of the week while she got her car sorted. I lived on the next street over and got there on the bus every single day. AIBU to think these people kind of need to grow up a little bit and handle their shit?

Original poster

orangesandlemonssaythebellsofstclements · 18/09/2024 23:29

Urgh I'm going to sleep. You people drive me mad 😆🚗

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Original poster

orangesandlemonssaythebellsofstclements · 18/09/2024 23:24

MinervaMcGonagallsCat · 18/09/2024 23:24

There are lots of things I simply couldn't do without my car.

We don't all live in areas with adequate public transport.

I KNOW!!!!

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TheHateIsNotGood · 18/09/2024 23:24

Well strike me down with a feather... Clever......OP..... Absolutely fabulous idea of yours and may it sail well. Meanwhile, back at the ranch, where public transport doesn't go with the flow, geesucks some dumbwits just need ter get in ther darn cars to ern some money stuff.

Happy to be corrected from any direction.

MinervaMcGonagallsCat · 18/09/2024 23:24

There are lots of things I simply couldn't do without my car.

We don't all live in areas with adequate public transport.

Original poster

orangesandlemonssaythebellsofstclements · 18/09/2024 23:24

thirdistheonewiththehairychest · 18/09/2024 23:21

And yes I know lots of people use laundrettes and that there is nothing wrong with them, but if you are not accustomed to doing your laundry that way, it could be challenging.

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I'm sure it could be, but you've got no washing machine now.. so what are you going to do? just have dirty clothes? get your MIL to wash it all for you? No, you're going to have to use the facilities available to you aren't you?
And I genuinely can't think that someone pointing out that its a good thing you live near one is such a bad thing??

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Caerulea · 18/09/2024 23:21

LegoTherapy · 18/09/2024 17:40

Navigating a holiday in Cornwall on public transport was fun. Buses every 2 hours and often turned up 45 minutes late. We managed fine though with a few hiccups. I don't drive. I never will unless there's a huge change in my financial situation. I live somewhere with buses and trains that aren't London or city good but they are good enough when I need to use them except for the once an hour bus to swimming lessons that changes its pattern at the time I need it. We still manage though.
People without cars from the start or for long periods know how to get around but people suddenly forced to rely on public transport are completely flummoxed.
I do hate the narrative on mumsnet of non-drivers not being proper grown ups, always expecting lifts or not having an essential life skill.

Try living here, driving isn't a luxury, it's a necessity.

I'm glad you managed on your holiday with our two hourly busses that are often late, don't run on Sundays & don't run after 6pm. It's a service that's next to useless for anything practical. You might be able to get to your job but if it finishes after 6, you can't get home. You can't work on a Sunday at all.

Early hospital appointment? You can't get there.
Need to get to a mandated job seeker appointment thing early? Can't get there.
Need to get to parents evening at your kids school? Nope, you ain't going.
Want to take your kids swimming? Nah

So you drive, cos you have to. And in season it takes twice as long cos you spend miles stuck behind cyclists going 4mph up the hills on narrow 60mph roads with no safe opportunities to pass them thanks to endless blind bends & hairpin corners.

thirdistheonewiththehairychest · 18/09/2024 23:21

thirdistheonewiththehairychest · 18/09/2024 23:20

That would be like suddenly losing permanent use of your washing machine and someone saying "At least you live near a launderette"...

And yes I know lots of people use laundrettes and that there is nothing wrong with them, but if you are not accustomed to doing your laundry that way, it could be challenging.

Original poster

orangesandlemonssaythebellsofstclements · 18/09/2024 23:21

thirdistheonewiththehairychest · 18/09/2024 23:20

That would be like suddenly losing permanent use of your washing machine and someone saying "At least you live near a launderette"...

I genuinely think this is a reasonable and rather helpful thing to say though.

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TheTigerWhoCameToEatMyArsehole · 18/09/2024 23:20

Always. Sometimes I even shout it a people at bus stops.

thirdistheonewiththehairychest · 18/09/2024 23:20

That would be like suddenly losing permanent use of your washing machine and someone saying "At least you live near a launderette"...

Original poster

orangesandlemonssaythebellsofstclements · 18/09/2024 23:16

TheTigerWhoCameToEatMyArsehole · 18/09/2024 23:13

Im guessing no one has watched inbetweeners.

Nope I've definitely watched the inbetweeners.

Do you look down your nose at bus wankers?

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TheTigerWhoCameToEatMyArsehole · 18/09/2024 23:15

Think the only person with an inflated opinion is op that she can use public transport and a launderette and has amazing problem solving skills that her sil doesn't.

TheTigerWhoCameToEatMyArsehole · 18/09/2024 23:13

Im guessing no one has watched inbetweeners.

GuPuddingRamekinHoarder · 18/09/2024 23:11

TheTigerWhoCameToEatMyArsehole · 18/09/2024 23:08

Op I think you have a chip on your shoulder. If it all bothered you so much and you think you're social standing is less than someone that drives which is what I'm picking up from your posts, plus you earn well, do your driving lessons. Then you too can look down your noses at the bus wankers. I like having a car it means I can take my kids places whenever I like and gives them freedom. I'll be paying for both mine to learn to drive soon as they are old enough.

