Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Anxiety filled day out

166 replies

Becomingabookworm · 17/09/2024 16:26

My partner is often making me feel anxious. He has told me I am defensive and blowing situations out of proportion when I bring them up but the reaction I feel in terms of anxiety is out of my control. There's a lot of examples where I feel I have to manage my behaviour to avoid situations but can think of recent minor issues on a day out that made me wonder if he's actually causing my anxiety.

Partner suggested a day trip with the dog to somewhere neither of us has been but would be a 4 hour round trip. I suggested another scenic area which was 2 hour round trip and involved a nice woodland walk that I have done before, we went here.

  1. we went for lunch and I sat with my elbow on the table afterwards as I felt quite full and he snapped at me to sit up straight and stop slouching. I felt it was totally un called for but he said I was embarrassing him and he wouldn't have to tell me off if I didn't behave like a child. I had an elbow on the table propping my head up while we waited for the bill, not slouching over.

  2. the walk that I had suggested, I'd been here before but before owning a dog. It turns out there was a bit of a drop on one side and he spent the whole walk huffing that the dog couldn't run around so we turned back early and continued on that we should have went to the location he suggested. There were lots of other dog owners and we just had to make sure our dog was under control. He gave me the silent treatment for much of the rest of the day and complained a lot about where I'd suggested for the day out.

  3. there were roadworks on way home and the sensor at lights didn't pick up the car in front. The car in front turned around and he told me to get out of the car and go and wave at the sensor. I did this and then turned round to check he was happy with it and walk back to the car but I could see him gesturing aggressively and frantically for me to get back in the car. When I did he asked if I was stupid as when the lights change I needed to be in the car - I was out of the car for 10 seconds to do what he had asked and the light was red.

From what should have been a nice day out, I came home feeling anxious and wondering why I'd fucked the day up. I think it all seems minor but made me feel very self conscious and anxious.

AIBU for feeling anxious about these incidents? Wondering if I need some counselling about the anxiety and taking things personally or if his behaviour is also problematic.

OP posts:
InSpainTheRain · 17/09/2024 18:29

He sounds absolutely awful OP! No wonder you are so anxious, as PP have said if you got rid of him your anxiety would probably subside.

It's not normal to be shouted at, it's not normal to be told how to sit at a table; or to be told how to chop veg, for him to shout at you about car lights etc. His 4 hours round trip to walk the dog sounds ridiculous as well. I think he is trying to control you. Run - you will feel far better for leaving him if this is how he is.

Crikeyalmighty · 17/09/2024 18:19

@outdamnedspots wrong word I think by me!! 'Someone with a more forceful personality than me' is probably a better way of phrasing it

The OPs post about the sensors really hit home as I've had my H signalling and waving his arms and shouting like a looney inside the car because I am standing in slightly the not 100% perfect place to be picked up etc

rumblegrumble · 17/09/2024 18:13

Best case scenario, he's gone off you and everything you do is irritating him. Otherwise he's just plain abusive. If he's always been like this, it's almost certainly the latter. Either way, this is not a relationship you should be in.

sunseaandsoundingoff · 17/09/2024 18:11

Becomingabookworm · 17/09/2024 17:31

Honestly been thinking I'm crazy for feeling so anxious about it all when it's been such stupid things so I'm glad I posted this. I think it has built up over time to the point I'm just anxious waiting for the next thing I've done wrong and it so exhausting

Not all abuse is flat out violence or horrific things being said, some of it is like a repeated small punch to the arm. It's okay until you get a dead arm. Then your arm stays dead and you realise what's been going on all this time.

AzureSheep · 17/09/2024 18:04

Jesus Christ, point 1 alone is enough reason to leave. He’s abused and gaslit you so much you don’t trust yourself. Please please leave. Now. If you can go stay with a friend tonight, do it. While you’re starting to see the light. Don’t give him chance to talk you around. Stay strong.

Barney16 · 17/09/2024 18:04

My ex once turned into our drive to park his car and then rang me from inside his car, on the drive, outside our house to shout at me for not parking my car "properly" I left him.

outdamnedspots · 17/09/2024 18:04

@Crikeyalmighty - why do you think a woman would be a 'tyrant' if she told an abusive partner to fuck off and put him in his place?

That's a woman with boundaries. Not a tyrant.

What a weird take.

outdamnedspots · 17/09/2024 17:58

MonsteraMama · 17/09/2024 16:30

Point one alone would be grounds for fecking divorce for me, seriously. The day my husband snaps at me like an old English grandmama to mind my table manners will be the day I get a new patio put in and mysteriously become single.

In all seriousness though OP he treats you and speaks to you appallingly. This isn't normal, he's a prick, and you can 100% do better. Being single would be better. I bet if you left him your anxiety would decrease exponentially!

Edited

This!

Does he talk to you as if he likes you, op? No. And he's supposed to love you.

He's vile.

JWhipple · 17/09/2024 17:58

Becomingabookworm · 17/09/2024 16:33

Seriously? I actually felt stupid writing this post thinking everyone would say just to grow up or something or that I'm being unreasonable for slouching or having my elbows on the table!

Oh goodness no.

He sounds bloody awful. I'd be anxious with all this crap. Who does he think he is, huffing and puffing, telling you to sit up straight.

And making you get out to wave at the sensor but then shouting at you for doing that?

It's absolutely ridiculous. Can you imagine acting like him to any of your close friends and relatives? Telling them to stop slouching, sulking about the dog, demanding they get out and wave at a traffic light in front of everyone?

Of course not. Because you're a rational human being. Get out, I imagine your anxiety will greatly reduce.

