Not allowed on Boys trip

its not all of them who do it and as i said upthread, they may not be all his friends. Its possible that some are friends of friends or work colleagues.

Tell that to p diddy

It’s weird he wants to go on a lads holiday when he’s married with his other married friends who will be shagging other women. If it was a lads holiday and they just went out and had fun etc without cheating then totally, but the fact he wants to go.. makes me think he enjoys doing it too!!

Do it - I'm 46 and had a rejuvenation, staying out all night after spending a long time raising kids and staying home

100% agree, I don't hold back these days - OP let them know you know what they get up to

I haven’t read any other comments but I think YABU. I don’t know what issues you had in the past, if it’s cheating well maybe I can see why you feel that way.

But without knowing the context I think you are being unreasonable. I’d probably judge DH a bit for being friends with cheats due to moral reasons but I’d never stop him going away with friends. If others want to cheat that’s on them to be that way, I trust my DH enough to know he wouldn’t do that to me. Stopping your DH going is controlling and honestly if you can’t trust him to go away then why the hell are you with him?

I think it's been said, but this all sounds very controlling. You can't make someone do something or not as they will come to resent you. He is his own person and he will do what he wants. If he loves and respects you he won't cheat. If he doesn't and he wants to cheat he will - and I would suggest he won't wait for a lads weekend to do this. I would worry about his resenting you for not 'letting' him go.

When you say ‘once in a while’, I wouldn’t find it weird if it was a couple of male friends going for a golf/fishing/football weekend or a few female friends going for a spa weekend, but what the OP (and others) was describing is a regular big group holiday of partying, presumably for a week minimum. I find that weird for people who have partners, possibly children and other responsibilities. I don’t know anyone in my social, family or work circles who do that.

Why are they asking you if he can go, he's not a child, has he told them you don't want him to go which he agreed to. They all sound like a bunch of idiots, oh please can he come, mummy, pleeeeeease

I’d love to be living it large in Ibiza with my mates but too old now im in my 40’s. Although David Guetta is mid 50’s so if he can do it ……….

In what sense is it weird? Every coupled-up person I know goes away on holiday with friends once in a while, without their partner.

It's not Club 18-30 or raving in Ibiza - other holidays are available!

I honestly don't know why anyone with morales, would want to be friends with a group of people who think cheating on their partners is OK. Let alone go on holiday with them! I would be concerned about it too, pack mentality comes to mind!

I dont get all this separate breaks away lark.

That’s completely different for older people who are at a different point in life. Weekends away with a close friend or two for companionship fine, especially if you’re all single. But regular big group holidays with a crowd of mates when you’re all married/partnered is weird. Most married couples want to go on holiday together, not still pretend they are single 20-somethings, living it large in Ibiza with their mates.

Has your dh cheated in the past?
I wouldn’t like being told I’m not allowed to do something based on someone else’s actions. It would also feel like my dp was viewing me as a weak person who could be led astray like some kind of teenager.

He could catch something and give it to you on return.
Climidia (sic) is awful for women and our fertility.

Yes. Everyone knows friendships are so passe. Only the immature spend time with their friends.

Hmmm except my mom did girls weekends. She's 75 and still does " girls weekends". I don't think she's immature I think she's fun.

I hope my friends and I are still going away for weekends together when we're that age.

Since when was it normal for a bunch of fully grown, married men (or women) to regularly go away on holiday in a group of friends, without their partners? I find that really odd. Yes, an occasional stag/hen do, but this sounds like a regular event for your DH and his mates. You all sound like you need to grow up, you’re not a bunch of carefree teenagers any more.

For me, personally, it wouldn't be weather or not I trust my partner, it would be a moral one. Why does he approve of, want to holiday with etc people who do this. Does he know their partners too? If so I think that's even worse. Also, if he has agreed to that, did he step in with the constant pressuring you and say look I'm not up for it drop it, or did he just let them keep asking you to make you feel arkward?

I do get the whole if he wants to go let him go, I do agree, but I would feel on edge if the theme of these getaways is that a fair few of the men have one nighters. Drink can be an influence on bad group decisions.

Exactly this; why would you be friends with these men who have no respect for their partners in the first place?
Hopefully DH is no cheat but it sounds like his judgement is off for hanging around with these people.

You either trust him or you don’t. Does he really have to travel overseas to be unfaithful?

i dunno Darl ,
my ex husband does same trip with his mates and his ex slapper told me 3 years after he had a kid with her , she would join them camping as well as backpackers without me knowing for years, so Its what your safe with , i trusted his mates till the thing he got pregnant told me even how the trips i was married for 7 years now i laugh , hearing rumours from there mates what there hubbys all do , hope it gets better , dont let it ruin you guys .

If he goes, and doesn't join in the ''activities'' of the rest, then he will not enjoy the trip. It will be a very lonely time for him.

There is also the danger of them plying him with alcohol which may affect his judgement.

Tell him you love him too much to lose him. That if he is caught breaking a law because his so called friends have encouraged him, he will never be allowed back home.

You could also insist he buys the most expensive travel insurance. It might put him off - might.

How would you feel if he was stopping you going away with the girls?