Is A wrong or B?

If I was Bev I would stop speaking to Ann over this.

Its rude enough to think Bev would just drop everything to collect her, but to get angry over it and refuse to accept she’s in the wrong would really annoy me.

Bev seems lovely and Ann seems very entitled.

All Ann had to do was ring Bev and explain and then ask the garden centre if they would store it for her until Bev was free.

The fact you've heard the story from Ann and it paints herself in a very unreasonable light would concern me slightly as a relative of Ann, OP, in terms of her perception.

That said, she seems to have been able to recollect what happened in detail and her only issue seems to be with mistakenly feeling entitled to a lift, so while I'm not a doctor, I would think that's more a sign of not thinking about others (possibly from having lived alone a number of years after being widowed) than a sign of cognitive decline (assuming that's what you were concerned about). You obviously know Ann, but, taken in isolation, her reaction to this incident doesn't sound particularly like a medical issue, but more like a social one.

Also, given that there's 60 years of history between these two, it may be that other factors are coming into Ann's reaction that you might not know about as a relative (e.g. someone screwed someone over 20 years ago and it was left to fester, or someone had an affair years ago, etc). There could be all sorts of reasons that this has hit a nerve for Ann that are nothing to do with the specific incident she's recounted to you.

If her social circle outside of Bev is small, then perhaps this story is just a convenient way for Ann to complain about Bev's perceived selfishness to her family without having to explain the ins and outs of the bigger issue that's bothering her.

Ann is a cheeky cow.

Bev said "if you ever need a lift. This does not mean "if you need something at the drop of the hat just ring me and I'll definitely drop everything and run to your immediate beck and call".

Need a lift means, by agreement.

I’m quite unsure why you need to even ask this? Who do you think is in the wrong?
Ann has no right to be upset with Bev over this. Just because Bev said if she ever needs a lift… that doesn’t mean like last minute lifts she’s not a taxi that you ring and have there in minutes.

People get demonstrably more egocentric as they age. They find it more and more difficult to appreciate things from other people’s perspective.

Not in my experience.

All the elderly people I personally know seem to be the opposite. Especially when it comes to asking for favours - lifts, or anything else including when genuinely needing help with something.

They seem to be desperate to "not to put anyone out" and "not make a fuss".

I guess everyone's different though but that's not an age thing.

I do wonder if something more is going on because it seems strange and sad to lose a 60 year friendship over this. Either there's a backstory or maybe Ann is going through some issues/health problems?

Obviously Ann.

I don't want to be that mumsnetter who thinks everyone over 60 has dementia but I do work in that area and actually repetition and getting stuck on a topic ("looping") can be an early symptom of cognitive problems.
She could just have an infection causing mild delirium or it could be nothing at all, but I'd watch her closely if you can.
So many times we assume people are ok and if all we ever do is small talk (Hello Ann, how are you? oh I'm fine) then it's difficult to assess cognition. What is her short term memory like? Can she recall key events like the recent Olympics, what she did yesterday? A phone number or an address after a few minutes?
If not I'd be asking if she would go to the GP's for a referral for a memory assessment.

Ann is taking da piss

Ffs Ann is in the wrong obviously! Bev isn't her personal taxi and can just drop what she is doing to immediately go and pick her up.

Just make sue you don't get roped into being her new taxidriver!

Ann is clearly in the wrong. She didn't even need to call a taxi, she should have paid for the items and asked the garden centre to put them aside for her. She should have then called Bev and asked when would be convenient. On hearing the answer, Ann should have caught the bus home and thanked Bev for helping her retrieve the large items at a point in the not too distant future.

Assuming you're Bev op, show Ann this thread. It feels pretty unanimous 😂

Ann.

OK to ask if Bev was free "now" but not grumbled when she wasn't.

I think Ann probably isn’t okay… either depression or cognitive decline.

that saidy experience is older people get very focused on “their thing” NOW. There is a demand for attention / time / help immediately when there is no actual urgency…
Ann could have asked them to hold it and collected it in a few days… she just decided it had to be now now.

Ann should have just called a taxi.

100% Ann. Bev offered to help out not be a taxi service at a moments notice.
Ann is a CF

I like Bev.
Helps when she can.
Has boundaries when she can't.
Ann could learn alot from Bev.

Anne is obviously in the wrong here.

I don't think it was awful to call and ask (although maybe a little presumptuous) but the real 'crime' was in Annes reaction to Bev saying no.

I also think it is relevant that Ann only called Bev to save money - on the reduced parasol and then the taxi. Because of this if Ann had been given the lift I think Ann should offer Bev to buy coffee and cake as a thanks. Bev's time has value. If someone asked me to drive them 15 mins each way to save them a tenner for example I'd think they were cheeky/selfish - and if they are saving £100 then they can offer a gesture of thanks.

This is different to a lift to a hospital appointment where moral support is required for example where a simple "thank you" is plenty.
^^

Ann should have phoned Bev and said I have seen parasol I love. If I bought it would you be able to collect.
Bev could say no then it is Ann's decision to get a taxi or go without.
If this happened Bev may very well have said I am busy now but we could both go down tomorrow.

People get demonstrably more egocentric as they age. They find it more and more difficult to appreciate things from other people’s perspective. Particularly if their world is quite small. The world is viewed from their eyes and understanding. Also more anxious about the unknown (taxis). (And non-drivers very often don’t appreciate the inconvenience of driving on busy roads and car parks etc. )

Maybe this has happened to your friend - she is becoming more egocentric. She can’t help that.

You need to revisit the conversation about lifts. Tell your friend that you need more notice, and even then may sometimes need to rearrange as things are happening in your life too.

Let the dust settle then offer to go somewhere nice for a coffee and discuss.

ANN is a CF!

Did ANN ever actually learn to drive?

ANN should have called a taxi ... full stop!

BEV we are on your side!

#SomePeopleHaveSomeCheek