For not liking my partner’s pet?

Older dogs are a gift

Sorry if I've missed it, but what does your partner do when the dog is demanding attention from you? Have you told him it's too much for you?

It does sound like dog needs to learn some boundaries. I'm assuming it doesn't bother your partner so he hasn't put anything in place for you or anyone else who doesn't want his/her attention.

😂 I get that, but not all dogs are. Our springer wasn't (in her elder years) but she was trained as a gun dog, so very obedient.

Conversely at a stable yard where I worked we had a doberman "guard dog" who would bark and bark at strangers and when you went to meet him was as soft as you like.

We took him to the beach one year and the old sod sat on my bloody lap the 2 hours there, because he'd never been in a car before and wanted reassurance. He bloody loved the beach ❤️ I wasn't sure having a doberman on my lap was the best if I'm honest... Years ago before you had to strap them in...

@MsMonday You don't need to provide that attention and involvement though, your DP should be the one to do that.

Many dogs have a special attachment to one person in the household, your partner can fulfil that role. I'm the special person in our house, our dog expects far more from me than anyone else!

It’s very telling that you are saying “it” rather than he or she - partly because the dog’s sex will influence how he or she behaves in some ways, but mostly because it suggests that you are not thinking of the dog as an individual family member. By that I don’t mean that you should be expected to love a random dog or even care for it, or that dogs are as important as humans in a family, but this dog was with your partner before you were and definitely is important to him. You seem to be thinking of it as a time consuming nuisance rather than an individual you have to get to know and who has to get to know you. There’s no obligation for you to do this, of course, but unless you’re thinking in terms of building your own relationship with the dog, he or she will not seem like an individual to you and you will continue to struggle to bond with him or her.

The dog may not be easy to get on with, may be under stimulated or badly trained etc, I’m not saying the dog’s behaviour isn’t part of the problem, but I still think that it’s important to realise it’s an individual that you don’t yet have a relationship with, but you can do if you choose to, but not without time and effort, probably.

Labrador's tend to calm down a bit from 3yrs onwards. But from what you say, it sounds like the dog is potentially not getting enough exercise. How long are these twice daily walks? Labs need a lot of exercise and stimulation.

Our lab gets that, and when she's at home she spends most of the time asleep because we've worn her out.

If the dog is only getting two short walks per day, like say 30mins each or something, that's just not enough. They need a few hours of burning off energy ideally. That might differ depending on if they are a working or show breed of lab. Ours is a working breed, so we walk her for hours and let her swim most days too. Then she sleeps at home and is not needy in the slightest, apart from wanting some affection every now and then, but a normal amount, nothing excessive.

Surely the dog would have been like this when you stayed over and therefore you would have seen the norm?

Unless the dog is untrained and therefore a nuisance, then YABU but even if the dog is a nuisance, the dog was there before you, it’s his/her home and you don’t get to ‘dislike’ it to your DP. Just move out. You shouldn’t have moved in with someone who has a dog if you weren’t prepared for every situation that might come with that.

You're allowed to ignore the dog if you need personal space, he/she will adapt. As long as you're kind to them, that's enough given that he/she's not your dog.

My dog definitely enjoys attention but he understands that we can't play with him all the time so he snoozes in one of his favorite places. I'm slightly annoyed with him right now as he barfed on a rug today, I'm not convinced that its wasn't deliberate.

My DH has 2 dogs he is besotted with. I love my 2 cats. I like the dogs well enough and walk and feed them if he is away. But I don't talk to them in a silly voice or let them get up on to the sofa with me. DH let's them share his chair with him.

I love animals, I hated my sons dads family dog.. took him for walks but he wasn't pleasant, my son could climb over my aunties dog, they shared food

Dogs are massive attention hogs 😂

You definitely wouldn't win.

I completely understand.
I really dislike dogs but fell in love with a man who has one.
The dog drives me insane.
If it was any larger or stronger smelling I would be gone.
We compromised though - the dog isn't ever allowed in the bedroom and I've zero dog responsibilities. Dog also goes to his mum's when he's away with work.

I love the man more than I hate the dog.

I know he loves me but if he was a choice between me and the dog....I'm not sure 100% sure I would win!

Sorry hadn't seen all the other posts, I think I've duplicated questions

A guy with a dog would have been an absolute deal breaker for me when I was dating. I would not have dated a dog owner never mind move in with them

Did you not stay over at all before you moved in? Are you now expected to be involved with walking the dog and clearing up after it?

Only you can decide if this relationship is worth it with this added in

The dog shouldn't need too much attention. Depending on what your definition of too much attention is? What do you mean by always needs attention?

I know they like being fussed (what pet doesn't) but there should be training in place for this not to be an issue. Do you know what breed it is? Some dogs are more needy than others from my experience.

I've been watching dogs behaving very badly recently and pretty much every behavioural issue has been fixed pretty quickly with proper training (I don't currently have a dog, but did have one growing up, who was my best mate, springer spaniel)

Do you feel too much attention from your partner is being directed towards the dog? Or are you feeling like you're spending too much time trying to placate the dog? Not trying to be devicive

Obviously dogs need attention & affection but they also need to learn to settle and play with chews etc on their own.

Can you tell us more about the dog - age, breed, routine?

It’s hard to tell from your posts if the dog is showing normal doggy behaviours or it’s actually a PIA. Which could be a result of poor training or not having its needs met.

eg muddy paws & shedding hair are normal, whereas pooing/weeing in the house are not.

https://www.reddit.com/r/memes/comments/d369vn/sheruineddlives/?utmsource=share&utmmmedium=mweb3x&utmname=mweb3xcss&utmmterm=1&utmcontent=shareebutton