To find talk of salary crass?

Agreed

I don’t love it personally, like I don’t care if people want to talk about what they have, but I don’t like when people ask about me.

I'm not taking to anyone's kids. Most of the time my social conversations are within a group of people who are 45+, from a TA on minimum wage and with a sick husband unable to work, to someone in IT in the City who almost certainly earns a shit load by the group's standards, but is never going to be so insensitive as to mention it.

I wish more women would talk openly about their salaries to promote transparency and fairness

Not talking about salaries only benefits employers. YABU

I should add that I work in a professional qualified role. The idea that junior managers are on 150k+ in medium sized financial institutions is very new information to me (I’d assumed 75kish). Whilst I knew the big bosses were on big bonuses, again it’s very new info to me that junior managers earn 50-100% bonuses.

From a social mobility perspective, for a lot of kids they have no perception of what a well paid job looks like. Don’t think of it as useful to you, think of it as potentially useful to others or your kids. As a poor kid if you knew your mums mates were on 6 figures - would that propel you towards careers where you could do the same?
whilst not poor but definitely comfortable working class, I certainly had no idea about earning potential. Probably didn’t until my 30s. Might have tried harder to progress my career pre kids if I had known. In my opinion all jobs should be legally required to be advertised with a clear salary range.

It’s not really an issue with me and my friends….most work for nhs and council….whatever banding you are on , then the pay is very visible on nhs or local government websites….. so everyone knows hat you earn…..and no one gets bonuses 😂

I've never been in a conversation in a social situation where salaries have come up, where the person initiating it hasn't been boasting, and well aware that there are people in the room who are struggling.

The only situation where it's been helpful has been within my group of colleagues.

Openly talking about salaries is positive for both social mobility and gender equality. It should be normalised.
Of course bragging about money is a different thing.

A conversation doesn’t need to add anything to anyone’s life. Different jobs earn different salaries – that’s the way things are. Factual information is not crass. It’s a hang up on the part of the person who has an issue with people who earn more than them for doing something different.

It seems to me that a lot of people on this thread have a social bubble of friends who are similar earners or in similar jobs, where a conversation might be useful.

But for those of us who are likely to be meeting up with friends who span a whole range of jobs and pay ranges that have no relevance to each other, the conversation can only be awkward.

It can do if you're talking with colleagues or people in the same area of work. But in a social setting with friends who have a variety of jobs and likely to be earning anything from minimum wage to £100k+?

No, the latter is crass and doesn't help anyone earn more. Those on low pay don't gain anything by being told that their old school friend earns £100k.

I've spent my whole life in the office that knows what everyone gets paid, because I pay them. And that's not just people in the UK, I can see wages within my organisation globally. It's very intriguing.

But British people have a massive hangup about wages that really doesn't exist anywhere else. And I do think it allows all kinds of inequality to creep in. Talking about the UK specifically, I think younger people are more likely to discuss their own pay. Globally, the yanks are very open. They like to know their worth. I'm quite open about my wage, but I'm probably not the best example. Maybe I'm desensitised.

Oh I never presumed it was a conspiracy. I’m just generally interested how some topics become a taboo and that taboo is then engrained in society and nobody questions it. It’s more of a philosophical exploration for me. Just today I was having a conversation with someone about how normal it is to have carers for your parents in the UK but in a different country it would be something shameful and unmentionable. This thread just reminded me of that.

Perfectly put.

Of course.
But back in the day, it was considered very common and rude to discuss these topics.
No-one wants to keep their opinions to themselves today, so will happily discuss such things in public, which i find crass.

Sorry if that is old-fashioned, but some things, such as financial situations are not anyone's business but ny own.

This so so much more common than you might think, though. It's why people who actually earn a lot don't talk about it - it generally does not come across well! So the transparency people are talking about doesn't happen and many people just feel awkward.

My overarching point is that the norm of not disclosing one's salary exists for a reason, it's not just some capitalist conspiracy!

I mean, that's your opinion but as you can see, it's not everyone's.

Crass, yes and weird because I can’t think of a reason for it being an appropriate topic of conversation.

Bad manners to dicuss money, religion or politics with friends, I'm afraid!

They don't sound like they were showing off, just friends chatting 🤷‍♂️

I wonder if you'd feel the same if you out-earned them all?

OK, I could see your point in this scenario. But also, maybe I wouldn’t feel the need to disclose or my friend may have been OK with me earning higher salary or even presumed it was higher based on what we do. It doesn’t take away from their achievement. Depends on a general dynamic between friends, too, I’m guessing.
Thank you. It’s an interesting point to ponder.

You keep repeating the same thing about asking someone. It doesn’t actually answer my question in the slightest because, as I keep clarifying, my question was not about why you feel uncomfortable to ask or be asked. Just why you feel uncomfortable to hear about people’s salary.
Someone else got it though and provided an example above without resorting to argumentum ad hominem.