Not really celebrating Christmas?

We haven't for a while now.
All fake, all brainwashing, you think you have to do something because that is what you've always done .
Very liberating when you realise you don't have too. I hope more people start to think like that.
Make your own choice.
It's nothing but brainwashing from the moment your born.
Most people who celebrate aren't even religious anyway.
Whole things a joke.

honestly the only thing stopping me just going off AWOL somewhere is literally only the guilt that it would damage the kids and be upsetting for my Mum.

Very torn on this issue. I had idyliic extended family Christmases growing up. Once you're a mother and you realise how much work it is, I did not enjoy it any more! Now divorced and we have awkward polite Christmas days with me, ex DH, my mum and our two teen DC. I dread the day months in advance, I find the whole thing extremely stressful, do the Christmas dinner etc, feel sad that I'm not in a family house any more but in a small flat, have artificial tree as can't get it up the stairs, My Mum is pretty old and travels over from the UK specially, has a lot of requirements, which is fine, but everything feels on the one hand hollow and sad and on the other this huge guilt of trying to make it somehow resemble the earlier family Christmases we were able to give the kids. Both me and ex DH have partners who spend it with their families so we don't see our partners and are in this weird time warp (although we like and respect each other). I feel really depressed even thinking about the fact Christmas is coming up. I know this sounds ungrateful and probably is, but I really don't enjoy it and I just count the hours until it's over and I can stop doing tasks.

I am so over the idea of Christmas, it is such an outdated nonsense.

Based on a story proved to be very inaccurate, celebrated by the manufacture and consumption of tat. People (mainly women) getting stressed about presents and food nobody needs.

Getting together with family or friends, and sticking a few fairy lights on the wall can be done on any day of the year. I am not old and deluded enough yet to think that 25 December so in any way remarkable.

You’re so right about this. I must say I don’t find it particularly stressful. Cook a roast dinner, have family over, give a few gifts, I wonder if those who find it stressful are putting too much pressure on themselves to make it perfect? It’s friends and family that really matter and I wouldn’t want to miss a chance to celebrate with them.

I didn’t vote because I think the answer lies in the middle. I’ve done alternative Christmas before and it’s been wonderful. I still need something special though. A nice meal, though it doesn’t have to be a traditional roast at home, and for me, something that acknowledges the solstice.

now I haven’t done that since having a child. She would never be ok with it. She has ASD and keeps adding to her written list of required December activities. Few are expensive in anything but my time.

It is Estepona in Southern Spain. It is a working town and is open all year round, and (sorry for sounding snobby or anything) is as far from the Full English breakfast scene as you can get in that region. You could have a look on google maps and see the lovely Old Town, the Paseo (tiled and paved walkway) all along the beach area with lovely coffee stops etc. Yes that is in December/January.

Weather can be hit and miss, but is ALWAYS warmer than home, and the days are longer with sunset about 6pm ish. That is such a bonus compared to deepest Winter at home.

We sometimes venture off and have gone to Seville for a couple of days, then Cordoba and Granada and so on.

My brother owns a place there (he's the rich one in the family lol!), and is very generous with offering it out to family. He has kids so doesn't/can't go at Christmas. Bonus for us! The cost of living down there is so much better than home, and we can avail of free accommodation although we pay a generous sum (not asked for) for the utilities and cleaning etc.

Highly recommend, and I know we are lucky to be able to do it.

I love everything about Christmas apart from how early it starts, but am also of the opinion that "you do you" - but your voting leaves no room for that!

YABU - Bah Humbug, you sad eejit, you must celebrate! (Don't agree, you do you)
YANBU - Low key/no celebration works for/appeals to me - there's better things to spend money on! (It doesn't appeal to me, so don't agree with this either!)

I used to LOVE Christmas but the older im getting it seems so much more stressful. I have a 5.5 year old though so we still go all out, but I can see us cutting back when he’s older or even going away. It’s the expectation of it I don’t like, like you must be happy and joyful, and that gets me down.
Do what you have to do!

That's fair enough.

I thought you'd meant no gift as you'd already got something earlier in the year.

