To organise a 40th and not include drinks or food?

This is normal in my groups of friends,

I would phrase it something like

Hey going out for DH birthday on ( this date) as it's a big one. I have reserved an area so we can all sit together. Let us know if you can make it.

Thanks

I think most people invited to a 40th with a reserved section in a bar would expect some food like nibbles and maybe a glass of bubbly.

Not a sit down meal and full drinks but something. Because it is an invite to a celebration in a reserved area.

@IVFendomum It's not going to be fun for the guests who'll be expecting a drink and at least some nibbles. Some guests might not have eaten beforehand expecting a buffet, birthday cake, forked out for travel, gift, possibly a baby sitter and not even a welcome drink. A bit shite if you ask me.

You give an invitation. You're a host.

It is a party though - a 40th.

I'd run it past your partner first, I'd be really not happy with this set up and I'd end up paying for everyone's drinks.

At a party, not in a public house.

You may not want people to bring gifts but most people probably would if they've been invited to a party. If you worded the invite as ' come to x party' then I think people would expect food at least. If you worded it as ' we're getting together at x place for x birthday please feel free to join us' then I don't think people would expect food or bring a gift (some still might). How did you word the invite?

I’d expect some money behind the bar, although I’d be late anyway, so it’d be gone by then.

🤣🤣

I don't know why people are talking about hosting. Asking people to join you in a public pub isn't hosting. It's just organising a time and place. So no expectation to provide anything.

I wouldn’t bother doing this if nothing is provided. I’d be annoyed to travel more than 25 mins for this

@Scallopp funny enough, many posters have made the same point as me. The bare minimum etiquette is provide something.

I think people will be fine with drinks. I went to a friend's 50th which was held in a local bar and there were no free drinks but there was a buffet which she'd provided. It wasn't anything fancy, there were lots of crisps and nuts along with other things but it was nice that we all had some food. Oh and a birthday cake made by another friend for her.

Well, if you're inviting people to someone's 40th, they're going to bring a gift.
People will make an effort, some will be travelling.
Maybe put that statement on the invitation about the shit..

When I said what's the point, I meant if I was going to make the effort to go to someone's celebration the very least you could provide is some sort of drink/food if it's in the evening.

People on MN are a different breed, obviously used to moving in circles where everything is always provided for them. In real life, it's not like that. Unless it's a party.

What time is the event planned for? If it's over what would be a usually dinner time, say between 7pm-9pm then I think you either need to lay on some food or make it very clear that people should eat before they attend. Would it be possible to host a little party at your house, you could lay on an inexpensive spread, have some beer and wine ready to go and it wouldn't be unreasonable to ask friends to make a contribution by way of a bottle of wine in lieu of a gift.

I don’t think you’re being unreasonable, you just have to be clear about it when you invite people. It’d be different if you were having a party and buffet in your local rugby clubhouse, but even then I’d still expect people to pay for their own drinks at some point!

I’ve been to a 30th in a London reserved area in a pub, no food provided, think we may have had one drink provided, then paid for ourselves. Totally fine.

Presumably you’re inviting fairly close friends so it shouldn’t be an issue anyway.

If it’s a pub with a minimum spend in order to reserve the area, you could maybe cover that yourself if you felt inclined, then most people get a “free” drink. But honestly, good friends won’t give a shiny shit, they’ll just want to celebrate with you.

Nope OP. No matter what, it will come across as tight and mean not to provide anything on the night. Sorry but I would judge you for this if I had made a special effort to get there. Your husband might be mortified also....

Either have a proper "do" or don't bother, it could be quite embarrassing if people comment amongst themselves about the lack of hospitality provided.

It would be ok if you were meeting up in the local pub or something and people could just drop in for a bit. And no matter how you might phrase it on the invites it will come across as a non party party. At the very least, I'd expect some finger food and maybe the first drink. But not nothing at all. Sorry...

I wouldn’t assume drinks, but I would assume a buffet unless I was told otherwise.

I think a party without food isn't a party, sorry.

You definitely need to stretch to a few bottles of prosecco and some Nibbles.

Clearly I hang out with a different crowd, because there would be no expectation for birthday drinks in a bar to be paid for by the host. Birthday boy would likely receive plenty of drinks from friends.