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Anxiety filled day out

166 replies

Becomingabookworm · 17/09/2024 16:26

My partner is often making me feel anxious. He has told me I am defensive and blowing situations out of proportion when I bring them up but the reaction I feel in terms of anxiety is out of my control. There's a lot of examples where I feel I have to manage my behaviour to avoid situations but can think of recent minor issues on a day out that made me wonder if he's actually causing my anxiety.

Partner suggested a day trip with the dog to somewhere neither of us has been but would be a 4 hour round trip. I suggested another scenic area which was 2 hour round trip and involved a nice woodland walk that I have done before, we went here.

  1. we went for lunch and I sat with my elbow on the table afterwards as I felt quite full and he snapped at me to sit up straight and stop slouching. I felt it was totally un called for but he said I was embarrassing him and he wouldn't have to tell me off if I didn't behave like a child. I had an elbow on the table propping my head up while we waited for the bill, not slouching over.

  2. the walk that I had suggested, I'd been here before but before owning a dog. It turns out there was a bit of a drop on one side and he spent the whole walk huffing that the dog couldn't run around so we turned back early and continued on that we should have went to the location he suggested. There were lots of other dog owners and we just had to make sure our dog was under control. He gave me the silent treatment for much of the rest of the day and complained a lot about where I'd suggested for the day out.

  3. there were roadworks on way home and the sensor at lights didn't pick up the car in front. The car in front turned around and he told me to get out of the car and go and wave at the sensor. I did this and then turned round to check he was happy with it and walk back to the car but I could see him gesturing aggressively and frantically for me to get back in the car. When I did he asked if I was stupid as when the lights change I needed to be in the car - I was out of the car for 10 seconds to do what he had asked and the light was red.

From what should have been a nice day out, I came home feeling anxious and wondering why I'd fucked the day up. I think it all seems minor but made me feel very self conscious and anxious.

AIBU for feeling anxious about these incidents? Wondering if I need some counselling about the anxiety and taking things personally or if his behaviour is also problematic.

OP posts:
ZeroFucksGivenToday · 17/09/2024 20:39

Becomingabookworm · 17/09/2024 17:51

It's funny you mention driving as thinking about it I've avoided driving him anywhere for about 2 years as everytime I used to he'd criticise me to the point I'd end up making daft mistakes as I was so anxious. I had someone crash into me when I was a new driver which wasnt my fault and he continually brought it up and how I didn't pay enough attention even though he wasn't there.

This rings true. A catalyst for me ending my marriage was I bumped into a car. And I knew he'd go mad. It was really minor damage and he was vile. In his eyes (unless he did it!) nothing was ever an accident. It made me feel ill for days. I was a sobbing mess. I realised how stupid it was.

ironically about 3 months ago, I had a prang. Absolutely my fault. It was so so weird, I got out. Exchanged details, sorted insurance and, well, nothing. No drama, no devastation, obviously I was a bit annoyed as I'd done it and it would ding my insurance, but a quick call to a mate who gave me the "it's fine, no one injured, it's just metal speech" and life was fine. No sleepless nights etc. That's the difference when you don't have that hanging over you. And my ex was in no way as critical as your P is over the smaller stuff.
Honestly, life can be so relaxing when it's just your own crap you're dealing with.

TheBossOfMe · 17/09/2024 20:37

Goodness he sounds awful and is completely emotionally abusive. You can do better and your anxiety is entirely created by his inability to navigate life in a calm way. Get rid.

hobbledyhoy · 17/09/2024 20:36

He sounds absolutely awful OP, I'm not surprised your nerves are torn to shreds if you are subjected to a constant critique throughout the day.
As others have said, this isn't acceptable and I'm afraid to say that the getting you out the car to wave at the traffic light seems particularly nasty. Not only is he continually undermining your confidence and sanity, he's now ridiculing you by pushing you to see how far you'll go.
I've no doubt your anxiety will disappear when he does. You deserve much better.

Nodlikeyouwerelistening · 17/09/2024 20:28

I suspect your anxiety will magically cure itself within a few short weeks once you break up and stop all contact.