Disturbia81 · 17/09/2024 17:52

Sorry but he's a cunt. He is the reason for your anxiety, he would make the calmest person anxious. This isn't normal and life is too short for this

TotalAbsenceOfImperialRaiment · 17/09/2024 17:51

Seriously, you will feel much better when you dump this abusive control freak.

Becomingabookworm · 17/09/2024 17:51

Crikeyalmighty · 17/09/2024 17:48

@Becomingabookworm it appears my H is living a double life!! I'm in my 60s now OP , 2nd marriage of nearly 30 years and lots of complicated ties and not in a position to leave- but one reason I don't drive is the fact I just know he would be a prick about my driving and my anxiety would rocket. He has lots of good things too about him , but the frequent control freakism and temper and mood aspects really aren't great to live with.

Please take my advice and get out whilst you can- they get worse - not better with age. And I think with some guys they can't help being a complete control freak - it's a personality thing- I'm a bit of a people pleaser and I sometimes think these guys would be better with a real tyrant who told them to get f**ed if they spoke like that right from the offset.

It's funny you mention driving as thinking about it I've avoided driving him anywhere for about 2 years as everytime I used to he'd criticise me to the point I'd end up making daft mistakes as I was so anxious. I had someone crash into me when I was a new driver which wasnt my fault and he continually brought it up and how I didn't pay enough attention even though he wasn't there.

OP posts:
Acornsoup · 17/09/2024 17:50

He's you partner, not your parent OP

Crikeyalmighty · 17/09/2024 17:48

@Becomingabookworm it appears my H is living a double life!! I'm in my 60s now OP , 2nd marriage of nearly 30 years and lots of complicated ties and not in a position to leave- but one reason I don't drive is the fact I just know he would be a prick about my driving and my anxiety would rocket. He has lots of good things too about him , but the frequent control freakism and temper and mood aspects really aren't great to live with.

Please take my advice and get out whilst you can- they get worse - not better with age. And I think with some guys they can't help being a complete control freak - it's a personality thing- I'm a bit of a people pleaser and I sometimes think these guys would be better with a real tyrant who told them to get f**ed if they spoke like that right from the offset.

Corksoles · 17/09/2024 17:47

Oooh, OP. This horrible abusive man sucking all the life and joy out of you. Don't hang about. He doesn't even like you. Be happy somewhere else soon!

Snowfalling · 17/09/2024 17:46

Becomingabookworm · 17/09/2024 17:40

I think you are right that there will always be something as that's what I'm realising nnow. Even when I've changed my behaviour he still finds something that's not good enough to make me feel shit about myself

This man is very clearly abusive. You're walking on eggshells around him. Read 'why does he do that', i believe it's on pdf now also. You really need to leave before you're just a shell of the person you once were. He will destroy you.

spiderdave · 17/09/2024 17:46

Fucking fuck that. He's a prick

User050105 · 17/09/2024 17:43

From your very first post-

wondering why I'd fucked the day up

You didn't fuck anything up. Not a thing. You did nothing wrong in any of those situations.

FadedRed · 17/09/2024 17:41

SanFranBear · 17/09/2024 17:31

Think of it this way, OP... why would he stick around if you're so awful and embarrassing and 'badly behaved'?

It's because he enjoys it - he likes putting you down, making you feel bad and anxious and like you have to apologise... he gets off on the complete power imbalance and looks for new ways that he can trip you up and confuse you!

If you can afford to go it alone, and sounds like you can, please do! He'll never be happy and he will absolutely never make you happy.. you deserve so much more from your one life!

Good luck x

This answer sums up what your abusive partner is getting from this relationship - it’s a power thing. He has no affection or respect for you, you exist in his life purely to make him feel superior.
Please take back control of your life. ‘The Freedom Programme’ will open your eyes to how abused you have been. And will help your self esteem. It will take time, but I guarantee the anxiety you feel all the time will, on the whole, disappear when this arsehole of a man is no longer a part of your life.

Becomingabookworm · 17/09/2024 17:40

Heronwatcher · 17/09/2024 17:35

I suspect that you might not have anxiety, you’re living with an abusive man. Anyone would be anxious in your situation, it’s a logical reaction to the abuse you’re experiencing.

Get out now before it gets worse and whilst you can afford to start again/ don’t have children. This isn’t going to improve. You could do everything his way and there would still be something he can use to justify his abusive behaviour.

I think you are right that there will always be something as that's what I'm realising nnow. Even when I've changed my behaviour he still finds something that's not good enough to make me feel shit about myself

OP posts:
Heronwatcher · 17/09/2024 17:35

I suspect that you might not have anxiety, you’re living with an abusive man. Anyone would be anxious in your situation, it’s a logical reaction to the abuse you’re experiencing.

Get out now before it gets worse and whilst you can afford to start again/ don’t have children. This isn’t going to improve. You could do everything his way and there would still be something he can use to justify his abusive behaviour.

maslinpan · 17/09/2024 17:35

He is a piece of shit.

GingerPirate · 17/09/2024 17:31

This is quite incredible....
I wouldn't wipe a shoe over this man.
😮💩😡

HisNibs · 17/09/2024 17:31

Op, he's a weapons-grade arsehole. Do yourself a massive favour and bin the fucker. I think you'll quickly find that your anxiety reduces greatly.

SanFranBear · 17/09/2024 17:31

Think of it this way, OP... why would he stick around if you're so awful and embarrassing and 'badly behaved'?

It's because he enjoys it - he likes putting you down, making you feel bad and anxious and like you have to apologise... he gets off on the complete power imbalance and looks for new ways that he can trip you up and confuse you!

If you can afford to go it alone, and sounds like you can, please do! He'll never be happy and he will absolutely never make you happy.. you deserve so much more from your one life!

Good luck x

Swipe left for the next trending thread