As long as he is happy, go for it ☺️

Ooh, where do you go? Considering a little roadtrip to Europe over Xmas but thought most places would be pretty much taken over by festivities.

Given it was stolen by Christians in the first place, maybe we’ve just gone back to our pagan roots!

I used to really dislike Christmas as a child so I like to make an effort to enjoy it as an adult with my own household and make my own choices.

As a child I would be dragged away from toys to see my dad's elderly mum in the morning and she was really old fashioned so we had to sit quietly with the TV off during our visit so the adults could speak then we would either go to my aunts for dinner or they would come to ours and I would be forced to entertain my awfully behaved and horrible cousin who I have no relationship with now. She has since been diagnosed with a personality disorder and severe anxiety so that explains some of her behaviours but being round her really spoiled Christmas for me. I enjoyed boxing day more where I could just stay in my own house and calmly play with the nice things from santa.

These days, Christmas either goes one of two ways, if my husband is home, we host Christmas for both sets of parents and siblings and we do quite a lavish four course meal all made from scratch (we love cooking). They drinks flow, and the music is on loud with lots of dancing until late. My husband is also a very generous and thoughtful gift giver so he will normally spoil me with something expensive on the day.

In the years he is abroad for work and my stepson is at his mums, my mum has me and my brother who is single and we stay over in our old childhood bedrooms, eat and get drunk. We still open our presents in the morning and we do the silly tradition that stemmed from us as kids where I open one, then my brother opens one, then me again until our pile from santa is finished (much smaller now we are adults). It's light hearted and fun.

This Christmas will be the first with my new baby and my stepson both here so we will probably curb the partying element to accomodate the children but we will still do the big santa reveal in the morning, the indulgent dinner and the celebrations etc.

I love Christmas and don't really understand how it's stressful, I'm about as far from a perfectionist as you could get though so I'm sure that helps.

I think that's the problem. Many people (especially mums) are perfectionists and the pressure is on to make Christmas "memorable"/perfect.

My mum sure was and it always resulted in fights and arguments with people spending at least a portion of the day in separate rooms avoiding each other. It made Christmas much worse than if we put much less of an effort in and actually enjoyed each other's company.

I like a low-key christmas myself. The most important thing is that we are all getting some rest and enjoy our time. That seems only possible if there is less pressure to make it "special", so to speak.

May I suggest if you don't want to do Xmas, consider volunteering on the day at a shelter / refuge? They are always looking for those that have extra time to help on the day.

My only rule for Christmas is that I don't do anything that interferes with anyone else's (unless a completely unavoidable urgent health emergency etc. So I would never go away, go to a restaurant etc as that means other people have to work.

I don't get to spend much time with my partner so Christmas is really special for us, he cooks an amazing meal and we give each other a lot of great gifts. Not a religious thing for us. It's really nice for it to be just us time. Then in the evening or next day we have all our favourite people over, who are all wanting to escape their families by that point, and we hang out and play games and eat more food and be ourselves.

If I wasn't into Christmas I'd be volunteering at a food bank or something in the community. I wouldn't just do nothing, as there's a lot of people to help at that time of year. (Instead I plan a whole bunch of food bank runs and volunteering in January, as most people are too short of money and time to donate then).

Because everything is shut, the weather is probably terrible, and there is nothing else to do? What would be your ideal thing to do, on a random day stuck in the house? Do that, surely?

Absolutely no right or wrong way to celebrate Christmas, everyone will have their own ideas of the best Christmas.

We went on holiday last Christmas and it was a mixture of wonderful and stressful. We do have young children so different to you. One DC got sick with a typical winter bug at one point so had to rush to a shop for calpol and spend a couple of days inside. We were in an air BnB and struggled to cook Christmas dinner in an aga (first time using one and probably last, it took us about 8 hours to cook it).

Those were the only real stresses though, other than that it was a lowkey chilled Christmas. Didn’t decorate our house except for a few fairy lights and candles because we knew we wouldn’t be home. It felt weird not getting a Christmas tree and I did miss it. DC got far less presents than usual because we couldn’t transport them all but they didn’t mind.

I’d probably do it again but DH said he wouldn’t, he likes being at home.