Calamitousness · 17/09/2024 20:26

You’re lucky. No kids with this tosser. Call it quits asap and start finding someone who makes you feel amazing and is a laugh.

YellowphantGrey · 17/09/2024 20:21

Becomingabookworm · 17/09/2024 19:51

The mad thing is probably that I didn't even question, he said you need to be the one who goes to get the sensor to work as I'm driving so I just did it.

Temp traffic lights sometimes don't register the car so you move forward slowly, if it's safe, and it picks it up. What would the absolute twat do if he was in the car on his own?

The fact you didn't question it shows how bad he has abused you, to the point where you accept it and justify it to yourself.

You are worth more than this. You are not to blame. You are stronger than you think.

Definitely think about doing the Freedom course. And please, make your plans to leave. If you act as stupid as he thinks you are, it will be easy to do.

But please, recognise your worth

persisted · 17/09/2024 20:19

He can get to fuck.
Whatever he may believe he is not in charge of you, you are in charge of you.

I have probably never chopped veg straight in 40 years, and have my elbows on the table often, what difference does it make?

I hope you maintain this clarity and organise your plans, life is to short to put up with this nonsense

Stompythedinosaur · 17/09/2024 20:18

I would end a relationship over just point 1.

Becomingabookworm · 17/09/2024 20:14

Crikeyalmighty · 17/09/2024 19:52

@outdamnedspots I'm biding my time- but haven't discounted it at some point-
I actually do care about my H - and a lot of the time we get on well - problem is like others have said we have the 90% ok mixed with 10% prime shit. I just don't much like living with him at times and more frequent than I would like -

Definitely relate to this as well as there are a lot of good times but there are probably too many times where he's making me feel anxious and I'm not sure the good can outweigh the bad. Sorry to hear that you're in a similar situation

OP posts:
Heyheyitsanotherday · 17/09/2024 19:55

This is not a you problem. I hope you realise that 💕 he is emotionally abusive. This is abusive. Please please leave whilst you can. Don’t get trapped. He will break you. Be happy.

Crikeyalmighty · 17/09/2024 19:52

@outdamnedspots I'm biding my time- but haven't discounted it at some point-
I actually do care about my H - and a lot of the time we get on well - problem is like others have said we have the 90% ok mixed with 10% prime shit. I just don't much like living with him at times and more frequent than I would like -

Becomingabookworm · 17/09/2024 19:51

YellowphantGrey · 17/09/2024 19:38

Why the fuck did you get of a car at traffic lights to check the sensor on them?!

You need to male plans to leave this idiot

The mad thing is probably that I didn't even question, he said you need to be the one who goes to get the sensor to work as I'm driving so I just did it.

OP posts:
Becomingabookworm · 17/09/2024 19:50

Nanny0gg · 17/09/2024 19:26

No wonder you're anxious!

You'll feel much better when he's gone!

Is he like this in front of your friends and family?

I can think of times he's acted like that in front of them if we've been hosting people especially he would speak to me the same way. They've never mentioned it to me though.

OP posts:
MillyMollly · 17/09/2024 19:40

Look, even if he does wang on and on about how it's you and not him etc etc, just say 'yes ok, you're right so I'd rather not inflict myself on you a moment longer' - ideally say this as you're leaving him, having sorted out a new place to live

Honestly just don't tolerate this utter shit. There's simply no need to do so

You've got money to support yourself? Great. Look at housing just for you and ditch him

You don't need to live with this you know

outdamnedspots · 17/09/2024 19:39

Crikeyalmighty · 17/09/2024 18:19

@outdamnedspots wrong word I think by me!! 'Someone with a more forceful personality than me' is probably a better way of phrasing it

The OPs post about the sensors really hit home as I've had my H signalling and waving his arms and shouting like a looney inside the car because I am standing in slightly the not 100% perfect place to be picked up etc

You deserve much better too, you know. Is there any way you can leave?

YellowphantGrey · 17/09/2024 19:38

Becomingabookworm · 17/09/2024 16:26

My partner is often making me feel anxious. He has told me I am defensive and blowing situations out of proportion when I bring them up but the reaction I feel in terms of anxiety is out of my control. There's a lot of examples where I feel I have to manage my behaviour to avoid situations but can think of recent minor issues on a day out that made me wonder if he's actually causing my anxiety.

