How much time do you have for yourself per week if you have a child?

I'm a single parent, I get 2 days off every fortnight as my exh has them every other weekend.

I'm exhausted the other 11 days though and I barely get a moment to myself because I'm either working or running about after the kids. Today I put an ice cube tray in the fridge, I haven't done that kind of thing since my kids were newborn, they are 9 and 6 now. I don't get any time in the evenings because my 9 year old usually isn't asleep until at least 9.30pm.

I'm "luckier" than single parents who don't get a break at all but I don't consider myself "lucky". I still consider my kids at a disadvantage because they spend those 2 days with their dad in front of a screen, from what I can gather. I blitzed the house last weekend and it's a total bomb site again already because I barely have any time to empty the dishwasher. There's also no flexibility, if something has been organised that isn't on my child free weekend then I can't go.

Did I mention how exhausted I am? Smaller more regular breaks are better IMO. Be careful what you wish for.

Ahh, yes. I look enviously out of the window at women walking by with sleeping babies whilst I'm in another sodding meeting.

I have found that if you set big expectations for childfree time it almost always isn't as good as you wanted it to be anyway.

Better to pace yourself with regular breathers, and make sure you really enjoy those.

Very very little. The occasional run and that’s it really. Evenings after kids go to bed are spent doing housework. Kids aged 2 and 5, work 4 days per week.

I have a couple nights a week where I read for half an hour after dh gets home and takes the dc. Sometimes I have to poop at 4am so that's another 10 mins.

Zero

I count exercise as time to myself as with limited time off that is what I prioritise. I have the odd weekend away and occasionally take a few hours on a weekend to see friends or do a hobby plus u find now they are Primary age I can read a book while they play (admittedly still likely to get interrupted). I agree with the sharing the nights or so either you alternate bedtimes or have set evenings per week. I find it relaxing knowing for example that Thursday evening is mine to plan as I like

Well I’m separated so I have every Monday and Tuesday evening and then every second weekend from Friday through to Sunday…to be honest before that though, it was very little.

Gotta be honest everyone, a great divorce is a wonderful thing! My ex has made a far better ex than he was a dh! Stepped up for the girls, does good exciting stuff with them, takes them on wonderful holidays, and I get loads of lovely time, safe in the knowledge my kids are being wonderfully looked after.

Or he could do what my ex did and decide to do zero parenting and you end up doing 100% of it 🤣

Likewise!!

Not unrealistic at all. My next door neighbour has often loads of child free time as she's in a new relationship, had a kid with someone else so her three eldest DC go off to their Dad's various times of the week. She doesn't do the school run more than once per week. She orchestrates it so she does as little as possible.

I need to divorce DH so I can get all that free time too🤣🤣

1 to 2 hrs before bed and even that's becoming a stretch as teenagers in the house mean you're on the go until sometimes 11pm or later to remind them to get that light out!

I agree with others that this is unrealistic with young children. How old are your DC?

I tend to get a few hours over a weekend when DH takes DD (age 9) out, or if he’s ‘on duty’ downstairs while I relax upstairs. I usually go to a knitting group once a week, and DH also has an evening hobby. Plus the occasional nights out for each of us. It is easier now that DD is older and more independent.

We don’t have family nearby so don’t get have any babysitting or sleepovers. DH has taken DD to visit his family in school holidays a couple of times - I’m usually working, but enjoy the novelty of a quiet house and nothing to do in the evenings!

Very occasionally I have booked a day off work while DH is at work and DD is at school, which is blissful.

Needs to be more than five hours for OP!

I only managed that at work.

None at the moment. 5 dc aged between 18 and 10. Not that I'm complaining, just stating a fact. During the school day I just have the 18 year old at home so that's a lot easier than when they are all here. He has SN though so he still needs quite a bit of help with various things.

Well she wants a block of child free time at the weekend and we manage to take a block of 3 hours each to do whatever we please! It might not be an entire day, but I agree with the poster that perhaps we need lower expectations of child free time when kids are small…

None of that is child free time according to OP's definition... 🤔

I think you're creating this issue by being a bit glass half empty about the time you do actually get.

You could have each Saturday to yourself with DH being with the kids and they swap on Sundays but then you'd get no family time and that sounds a bit miserable to me, but if DH is on board go for it.

I think it helps to stop thinking about free time as acting as if you are childfree.

Good advice. I value a walk (or a run) with a sleeping baby in the pram. I value my evenings which are short and sometimes interrupted by children, but it's what I have.

I think you need to lower your expectations OP... sorry.

😂

The time when I can mindlessly scroll on MN with a baby attached to my breast.... does that count??

What is 'me time' if it's not going to the gym??

Came here to say exactly this

5h off solo a week when you don't count evenings or appointments does come across as a bit demanding TBH.

Every fortnight, sure. We generally approach it that one of us usually gets half of Saturday off, and the other one looks after the baby. Then we shuffle around doing chores to leave Sunday as family day (though if we want we take turns sorting naps).

I think it helps to stop thinking about free time as acting as if you are childfree.

I think you have to be organised and non negotiable about child free time when you have small kids! My husband and I both work full time and long hours and we each have set days of the week where we are responsible for the kids in morning/evening and the other can go to the gym/work late/see friends etc. At the weekend we also both take 3 hours to ourselves on a Sunday. And if I choose to have my 3 hours at home having a bath/reading in bed etc then DH won’t let the kids upstairs and will entertain them so I have a proper break, and I do the same for him. It doesn’t work the whole time eg if they (or one of us) is ill, but generally we manage to stick to this and I’m a much better parent for it!

Very little. I manage a 20 minute work out a couple of times a week. I find my commute stressful but can usually read the paper or a book so if that counts about an hour twice a week.