Is my child’s school being extremely unreasonable?

Oh come on this is some jobsworth trying to make a point and exert their authority. Yes due to cultural differences the time scale is longer that in itself should be accommodated and it's not as if this will happen again like it's a jolly to Spain for a week. Bloody surgery eh that should not go down as un authorised either. Yes I get the reasons behind absences and fines tho this is noniscal. Letter to education board or council re this and do not pay. Sorry about your Dad as if you need this crap when you are grieving. I am peri menopausal would have went clean of my nut with rage.

I don’t think you are being ridiculous. This person has caused you much unnecessary anguish at this sad time. I would write to the head teacher explaing everything and I would consider making a complaint under the Equalities Act about the attendance officer’s criteria for decisions, they could be deemed discriminatory on cultural grounds. I would definitely attend my father’s funeral and go to court if necessary, rather than pay a bogus fine. I am sorry for your loss. The loss of a parent is very hard.

My apologies if this has already been said, but I think the Academy should be informed about this whether or not it is resolved by the school. I am so sorry you have had to deal with this at such a sad and difficult time for you and your family.

Sorry to hear of your father's passing and that you also are having to deal with an unsympathetic school at such a sad time. Just wanted to add that if appealing at the school doesn't work, it might be worth contacting your local MP about this issue 💐

Agree with others, put in a formal complaint

Sorry for the passing of your dad :( And you are NOT being unreasonable - Id take it to your local authority or governing body

I'd love to know what the reason could possibly be for OP to be unreasonable by the 3% who voted so....
OP this sounds absolutely outrageous. I am so sorry you have to deal with such a holes during this difficult time ! Sending lots of love to you and your family.

The school, or the 'jobsworth' authorised representative you are dealing with, is not only being unreasonable they're disrespectful, unkind and totally unsympathetic for the loss of your dad for which I send condolences...
I get exactly where you're coming from on this and it seems that since many schools are now 'academies' all humanity and good will has gone out the window...I can't believe you had a message asking you to 'explain yourself', I think they get so used to dealing with minors they forget how to interact with adults!! 🙄
They seem to get more het up and indignant over absence then anything else these days...we just got another long and dictatorial email from our boys school laying out what we can and can't do (with our own children!) with subtle threats of fines and ultimately prison if we don't adhere to their rigid and unrealistic rules and legislation regarding attendance!! My immediate response (if it wouldn't possibly somehow bounce back on our boy!) would be 'Heil fucking Hitler'!!! 😱
I would fight this to the bitter end but it's not right that you should have to do this at such a sad and traumatic time.😡

@Angrywife is correct. Note regulation 9A(7) which specifically says that the regulations do not prevent fines being issued in circumstances other than those stated in 9A(1). Those few LAs that fine for shorter periods of absence can continue to do so.

Something doesn't add up here. A week's absence for a medical reason (surgery is irrefutable) should never be unauthorised and lead to a fine. Maybe it was incorrectly categorised?

Best to calmly contact someone who knows what they're talking about, to get it deal with properly.

I think it’s absolutely appalling from the school and you are well within your right to challenge it. Try to contact the Head directly and definitely the Governors. If anything, it’s discrimination due to the cultural significance too. However, Ofsted won’t do anything so don’t waste your time with them.

Id put a complaint in writing, write to the school governor and to be honest I'd consider the papers!

I'm so sorry this is awful. How do schools fine you? Do all parents now leave bloody credit card details at the school office? What happens if you tell them to shove it?

Check the schools policies which should be freely available. The absense for surgery has no relevance as that was a medical matter. The school should be sensitive to cultural traditions and bereavement is an absense which should be authorised. You can also contact the local authroity to check their guidelines on this. That is underpinned by a law which you can also check. Put a complaint in to the school. You can also mention discrimination for the lack of respect for cultural traiditions. You can threaten to contact OFSTED. You have a lot of actions you could take. Hopefully an email to the deputy head stating the issue and the policy and treatening OFTSED and involving the board of govenors should lead to a prompt aology, authorisaiton of absense and a some further training for the attedance officer !

As a Chair of School Governors, I would happily be taking the HT to task if your complaint came to me. This type of jobsworth stuff from school attendance officers make my blood boil. I am so fed up with having to step in because schools cannot act reasonably. Please write to the HT and complain and if the reply is still unreasonable, escalate to the CoG of the school.

Should add, as didn’t make clear in previous message, I’d deffo take your DC for the time you planned and deal with the fallout later. You could call in sick for him (the loss of a grandparent is an emotional time), which might avoid any hassle, or stick to saying it’s to attend the funeral.

It’s highly unlikely the school would decide to fine if you make your case via their complaints procedure. As an academy, they may not have to get the local education authority involved. But you could involve them via your local councillor.

And if they still played hardball, I’d find out what happens in reality if you refuse to pay. It’s a lot of hassle to prosecute you for that amount and they may know they wouldn’t win if you pleaded your case. He’s not persistently absent. It’s a one off. My guess is they rely on people paying or write it off. But you’d need to check that out. The local CAB or parents groups may know.

Sorry for your loss.

You've lost your father and couldn't have done more to make sure the children were in school on Monday, despite the bereavement and the travelling. Many wouldn't have and that wouldn't be unreasonable under the circs, imho.

If the funeral is 7 days long and 300 miles away, that's what it is. This is your family's culture and your children's heritage, which is a vital aspect of their identity. To suggest any reason as to why it would not be authorised is religious/cultural discrimination, which is not permitted.

Time away from school for medical reasons in the past isn't relevant for multiple reasons; this person is being a colossal prick. I apologise for that, but I'm not sure if it's possible to be any more insensitive to a grieving family, especially when the parents are trying to navigate absence as conservatively as you appear to be.

I'd be preparing to travel, having told class teachers and sent an email of complaint to the Governors about this individual and the policy itself. If the school has any sense, they will take both in hand and apologise unreservedly.

Take your children and go be with your family. Safe trip.

I am so sorry for your loss ..

honestly attendance has got to the point of ridiculous where people are devoid of common sense .

i agree complain in writing , it has to be dealt with but you have more than enough to deal with

Ok. I was just checking for reasons the school might NOT have been being unreasonable.

Extremely unreasonable. Sorry for your loss. I would go anyway whether they authorised or not, but if you have the strength, I would complain and push to get it authorised, It's good to challenge such unreasonable rules, it will hopefully help others as well in similar situations in then future.

Just be factual. In your culture people die just once and this is recorded for 7 days and that is that. It was the UK who banged on and on about inclusivity here so ?

Contact your MP and local council to investigate this , as you also said in your culture it’s a 7 day funeral explain this should be considered also . So sorry you have lost your Dad x

PS would also consider a mentioning that your DS was upset by what was said to them and that this was hugely insensitive at a time when they were, despite grieving and in shock, still attending school. Where's their pastoral responsibility in all this?

Assuming you submitted the docs from the hospital ref the week in July for surgery then they cannot class it aa unauthorised and it does not count towards absences for the fines. The bloke is a twat. I am a governor and also a mum of a kid with a chronic disorder who misses at least 2 weeks a year due to treatments.

The funeral should meet the bar for exceptional circumstances. I appreciate the cultural 7 dau thing wouldn't unfortunately but you are being more than reasonable in your request.

Go through their leave and attendance policies (have to be published online if you are England) and quote it back at them.