Is my child’s school being extremely unreasonable?

I’m so sorry for your loss, and that you had to contend with this obnoxious person in the middle of your grief.I think this is discrimination, based on your culture/religion which is unlawful. It’s not as if you’re going away on holiday or keeping off for frivolous reasons. The school cannot ’charge’ you for taking your child out of school. This would likely be a matter for the LEA, and in any case you can appeal on grounds of your religion. Hugs,

Wow! That’s completely unreasonable of them. I’m so sorry you’re going through this at such a difficult time. I had to travel abroad for my Dads funeral with my 2 Primary aged kids. Their school were great and authorised a week (luckily the second week was half term) -they didn’t hesitate. They were so lovely and even sent their condolences.
Focus on the funeral for now and how you’re feeling. You don’t need this while you’re in the early stages of grieving.

Absolutely ridiculous, I'd be fuming.

Can they fine you at all? I've never even heard of that? Surely there's no way to enforce it?

Crikey, talk about heartless
I'm so sorry for your loss

This severity over school absence must be an English thing, as I've never heard of it here in Scotland.

Are you Jewish, OP? It’s not clear whether you might be referring to seven days of mourning (I.e. like the Jewish Shiva), or the actual funeral lasting for 7 days. If your family is Jewish you can also contact an organisation/charity like Campaign Against Antisemitism; I have some knowledge of their work and know they have helped before when Jewish families have been discriminated against by school attendance policies - like not authorising time off for religious days etc. They have a legal team and also a specialist education liaison unit, and have helped families make complaints to schools, joined in meetings between families and schools as advocates, and even taken it as far as (pro bono) legal assistance/action in severe cases. If you are not Jewish, it’s possible that there may be similar organisations/charities that provide support in cases of discrimination against your culture. Worth looking into because this is definitely discrimination. Sorry about your dad.

Hi,

Just wanted to let you know that I do this for a job in a secondary school… firstly, If you provided medical evidence for the absence in July, this is legally authorised. If they haven’t authorised it, they have made a mistake. Therefore if they tried to use those days against you, your local authority would not allow it anyway. If you didn’t provide evidence, they are allowed to mark this as ‘unauthorised’ but you can still request some ‘proof’ for them at any time and they will have to change your marks to medical marks.

Also, you have to have 5 unauthorised days off school in a ten week period for the school to submit a fine to the local authority… the 3 day funeral alone won’t amount to that on its own anyway. They can add those 3 days to any other unauthorised days if they wish though..

So all in all, they might try to issue you with a fixed penalty, but they won’t have a leg to stand on if you contact your local authority with evidence/reason for absence.

Also…. For what it’s worth.. jobs worth Jane is on minimum wage with very little job satisfaction. Trust me. I know! 😂

You should not be fined for taking your kids to a funeral, especially a grandparent. Also, sickness is not counted as unauthorised absence. Complain. And keep complaining. Do not pay this fine.

Refuse to pay the fine and demand to go to the magistrates court and let them decide. In reality I think the attendance mafia will drop it rather than be shown to be stupid. Get advice from a decent solicitor

I am so sorry for your loss, OP. I no longer have children in school but I am appalled at the lack of compassion these days and the way children are treated as numbers to fulfil some target, irrespective of what is happening in their lives. When you are stronger you should complain in the strongest terms. Do not back down on this. You are in the right. Everyone you meet just now should be treating you and your children with the utmost compassion. I hope the next few days are not too stressful and you have the opportunity to grieve in peace.

My condolences to you all. 💔
Bloody school Jobsworth! You've notified the school by completing an absence form. And you're told it would be an unauthorised leave and you'll be fined. Me, I'd tell them to swivel if they thought I'd paying a fine for taking my children out of school to attending their grandads funeral. 😡

So sorry for your loss OP. Can you let your DC’s form teacher know and get their support? It does seem exceptionally unreasonable. Of course one day out would probably be their ideal, but the distance should be considered mitigating circumstances.