Partner suggested a day trip with the dog to somewhere neither of us has been but would be a 4 hour round trip. I suggested another scenic area which was 2 hour round trip and involved a nice woodland walk that I have done before, we went here.

  1. we went for lunch and I sat with my elbow on the table afterwards as I felt quite full and he snapped at me to sit up straight and stop slouching. I felt it was totally un called for but he said I was embarrassing him and he wouldn't have to tell me off if I didn't behave like a child. I had an elbow on the table propping my head up while we waited for the bill, not slouching over.

  2. the walk that I had suggested, I'd been here before but before owning a dog. It turns out there was a bit of a drop on one side and he spent the whole walk huffing that the dog couldn't run around so we turned back early and continued on that we should have went to the location he suggested. There were lots of other dog owners and we just had to make sure our dog was under control. He gave me the silent treatment for much of the rest of the day and complained a lot about where I'd suggested for the day out.

  3. there were roadworks on way home and the sensor at lights didn't pick up the car in front. The car in front turned around and he told me to get out of the car and go and wave at the sensor. I did this and then turned round to check he was happy with it and walk back to the car but I could see him gesturing aggressively and frantically for me to get back in the car. When I did he asked if I was stupid as when the lights change I needed to be in the car - I was out of the car for 10 seconds to do what he had asked and the light was red.

From what should have been a nice day out, I came home feeling anxious and wondering why I'd fucked the day up. I think it all seems minor but made me feel very self conscious and anxious.

AIBU for feeling anxious about these incidents? Wondering if I need some counselling about the anxiety and taking things personally or if his behaviour is also problematic.

Why the fuck did you get of a car at traffic lights to check the sensor on them?!

You need to male plans to leave this idiot

MissAshworth · 17/09/2024 19:34

He sounds like you have to walk on eggshells around him. This is no way to live.

Ribenaberry12 · 17/09/2024 19:32

He sounds like my ex. Walk away and don’t look back.

Nanny0gg · 17/09/2024 19:26

Becomingabookworm · 17/09/2024 16:37

Yeah it is honestly all the time. He would tell me off for the way I park my car or how I chop the veg for example so find myself worrying about how I carry out those simple tasks

No wonder you're anxious!

You'll feel much better when he's gone!

Is he like this in front of your friends and family?

EmeraldDreams73 · 17/09/2024 19:24

And do NOT fall for the I'm sorry, I just have high standards/want you to be the best you can be/or, like my exh, "now I know you really mean it...". Fuck off, mate. You deserve better.

EmeraldDreams73 · 17/09/2024 19:23

Holy shit. Anyone would have anxiety issues living with that! He's a controlling twat, OP. It's not you. Please don't put up with this and believe the old 'if you weren't so xyz I wouldn't need to be an abusive prick/controlling knob/judge and jury'.

I don't know your circumstances but this is terrible for your wellbeing and mh - and disastrous for any dc you may have to witness it. It doesn't have to be like this. I'd call his bluff and tell him he's right, he deserves so much better, so it's over. Then stick to your guns. He's a nasty piece of work. Yes, even if he can be nice sometimes (I assume, or you wouldn't still be with him).

itsmylife7 · 17/09/2024 19:12

With each post his behaviour gets worse.

Not surprised you're a bag of nerves now.

Leave as soon as you can for your own sanity.

Don't fall for the "I'm sorry I'll change " when you leave him.

Becomingabookworm · 17/09/2024 19:03

So grateful for all these replies as I've really thought I'm the problem but there is clearly something wrong when it seems to be quite clear from those examples that he's been messing with my head let alone all the rest of it

OP posts:
Acornsoup · 17/09/2024 18:44

OP life is too short. Start thinking about what you want Flowers

DancingFerret · 17/09/2024 18:42

He demonstrates all the signs of being a Grade A narcissist - and the standard advice for dealing with these people is to "grey rock" them, which basically means ignore them, don't engage in any arguments and don't react when they put you down. Please Google 'narcissists and grey rock' to help you understand and cope with your situation while you quietly make plans and leave. You can never win and will eventually lose what remains of your confidence.

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