Wow, bus wankers, you have an inflated opinion of yourself clearly.

Original poster

orangesandlemonssaythebellsofstclements · 18/09/2024 23:10

TheTigerWhoCameToEatMyArsehole · 18/09/2024 23:08

Op I think you have a chip on your shoulder. If it all bothered you so much and you think you're social standing is less than someone that drives which is what I'm picking up from your posts, plus you earn well, do your driving lessons. Then you too can look down your noses at the bus wankers. I like having a car it means I can take my kids places whenever I like and gives them freedom. I'll be paying for both mine to learn to drive soon as they are old enough.

Why would I look down my nose at "bus wankers?"

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TheTigerWhoCameToEatMyArsehole · 18/09/2024 23:08

Op I think you have a chip on your shoulder. If it all bothered you so much and you think you're social standing is less than someone that drives which is what I'm picking up from your posts, plus you earn well, do your driving lessons. Then you too can look down your noses at the bus wankers. I like having a car it means I can take my kids places whenever I like and gives them freedom. I'll be paying for both mine to learn to drive soon as they are old enough.

Original poster

orangesandlemonssaythebellsofstclements · 18/09/2024 23:03

soupfiend · 18/09/2024 20:23

The equivalent would be asking why people go to pieces if their washing machine breaks down

Yes you can go to the launderette, you might be lucky to have one near by and be able to afford washes there

Yes you can hand wash things, its possible, not difficult for small things, bit harder for tons of jumpers etc

But my priority personally would be getting a new one/getting it fixed, not carrying on with the non washing machine options

I'm not sure why it needs to be one or the other? you can deal with a problem while waiting for a solution can you not?
I would use the laundrette while I was waiting for the washing machine to be repaired or for my new one to arrive. I have even managed to use a laundrette without a car (albeit with difficulty) there is also a local laundry lady who collects washing for people, washes it, dries it and drops it off all folded in her lovely little pink van and for a very reasonable price. I have used her in the past when my washing machine broke and I found out about this lady by... y'know... googling what was available to me. I certainly didn't sit there doing nothing while my washing piled up and I had nothing to wear, would you? And yes I work full time and have tow kids to get to school too.
And maybe there IS no other laundry service available but the people I describe in my OP do have options. They just refuse to use them. Hence my gripe.

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Original poster

orangesandlemonssaythebellsofstclements · 18/09/2024 22:49

squashedalmondcroissant · 18/09/2024 22:42

I get it OP, it is incredibly frustrating and annoying when some (often the same) people belittle you because you can't drive and yet they seemingly can't manage anything without a car.

I know someone who literally gave up her job despite multiple bus options to get there and/or walking a very doable distance because her bf was no longer available to give her lifts everyday.

I know someone else who refused to walk home from work despite the fact that she lived less than a 10 minute walk down a well lit, straight road, and would instead make her parents come and give her a lift.

Just for the record, I live rurally and I can count on one hand the number of times I've asked people for lifts, public transport is crappy here but I make it work when I need to.

Walk a 2 mile round trip in the dark down a road with no pavement and carry back a 20kg sack of coal in a backpack because I needed some and no one could deliver it? Yep, had no choice.

Walk a 6 mile round trip down roads with no pavements to get to the nearest shop? Yep, had no choice.

Spend 90 minutes on 2x buses and a train to get to uni every day? Yep, had no choice.

I could go on. Some people don't have the luxury of moaning about how hard things are we just have to get on with it! I've never driven because I can't bloody afford it, and often could only afford to live in a place in the arse end of nowhere but you just have to find a way. I don't have anyone to bail me out if I find myself stranded.

I have sympathy for those who circumstances change unexpectedly, but we live in a magical age where google is available. Maps, apps, phone numbers, timetables, the information is available somewhere. Might be difficult, but it's not often 100% impossible. Now, sometimes it genuinely is, but more often than not it's just more effort than people can be arsed to make.

Abso-bloody-lutely.

And I think your point about google being readily available is so important. The information is right there. Some people do not even realise you can switch directions on google maps between walking, cycling, and public transport! they just keep it on driving mode all the time!

And my SIL, I would have told her all the bus routes and helped her out, I offered to walk from my street to the bus stop near my colleague and get the bus with her. They simply didn't want to know.

And that's cool, but don't tell me that buses are for people who have failed at life if you can't even handle waiting at a bus stop.

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Hankunamatata · 18/09/2024 22:44

I'm totally car spoilt. My daily life and timings are planned around the convince of having access to a car. I do struggle without my car as it's a big adjustment

Fizbosshoes · 18/09/2024 22:43

I had a colleague who desperately wanted to live in a pretty village with shit public transport, despite the fact they couldn't drive, so they moved there . And they were late for work every single day. It was pretty frustrating for everyone else who got to work on time.