After my mother died, I let the school know that my youngest would be attending the funeral, there was no pushback at all.

I am so sorry about your Dad. Reading that post just angered me. I think the school are being appalling. Honestly if anything happened by parents my kids would be too devastated to attend school. I am so glad we don’t have that poxy rule in N. Ireland.

They can only fine for unauthorised absence if your son had surgery in July then it doesn't count and they can't find you now the rules are static across all schools now and 3 days unauthorised absence is not enough to warrant a fine. So unless they have more unauthorised absences that your not saying then they don't have a leg to stand on. Put it in writing and quote the new law that came into place in August and insist you are taking them out for a funeral and you don't want it going down as unauthorised as it's compassionate christ my son had a day off when his rabbit died last year and his school considered it compassionate and authorised it. I'd also take this up as a complaint with the governors. Sounds like this attendance officer doesn't agree with the new rules because the prices are locked so is trying to get round them to bring funds in.

I think that you could quiet easily claim that the school is being culturally insensitive if not downright prejudiced in the way you're being treated. I know you've got a lot on your plate right now but contacting the media, school head, the board of governors, your local education department, your councillor and MP. They will hopefully give them the rocket these (this?) cold bureaucrat(s) needs

Whoever this person is, clearly is in the wrong job. Utterly unacceptable.

I would 1) complain to the governors 2) loop in my local councillors and MP. And 3) talk to the local media.

I'd make sure I follow up the call on email. So there is a paper trail.

Just writing to confirm the contents of the phone call from X, who said they were the school's attendance officer. Call received xx time and date.

In that call, I was told that I face a fine of my son attends the funeral of his grandfather, who passed away suddenly on Xx date (please see copy of death certificate attached). The funeral is in xx location, which is xx miles away and involves many hours of travel. The reason that this has been refused is because he had medical leave for surgery in July. Prior to this he had 100% attendance.

I find this lack of application of rules, and the reasonable excuse guidelines as outlined by the DfE gravely concerning. The nature of the call was incredibly unprofessional and rude and has caused a great deal of distress to myself, my son, and the rest of our family.

We will obviously be attending the funeral for my father on these dates. As per the forms I have already submitted. We will not be paying a fine, as this absence should be authorised.

I would like to formally complain about the way this request and our family bereavement has been handled by X.

I would also like to exercise my rights under the freedom of information act and ask what training is provided to staff, both academic and support, for handling requests like these? How many requests for absence under reasonable excuse rules were made to the school for the previous academic year? How many of these were refused?

I have included my local councillors and MP who are supporting me with this issue.

Shocking treatment.. I would never tell the school any of my business .. Except my child is sick for whatever reason.. Hopefully Labour will fix this mess....

I'd be furious with that. The school have a duty of care for your DS and rather than checking if he is ok after the sudden loss of his Grandad they are being arsey and relaying messages about correspondence with parents.

HIUGELY unprofessional.

I'd be putting in an official complaint about that member of staff.

There's heavy handed and then there's being utterly unreasonable.

It's not your fault the funeral isn't local and your priority at the moment needs to be getting the kids there and prepared for what is going to be a difficult time for them, not rushing them home because school are foot stamping.

My close parent died very very suddenly a few years ago.
I took my daughter out of primary school for TWO days and was sent a letter and asked to reconsider as this was 'excessive'

I went mental and complained to governers and ofstead

Schools these days are disgusting and I work in one!!

I’m sure schools don’t issue fines it’s the council- I’m a teacher and I’ve never heard the school directly fine. I could be wrong but I’m sure I’m not

When I was headteacher (I’m retired), religious reason was treated as exceptional circumstance. Google ‘can child have time off for religious reasons?’

I haven't read all the messages ......
but big hugs.
Sure it has been said already a) Medical absence isn't unauthorised
b) If they won't authorise absence for a funeral for another religion/cultural report them to the Council on the grounds of discrimination.
SO SORRY you have all this on top of losing a beloved parent xxxxxxxxx

I would absolutely throw that in their face