My partner is often making me feel anxious. He has told me I am defensive and blowing situations out of proportion when I bring them up but the reaction I feel in terms of anxiety is out of my control. There's a lot of examples where I feel I have to manage my behaviour to avoid situations but can think of recent minor issues on a day out that made me wonder if he's actually causing my anxiety.
Partner suggested a day trip with the dog to somewhere neither of us has been but would be a 4 hour round trip. I suggested another scenic area which was 2 hour round trip and involved a nice woodland walk that I have done before, we went here.
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we went for lunch and I sat with my elbow on the table afterwards as I felt quite full and he snapped at me to sit up straight and stop slouching. I felt it was totally un called for but he said I was embarrassing him and he wouldn't have to tell me off if I didn't behave like a child. I had an elbow on the table propping my head up while we waited for the bill, not slouching over.
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the walk that I had suggested, I'd been here before but before owning a dog. It turns out there was a bit of a drop on one side and he spent the whole walk huffing that the dog couldn't run around so we turned back early and continued on that we should have went to the location he suggested. There were lots of other dog owners and we just had to make sure our dog was under control. He gave me the silent treatment for much of the rest of the day and complained a lot about where I'd suggested for the day out.
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there were roadworks on way home and the sensor at lights didn't pick up the car in front. The car in front turned around and he told me to get out of the car and go and wave at the sensor. I did this and then turned round to check he was happy with it and walk back to the car but I could see him gesturing aggressively and frantically for me to get back in the car. When I did he asked if I was stupid as when the lights change I needed to be in the car - I was out of the car for 10 seconds to do what he had asked and the light was red.
From what should have been a nice day out, I came home feeling anxious and wondering why I'd fucked the day up. I think it all seems minor but made me feel very self conscious and anxious.
AIBU for feeling anxious about these incidents? Wondering if I need some counselling about the anxiety and taking things personally or if his behaviour is also problematic.